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Codependency-Free Holidays (Rule One)

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Codependency-Free Holidays (Rule One)

The holidays are upon us, and the reaction seems much like all the years before. For some, it’s all joy and love and peace. They are excited, truly and deeply, about whatever series of experiences generally occur in their respective worlds between now and the first week or so of January. For them, it is indeed a magical time of year.

But for others, Thanksgiving marks the start of an absolutely maddening, completely hysterical spell of over-committed and over-priced, self-induced misery.

Yes, you read that right… self-induced.

I am writing this for those who strive to simply “survive” the holidays. You know who you are. Those who say yes, yes, yes to every invitation, whether they actually want to be there or not. They spend money they don’t have because they are afraid to not give, or they spend the money they do have in a way that doesn’t bring them joy. They do what they “should” do over and over again until they can no longer remember what they want to do.

That’s crap. Stop trying to survive. Take back your life. The holidays are for living, for thriving, for loving… just like every single other time of the year.

If you’re not enjoying your life, or your holidays, I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way.

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Read more: Christmas, Hanukkah, Holidays, Holidays & Gifts, Mental Wellness, Self-Help, Spirit, Thanksgiving, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

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Christy Diane Farr

Christy Diane Farr is a catalyst. If that sounds like something you want more of in your life, visit 'The Greenhouse' at and join the Wildflower Evolution on Facebook.


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5:37PM PST on Nov 23, 2013

Great piece. Thanks for sharing.

8:18AM PST on Nov 23, 2012

nice photo :-)

8:01PM PST on Nov 22, 2012

A most welcome reminder, thanks.

5:39AM PDT on Jun 5, 2012

Thanks for the article.

5:37AM PST on Dec 29, 2011

Thanks for the article.

11:01PM PST on Dec 8, 2011

I used to be so co-dependent that I ended up in the mental hospital diagnosed "Multiple Personality Disorder"

I've come a long way, baby!

I got dismissed from the Mental Health System because 3 doctors said I was healed. I mean, when my Higher Power ZAPPED me over 3 years ago, he set everything to rights. HP did guide me through doing much of it myself.

My HP will not allow me to be co-dependent on HIM LOL Atheists who claim we Christians are just ducking out of our problems don't know MY HP. He guides me, teaches me and expect me to apply what I learn. My HP has one rule for me: LOVE and do what you will.

When I was co-dependent, people used to tell me, "Just be yourself."

I had no idea who myself was. Probably some mousey, inadequate, no common sense
dud who couldn't do anything right!

I've been free of co-dependency for over 3 years now. I have learned who I am. I'm sure not perfect and that's fine with me. I've got lots of room to grow in every way 'cept fat. lol I love me just the way I am, wrinkles and all. .

My numerous faults are a delightful challenge. I am not a "no talent blah"

People tell me the same things about myself that I see in me. I listen to them and believe them when they describe me as Cool! .I do not have to be PERFECT. I'm soul being human.

If I could be anyone in the whole world, including other dimensions, know what , "I choose me." lol

Oh, gee whizz!
What a relief it is.

I know who I am and it's not m

8:32AM PST on Dec 1, 2011

Thanks for the article

12:04PM PST on Nov 27, 2011

FANTASTIC!! Thank you so much for sending this message of sanity. This is exactly what I needed to read.

2:09PM PST on Nov 26, 2011

Wonderful reminder....

11:16AM PST on Nov 25, 2011

Beautifully said, as usual – I so appreciate the clear, deep understanding you have of these dynamics, their organic workings in our psyches. After 2 years of deeply intentional, absolutely necessary work to heal my patterns of paralyzing anxiety and self-sabotage, I had a new shift this past week around a lifelong experience of shame and guilt; I felt a part of my consciousness actually "wake up". And I understand the codependent part of all this so well ... the reacting in order to feel safe, which counters the natural sense of Self.

Thank you for stating and naming these patterns with such clarity, and for your rooted, fierce compassion that adds an extra dose of "permission" to our journeys to just Be Ourselves, no explanations required.

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so cute, cant stop laughing

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