Rule Two: Ask for what you need.
If you want to decorate the tree, tell the people you live with that you want help decorating the tree. If they are unavailable to help, then decide if you want it bad enough to recruit a friend to help you, or to do it alone. If you don’t, for the love of all things glittery, do not hold your decision against everyone else.
Just don’t do it. Just admit that you don’t have the time or energy or patience, and don’t decorate the tree. And if the idea of not doing it is absolutely unbearable, then say no to something else and honor yourself.
Our needs are our responsibility.
Forgive me, if that’s old news to you but I promise that when everybody gets it, I will quit saying it. And until then, it’s important enough to repeat. Ask for what you need.
This might mean staying home instead of attending the third holiday event this week. It might mean buying green beans from the Chinese buffet on the way to your mother-in-law’s house, dumping them into a fancy baking dish, and reheating them before the big, serious family dinner because you dropped the ball on buying fresh ones before the stores closed Christmas Eve (a gift from my second marriage).
It might mean taking a nap.
What would the holidays be like if you spoke of your needs, simply and directly, and the people around you could just respond, simply and directly, with the truth about whether they can meet that need or not? What would it be like it everybody quit trying to be everything for everyone and you got to put yourself first on the list? What would happen if you didn’t do what you didn’t want to do?
It sounds like a Cody-Free holiday to me.