START A PETITION 25,136,189 members: the world's largest community for good
START A PETITION
x

Dealing With “Haters”

Dealing With “Haters”

I read an article written by David Wong on Cracked.com called “6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person.” One of the main points the author made was to do something, anything that could be of service to humanity in some way, no matter how small. But beware of haters. Any time you embark on trying to build or create something, there’s going to be people out there that don’t want you to succeed, and who may even try to sabotage your plans.

“Whatever you try to build or create be it a poem, or a new skill, or a new relationship you will find yourself immediately surrounded by non-creators who trash it” (Wong).

This really hit home for me because I’m someone who creates things, and I’ve had my share of dealing with haters. As a writer, I put my work out for the public eye to view. A lot of the time, people are respectful. They either comment about enjoying what they’ve read, or if not, offer some constructive feedback. But every so often, I get feedback that isn’t so pleasant or constructive. In a writing workshop in college, one of the other students had commented on a story I wrote, describing it as “a bad episode of Friends.” Although the student was straightforward about how they felt, this particular statement doesn’t give any constructive feedback on how to make the story better.

Laura Preble, award winning writer and teacher, is not immune from the criticism of haters. Preble is in the process of writing a novel titled Out, in which homosexuality is the norm, and heterosexuals are the minority, and are criminalized. Homosexuals run the government, and have close ties with a powerful religious organization. In this tale, Chris Bryant, the son of a powerful minister and Carmen, a girl from a high social family, fall in love and challenge the traditions of their society.

My first reaction to reading the synopsis was that it’s a unique idea. The author is switching the societal positions of heterosexuals and homosexuals in order to get readers to sympathize with what homosexuals in our society have to deal with. A heterosexual person who reads this can put themselves in the shoes of the main characters. What if heterosexuals were the minority? What if the church believed that heterosexuality was wrong? And society wanted to rehabilitate them so that they would be homosexual like the rest of civilization? What if you risked getting yourself killed for falling in love with someone of the opposite sex?

After reading the synopsis, I thought the story idea was clever, but not everyone shared the same view. Some people misconstrued what the story was all about, and Preble got some harsh criticism from people who thought she was gay bashing.

Preble responded to the criticism in her blog: “This is interesting, especially considering the fact that the intent was the exact opposite. OUT is intended to allow people to step into the shoes of those oppressed, to get a visceral feeling for what it’s like to be ostracized because of who you are. It’s not condoning discriminatory behavior; on the contrary, it’s calling it out for what it is.” Preble believes those people have misinterpreted what the book’s message is. Since the book is not out yet, there’s only a brief description of the book to tell readers what it’s about, and for whatever reason, maybe people got confused. She urges those people to read the book in its entirety when it becomes available, and then formulate an opinion, but not beforehand.

In “6 Harsh Truths That Will make You a Better Person,” Wong says, “Just remember, [haters are] only expressing their own fear, since trashing other people’s work is another excuse to do nothing.” He also says, “It’s so much easier [for haters] to just sit back and criticize other people’s creations.” So next time you’re worried about putting yourself out there, putting your projects or creations out for all to see and judge, don’t let the fear of rejection or judgment stop you from your goals. You’re doing something, contributing something to the world. Even if not everybody gets it, someone may get it. It has value. Even if its a failed attempt, it has value. A failed attempt is better than no attempt. We won’t get better at something unless we try, and even fail. And if what you put out is of excellent quality, someone will criticize you anyway (as in Preble’s case).

Read more: Career, Community, Community Service, Do Good, Fun, General Health, Global Healing, Guidance, Inspiration, Life, Make a Difference, Mental Wellness, Peace, Self-Help, Spirit, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

have you shared this story yet?

go ahead, give it a little love

Aimee Dansereau

Aimee Dansereau is a freelance writer living in San Diego, California. She once lived in Boulder, Colorado for several years, where she received an M.F.A. in Writing and Poetics at Naropa University. Her interests include writing, natural health and medicine, organic foods and the labeling of GMOs, spirituality, yoga, meditation, environmental issues, and human rights.

100 comments

+ add your own
10:12AM PDT on May 23, 2013

worthy of contemplation

8:20PM PDT on May 8, 2013

noted

10:34PM PDT on Mar 18, 2013

Haters and envious people are everywhere and so are people with tall poppy syndrome.
I have had my share of haters for no apparent reason. I do not argue as that inflames them and they want to yell even louder. They look like the loser, not I, they are actually bullies. Bullies can come in all shapes and sizes, ages and cultures. There is no line in the sand at all but in a crowd and them going off the deep end with their perhaps odd point of view and its good to be different but its not okay to scream and rant to push your point of view. That's harassment and bullying and ultimately hateful. I just walk away so they can shout louder and louder to show how stupid and ignorant they really are. I dont put up with that at all.

8:46AM PST on Feb 27, 2013

Jesus and Gandhi both had their share of haters. Usually it is because you are perceived as a threat...you rock the power and stability of their world, which consists entirely of "ME." More often than not, it is a sign that you are doing something RIGHT.

4:45AM PST on Feb 25, 2013

That is so true. Just be yourself, that's what I always remind myself. If I know that I'm true to myself and doing the best I can (attempting, as you say, even if it comes to failure), than there's nothing for me to feel bad about if someone has a non-constructive criticism. If it is constructive--the better for me, I will learn from my mistakes. But, trying to understand the haters will help you forgive them, as you will see that they are probably repeating what's been done to them, they most likely feel insecure so lowering someone makes them feel bigger. Or it's just their limiting beliefs, whatever it is, just remember that you are better than that, and set your face like flint :). They can make you feel bad only if you let them.

5:41AM PST on Jan 31, 2013

Love the article and ignore the haters!!!

8:48PM PST on Jan 22, 2013

PAUSE AND REFLECT

10:13AM PST on Jan 22, 2013

Great article! It's funny; I've actually had the concept of a very similar novel idea to Out of my own. I even thought about it recently, but it's one of very few ideas, which never fit in with the rest of my universe. I'm glad that someone will be approaching this idea, though it doesn't surprise me that some people wouldn't "get" what the book is really trying to say.

10:17PM PST on Jan 18, 2013

Justice has a very valid point, though it may perhaps been better presented in not-capslock. Just a suggestion.

I'm not sure the case mentioned necessarily calls people haters simply because they hold a belief that homosexuality is wrong, more that people misconstrued the message and got angry and hateful over nothing. Of course, that goes back to Justice's point anyway. If people would just listen to each other and respect each other, then there really isn't any problem with having different opinions. In the case of homosexuality, I know people who are very religious and don't think it's right, but also don't think it's fair to attack people because of it. It's not about what the opinion is, it's how that opinion is put forth.

3:06PM PST on Jan 18, 2013

This is very true! Thanks for reflections upon this topic.

add your comment



Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

All the solutions for the "mistakes" we as patient might make stress the strengthening and execution…

Thanks for sharing the exceptionally interesting list.

Why do people trust their brains to pharmaceutical companies or chemical pesticide/herbicide neuroto…

CONTACT THE EDITORS



Select names from your address book   |   Help
   

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.