Dealing With “Haters”

I read an article written by David Wong on Cracked.com called “6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person.” One of the main points the author made was to do something, anything that could be of service to humanity in some way, no matter how small. But beware of haters. Any time you embark on trying to build or create something, there’s going to be people out there that don’t want you to succeed, and who may even try to sabotage your plans.

“Whatever you try to build or create be it a poem, or a new skill, or a new relationship you will find yourself immediately surrounded by non-creators who trash it” (Wong).

This really hit home for me because I’m someone who creates things, and I’ve had my share of dealing with haters. As a writer, I put my work out for the public eye to view. A lot of the time, people are respectful. They either comment about enjoying what they’ve read, or if not, offer some constructive feedback. But every so often, I get feedback that isn’t so pleasant or constructive. In a writing workshop in college, one of the other students had commented on a story I wrote, describing it as “a bad episode of Friends.” Although the student was straightforward about how they felt, this particular statement doesn’t give any constructive feedback on how to make the story better.

Laura Preble, award winning writer and teacher, is not immune from the criticism of haters. Preble is in the process of writing a novel titled Out, in which homosexuality is the norm, and heterosexuals are the minority, and are criminalized. Homosexuals run the government, and have close ties with a powerful religious organization. In this tale, Chris Bryant, the son of a powerful minister and Carmen, a girl from a high social family, fall in love and challenge the traditions of their society.

My first reaction to reading the synopsis was that it’s a unique idea. The author is switching the societal positions of heterosexuals and homosexuals in order to get readers to sympathize with what homosexuals in our society have to deal with. A heterosexual person who reads this can put themselves in the shoes of the main characters. What if heterosexuals were the minority? What if the church believed that heterosexuality was wrong? And society wanted to rehabilitate them so that they would be homosexual like the rest of civilization? What if you risked getting yourself killed for falling in love with someone of the opposite sex?

After reading the synopsis, I thought the story idea was clever, but not everyone shared the same view. Some people misconstrued what the story was all about, and Preble got some harsh criticism from people who thought she was gay bashing.

Preble responded to the criticism in her blog: “This is interesting, especially considering the fact that the intent was the exact opposite. OUT is intended to allow people to step into the shoes of those oppressed, to get a visceral feeling for what it’s like to be ostracized because of who you are. It’s not condoning discriminatory behavior; on the contrary, it’s calling it out for what it is.” Preble believes those people have misinterpreted what the book’s message is. Since the book is not out yet, there’s only a brief description of the book to tell readers what it’s about, and for whatever reason, maybe people got confused. She urges those people to read the book in its entirety when it becomes available, and then formulate an opinion, but not beforehand.

In “6 Harsh Truths That Will make You a Better Person,” Wong says, “Just remember, [haters are] only expressing their own fear, since trashing other people’s work is another excuse to do nothing.” He also says, “It’s so much easier [for haters] to just sit back and criticize other people’s creations.” So next time you’re worried about putting yourself out there, putting your projects or creations out for all to see and judge, don’t let the fear of rejection or judgment stop you from your goals. You’re doing something, contributing something to the world. Even if not everybody gets it, someone may get it. It has value. Even if its a failed attempt, it has value. A failed attempt is better than no attempt. We won’t get better at something unless we try, and even fail. And if what you put out is of excellent quality, someone will criticize you anyway (as in Preble’s case).

105 comments

Jessica K.
Jessica K.7 months ago

One thing I've discovered is not to take what haters say personally. Generally if they're doing it to me, they'll do it to someone else just as easily.

I do think it's good to be wary, though. If it's just peaceful but forceful speech, then it's just words. But some haters are more destructive than that, albeit rarely, and it's good to protect what you've worked so hard to achieve. No one has to put up with abuse just because some people can't express themselves with maturity and kindness. Thanks.

Marion Friedl
Marion Friedl11 months ago

Haters are only jealous and hate themselves the most, just ingore such idiots and concentrate on your own skills!!!
And about haters and trolls on FB pages or on your profile, like those who send you mean PMs like it happened to me several times yet: you have the ability to block/ban them...

Tanya W.
Tanya W.11 months ago

Be the best version of you that you can be and bugger them all!!!

Tanya W.
Tanya W.11 months ago

Ta

Elena Poensgen
Elena Poensgen11 months ago

Thank you

JL A.
JL A.3 years ago

worthy of contemplation

Camilla Vaga
Camilla Vaga3 years ago

noted

Summerannie Moon
Summerannie M.3 years ago

Haters and envious people are everywhere and so are people with tall poppy syndrome.
I have had my share of haters for no apparent reason. I do not argue as that inflames them and they want to yell even louder. They look like the loser, not I, they are actually bullies. Bullies can come in all shapes and sizes, ages and cultures. There is no line in the sand at all but in a crowd and them going off the deep end with their perhaps odd point of view and its good to be different but its not okay to scream and rant to push your point of view. That's harassment and bullying and ultimately hateful. I just walk away so they can shout louder and louder to show how stupid and ignorant they really are. I dont put up with that at all.

Lydia Weissmuller Price

Jesus and Gandhi both had their share of haters. Usually it is because you are perceived as a threat...you rock the power and stability of their world, which consists entirely of "ME." More often than not, it is a sign that you are doing something RIGHT.

Ema M.
Ema M.3 years ago

That is so true. Just be yourself, that's what I always remind myself. If I know that I'm true to myself and doing the best I can (attempting, as you say, even if it comes to failure), than there's nothing for me to feel bad about if someone has a non-constructive criticism. If it is constructive--the better for me, I will learn from my mistakes. But, trying to understand the haters will help you forgive them, as you will see that they are probably repeating what's been done to them, they most likely feel insecure so lowering someone makes them feel bigger. Or it's just their limiting beliefs, whatever it is, just remember that you are better than that, and set your face like flint :). They can make you feel bad only if you let them.