Chicken, Yoga, Fear, And Love

I’m supposed to write about it but I haven’t a clue where to begin. Much has happened — both in my life and the world around me — and all of it is remarkably intertwined. I haven’t written regularly for a few weeks and I suspect it will take me months to unpack all that’s happened. Today though, strangely, I feel like chicken, yoga, fear, and love is where I need to begin.

Not writing is what I do when there is so much going on inside my world that I cannot grab ahold of any one thing long enough to share it. That’s where I’ve been lately, flailing around in an ocean of absolute chaos, fearful that if I stopped thrashing, I might drown in the heartache.

I write when I’m ready to feel, and lately, I couldn’t bear it. The chaos is a nice cover story and there’s been plenty of it, but the truth is that every time I think about writing the stories that need to be told, tears fill my eyes and pour down my cheeks — just as they are now — and I haven’t been ready to face them.

Every tear you never cried is waiting for you… and they are heavy.

That’s what I tell my clients when they are experiencing life in a way that resurrects all of the old, untended heartaches. They are supposed to allow the emotions to come and wash over them, like those huge black rocks I found living a few hundred feet out from the beach near Santa Monica pier.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Tammie C.

12:34PM PST on Mar 7, 2013

beautiful touching story, thank you for your time. and tears.

March 7
send a green star

Leslie w.

5:09PM PST on Feb 16, 2013

I'm not sure why I didn't see this until today but thank you for writing it. I think many people just might be jealous of the love you share with your wife and the life the two of you have built. I wish you much peace and happiness...and I promise to work hard to help achieve marriage equality in all states. I think this country needs all the love we can generate.

February 16
send a green star

natalie n.

10:59AM PDT on Oct 22, 2012

its nice to read a different perspective of things. i daresay in america you still have more freedom of speech and liberated societies than many other parts of the world. appreciate what you have and i believe that things will work out to a more equal society where people are not judged based on gender/sexual orientation etc but as humans.

October 22
send a green star

Elsie H.

10:49AM PDT on Oct 22, 2012

What a beautifully written and moving article. I so wish you well and hope that you will be happy and strong enough to face the "opposition". I feel the love in your writing and am sure that this will see you through any storm.

Celina B.

10:27AM PDT on Oct 22, 2012

This is the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen/read. Thank you very much for sharing your feelings and your experiences. I don't understand the fear which makes people feel that they need to control others. I fully support you and your message of love, which should be the platform of all life.

Abbe A.

5:42AM PDT on Aug 27, 2012

thanks

August 27
send a green star

Christy F.

3:05PM PDT on Aug 12, 2012

@SueT. You asked, "I think to put it simply...why is it hurtful if I do not agree with you?"

It is not hurtful that you do not agree. It is hurtful when people "believe" that their disagreement is enough reason to deny me equal rights.

August 12
send a green star

Sue T.

1:09PM PDT on Aug 12, 2012

I think to put it simply...why is it hurtful if I do not agree with you?

1:07PM PDT on Aug 12, 2012

Christy, your writing is touching and I appreciate it.

I do disagree with you tho...not on your relationship, for that I wish you well.
I disagree because the people supporting Chik-fil-a were supporting freedom of speech and opinion...a basic idea in this country which allows all types of lifestyles. I am sure there were anti-gay marriage people there but there were also people who were not.
Where I get worried is when I HAVE to agree with you no matter what your choices or else I am being mean, insensitive, racist, bigoted .....
So what about MY thoughts, values and feelings? I am not oppressing anyone but I feel my views get trashed just like yours do.
So I think my message is Buck up buttercup, put your big girl panties on and deal with life because not everyone is going to love you, agree with you and embrace you...just like me that does not mean you are wrong or bad....it just is.
We are NOT all equal....we ARE NOT all the same and we will never always have the same opinions on things....I have seen no hatred around the Chik-fil-a day except for the liberal guy who berated the young girl for working there....so I wish you the best but WE ALL deserve freedom & respect. OK getting off my little soapbox :)