Love is the one treasure that multiplies by division. You can give it away, throw it away, empty your pockets, shake the basket, turn the glass upside down, and tomorrow you will have more than ever.  –Unknown

Our breasts cushion our heart. As our hardest working organ, our heart never sleeps, beating over two billion times in a life time and circulating 50 million gallons of blood. Impossible to think that one could ever take this organ for granted, but so constant is the heart, we rarely celebrate its function or recognize its needs.

Hearts that perform best are dosed with generous amounts of love and can bear the thrill of new romance as well as the tragedy of loss with equanimity. They strain under repressed emotion and isolation. Studies show both more stable heart health and increased longevity in the context of sustained loving relationships. Hearts need to be heard.

A couple of days after my last column, I was walking my dogs in the nearby park when I passed another woman walking her dog. We exchanged greetings and decided to let our dogs off leash for a run together. I noticed her cap covering her bald head and asked if she was over the treatments yet. Hers was ovarian, though most people assumed she had breast cancer. More insidious still, ovarian cancer leaves almost no symptoms to alert the victim. She shared her history and illness. “Last month was national ovarian cancer month; most people don’t know,” she added.

The conversation warmed the brisk morning fog and the dogs ran. Having already revealed my occupation, I asked her if she was having an intimate life, adding that it was perhaps the most life affirming activity she could pursue. She laughed and said her doctor had already prescribed the same at least once per week. It is important both physically–to remind the tissue how to relax and open–and emotionally–to soak in being deeply loved; we agreed making love was curative.

I offered our organic lubricant solutions and shared how her sense of smell could help to awaken her libido. Giving her a handful of products felt like a privilege. It was a moment when giving felt like receiving, a place that I search for in life. After spending the day fasting yesterday, on the Jewish high holy day of Yom Kippur, (the day of reckoning for Jewish people everywhere), I realized that the places that nourish me have everything to do with generosity. I am fed by the moments when giving feels automatic and easy. The times when I want something back for what I give, whether it is recognition or advantage, do little to nourish me and do not really feel like true giving.

Giving on empty isn’t really giving at all. I was troubled during my introspection to admit to myself how much of my daily doing falls into this category. The spiritual paradox that Mother Theresa embodied and espoused is true: “If you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” Finding this place where generosity is true, without judgment about the receiver’s capacity or intention, enriches us even when we give up our time and resources, because momentarily it transforms and deepens our connection to what is most human in all of us. Being generous is like weight lifting for the heart. An exercise that keeps us all well.

Wendy Strgar is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships, which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love and family. She helps couples tackle the questions and concerns of intimacy and relationships, providing honest answers and innovative advice. As her online presence continues to grow, Wendy has become a trusted and respected source of information on lasting and healthy relationships.