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Do We Have The Courage To Grow And Change?

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Do We Have The Courage To Grow And Change?

It was not my intention to write a 9/11 piece this year but this morning, I read a few of the many that are floating about and nothing quite hit the spot in my heart. I went searching for the one I wrote last year and, frankly, was surprised to find that it feels more true today than it did when I wrote it. If you’ve already read it, please excuse the repetition. I offer what follows in the spirit of love and healing for ourselves, all people, and our beautiful planet…
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Yes, of course I remember 9/11. Without even closing my eyes, I can experience every single detail of that day as if I’m walking through it again right now. For two weeks straight, I’ve had one foot in today and the other in that day, since I first realized the deadline for a tenth anniversary piece was upon me. I’ve tried and failed to write something poignant a hundred times since then, but slipping in and out of that day feels strangely comforting. It’s like running into an old friend who was there when a part of me died.

I still don’t know what to say about it. But I know that I’ve never before felt so much, had so much to say, and been at such a profound loss for words. Instead, I stumble through a lifetime of memories, measuring and sorting, trying to find a way to make sense of this state I’m in, of this state we are all in. It’s been ten years, perhaps the longest and shortest ten years in history. Now, we’re here–looking back and also forward.

I was once with a woman when the doctor told her that her husband–who she thought was in the process of recovering from a heart attack–was dead. I watched the shock roll through her body, mercilessly exposing her soul to the grief that all but consumed her that night and in the months and probably years that followed. Much died that night–her husband, her daughter’s father, the second child they were trying to conceive, the future, certainty, security… and I imagine many other things I can’t conceive of.

I’ve lost things too, mostly innocence. I’ve lost the belief that people my age don’t die, unless there is some sort of drunk driving incident or other freak accident. I’ve lost the belief that eating irresponsibly won’t cost you your life until you are old. Some time ago now, I lost the belief that my husband leaving while I was still pregnant with our second child was a damn tragedy. Then in the hospital with the woman that night, I met tragedy in a whole new way, and it rocked my world.

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Christy Diane Farr

Christy Diane Farr is a catalyst. If that sounds like something you want more of in your life, visit 'The Greenhouse' at SeedsAndWeedsCoaching.com and join the Wildflower Evolution on Facebook.

11 comments

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7:53AM PDT on Sep 16, 2012

Thanks

5:11AM PDT on Sep 12, 2012

thanks Christy

on the courage topic from Yogananda (includes courage affirmations):

"How to Have Courage, Calmness, and Confidence
by Paramhansa Yogananda"

selected bits of text:


"Affirmations for Courage
There is a right solution to every problem. I have within me the wisdom and intelligence to see this solution, and the courage and energy to carry it through.

God is within me and around me, protecting me, so I banish the gloom of fear that shuts out His guiding light and makes me stumble into ditches of error."

http://www.anandaclaritymagazine.com/2010/03/yogananda-meditation-yoga-god/

8:49PM PDT on Sep 11, 2012

meditation & yoga conection yes! possible :)

6:06PM PDT on Sep 11, 2012

Thanks for the share!

5:57PM PDT on Sep 11, 2012

go forward with hope.....thanks....

5:29PM PDT on Sep 11, 2012

Thanks.

4:29PM PDT on Sep 11, 2012

We have to move foward in life but at the same time we need to be aware of the laws of nature and respect the fact that there are limits in how good life can be.

1:15PM PDT on Sep 11, 2012

thank u!

12:46PM PDT on Sep 11, 2012

We do but the thing is that our environment doesn't let us to. We all made an illusion of unchangeable lives, sense of stableness which doesn't involve the nature. We just forgot about nature and its laws. This makes us feel we're ruling the world and we're immortal as well.

12:30PM PDT on Sep 11, 2012

thank you for sharing

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