Dating "Newness"

This is Part 8 of the series, Breaking the Dysfunctional Dating Cycle & Find Love. As always, I am going to strongly recommend that if you are just joining us to please read the first 7 articles. Click here to read all the previous articles.

I received a phone call this week from a friend who was quite upset. She had a few dates with a man that she felt very hopeful and excited about and then all the red flags started showing up. This was a huge disappointment to her. She was beginning to feel as if perhaps this could go somewhere, but when the deal-breaking behavior started showing up, she knew that was her signal.

Although she was sad about things not working out with this man, she could clearly see at that very moment that this was not going to work with him. There was an understanding that this man had a different face but the same negative traits she had previously encountered. It was time to cut her losses and move on.

This very scenario happened to me countless times over and over again until I finally learned a few important ways to get through this with minimal drama.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Shawn R.

8:11AM PST on Feb 20, 2011

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send a green star

Jewels S.

3:34PM PDT on Sep 30, 2010

These articles have been spot on. Luckily I figured most out already but it is great validation. I found what worked for me. I have taken the expectation out of the equation. If I am having fun and meeting people I admire as well. If the person sends me into too much of chaotic state it is not a good sign. It is fun and flashy for a while but will be too much drama for me. My spirit leads me to who I need to learn from. It is not always for the reason of finding someone to be with for the rest of my life. Now that I do that I can enjoy the first three months and am not disappointed when it wears off and we can just be.

Ruth R.

1:51AM PDT on Sep 22, 2010

another good story

Quanta K.

9:56PM PDT on Sep 6, 2010

sound advice!

Catherine C.

3:44PM PDT on Sep 6, 2010

Thanks! Yes.. funny- but 3 months seems to be the omg- this guy is great or.. wow- I never saw that coming... I see it as having dating angels with me... red flags- I watch and have learned to trust me. But not without a few tears and wounds to lick along the way... it is all good. I think when it is right- we know. No one is perfect but when you can mesh the differences and they are not red flags - this is the trick. But rushing in you never get to know.. it becomes more of a sex date than really finding that soul to touch yours..
In my humble opinion of course.. LOL!
Happy dating to us all!! Single of course...
xoxoxox

Sloan J.

3:13AM PDT on Sep 4, 2010

nice

Jane R.

3:09PM PDT on Sep 1, 2010

Easier said than done.

Betty C.

1:35PM PDT on Sep 1, 2010

Very good advice.

Lanie L.

6:33AM PDT on Sep 1, 2010

I'm with Trudi Gray..
My take is stay celibate for a while.. take your time to really know the person. Hold on to your values, it will be less painful than going from one relationship to another being intimate, getting 'hooked,' only to discover you are wrong for each other. If relationships are taken too lightly, on the physical side of things we perpetuate the breakup syndrome, and where pregnancy is involved, too many children living with one parent or the other, in a struggling world.

johan l.

12:05AM PDT on Sep 1, 2010

A strong woman is like a precious and beautiful pearl. Very scarce!
If more women were like this, we would have far less miserableness!
Even after she feels that she has now met the right man and gets married, just look at the percentage of divorces.
On most occasions there are kids involved too!
Ladies, as a man I must warn you that if you are attractive and have a good figure, 99% of men just want to get you into bed!
This does not mean that they will drop you like a hot potato afterwards, but it should let alarmbells start ringing.
So if you possibly can, if the man insists he loves you but you can see what his intentions are, be very, very careful!