Do You Avoid Your Emotions?

Emotions are a natural part of human life. If we are working towards a healthy relationship with ourselves, it is essential that we learn to embrace them. Most of us from an early age have learnt that certain emotions are “bad” or inappropriate: maybe we were told not to cry, or never to get angry. But by denying these feelings, we don’t rid ourselves of them: when an emotion is ignored, it stagnates with us, building up and contributing to the accumulated charge of repressed feelings. With time, these emotions become distorted: anger becomes hatred or resentment, eventually exploding in fits of rage and violence; sadness becomes depression.

We only need look at a child to see how natural emotions are. Children get angry and sad with spontaneous ease, yet they have an innate ability to find joy and entertainment everywhere; the world for them is a magical place, and where as adults we would only find boredom, they are capable of discovering wonderment. This is precisely because they don’t deny any aspect of their emotional spectrum. They embrace all of its hues without judgement, as natural parts of the human experience. As a result, when anger comes, it is intense, but short lived: five minutes later, they have completely forgotten what they were angry about, absorbed in the excitement of a new moment, the next discovery.

Sometimes, when we are on the spiritual path, we apply the same “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” of our childhood conditioning to our process of growth: we try to box ourselves into an image of the “good” boy or girl – an image that is not so far removed from the expectations placed upon us by our parents and our society. The quest for unconditional love becomes a way of behaving: we try to emulate the actions of love and compassion, without first becoming those experiences. This eventually leads to more resentment and frustration, for how can you embrace another in their perfection if you still see yourself as imperfect? How can you be compassionate if you do not know yourself? In trying to break free from the confines of our past limitations, we jump into a new box, sometimes even more rigid than the one before.

In order to experience our divinity, we must first embrace our humanity. In order to love unconditionally, we must first discover our own perfection. Embrace your anger, embrace your sadness: it is not through denial that you will be free of them, but through acceptance. By allowing yourself to feel the accumulated charge, you free up space within yourself. Space to be, space to love, space to discover who you truly are.

Isha Judd will be touring Europe in April 2010, presenting her latest book and movie, Why Walk When You Can Fly? which explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness. Learn more at www.whywalkwhenyoucanfly.com

101 comments

W. C
W. Cyesterday

Thanks.

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William C
William Cyesterday

Thank you for the information.

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Nichoel Z.
Nichoel Z6 years ago

beautiful

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Edie C.
Edie C.6 years ago

I just realized that if something happens that irritates me and I think the Facet...Thank Love For My Human Experience...it makes me laugh LOL... because it sounds crazy...but before now.. I resisted the Facet...but laughing gives me the space to let go of the feeling in my body and the space to work through it... Thanks again ISHA :))

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Robert O.
Robert O6 years ago

Sometimes I avoid my emotions to avoid offending others or making myself look unmanly, immature or low class which is what my mother taught me about how men look when they show emotion, especially negative emotion. In a sense she thinksmen shoud look and act stoic no matter what. Needless to say I'm trying to evolve from that backwards way of thinking. There's nothing wrong with showing emotion. Like the article said: "
But by denying these feelings, we don’t rid ourselves of them: when an emotion is ignored, it stagnates with us, building up and contributing to the accumulated charge of repressed feelings. With time, these emotions become distorted: anger becomes hatred or resentment, eventually exploding in fits of rage and violence; sadness becomes depression." I have suffered with bouts of be-olic and living with depression an frustration as a result of distorted unexpressed, unvisited emotions and I can tell you it's unhealthy and destructive. Thanks so much for this article!

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Mimi Natural
Mimi Natural7 years ago

Thank you for sharing.

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Belle B.
.7 years ago

I do avoid my emotions sometimes primarily because at times it may not be suitable for the situation. So I just keep it to myself and be hurt than be able to hurt others.Thanks!

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Tammy Ng
Tammy Ng7 years ago

sometimes, i hide my emotions because my friends are not paying attention to me. even though i share my feelings with them, they are not going to give me any advice. then, i won't share my feelings with anybody. that's really tiring!

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Rosemary Stephen
rosemary Stephen7 years ago

i have problems with my parents and ive tried to talk to them but it was getting me nowhere. it got to the stage my children would not visit them because they were always being hurt emotionally as my parents favour one set of granchildren over another. when we tried to tell them how hurt we felt we were accused of creating drama and my son was told to toughen up in an extremely nasty way(he was 5 at the time). it got to the stage where i had to make a choice mine and my childrens happiness or living with the hurt. i no longer contact my parents and have asked them to stop contacting me till they are ready to treat us with respect i had to change my number as they kept calling accusing me of being selfish and useless etc etc. but i have found that even though it hurt to cut them out our life we are happier and dont get angry and frustrated at them now i just feel pity for my parents they have missed out on a great gift the love of 2 beautiful loving intelligent children so even though it was hard. paying attention to my familys emotions has been good for us. the main problem with my parents i think is that ive encouraged my children to be open to there emotions while the rest of my family repress them and they arent happy with there lives

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Rosemary H.
Rosemary H7 years ago

Now what do you think would have happened if someone had overheard my remark in the last post, feared an argument, and come out with the standard cliche: 'Just ignore it!'

You've guessed....more of the same abuse...

But what became of me because I learned to stand up for myself? Since I could defend myself against people who hurt me, I no longer felt nervous about meeting people. I am now such a cheerful friendly extrovert that people can grasp the fact I was shy until I learned to defend myself if necessary! That means I've been able to make a lot of people very much happier than I would have done if I'd been repressed and too inhibited to 'make a fuss!' And they've made me happier too!

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