Hurt isolates us. When you suffer, you suffer privately, no matter how close someone else may be to you. Some people react to this isolation by becoming even more alone. They nurse their grievances in silence. They gain a sense of strength from toughing it out alone.
Other people react in the opposite way, wanting to pull as many people into their suffering as possible.
Both tactics defy the first law of healing, which is that it must occur within yourself. This isnít the same as going it alone or toughing it out. Thatís the egoís interpretation, and if you look a bit deeper, youíll find that whatís really going on is resistance. The ego is saying, I donít deserve to have this happen. Iím going to sit tight until someone notices and takes pity on me.
We all have ego reactions, and they must be overcome. If you face them for what they are, temporary energies that block your true self, you will realize that calling on your true self–the soul, higher consciousness, deeper awareness–will begin to move these obstacles out of the way.
When you gain access to your true self, even a little bit, you will feel connected once again.
Of course other people can be a comfort and a help along the way. As you reconnect with yourself, you will reconnect with other people spontaneously since they are a mirror of your self.
But depending on others to solve your problems never works, because even though you may feel connected to them, you are really reaching out as one ego to another.
Healing doesnít take place at the level of ego, however, and no matter how much sympathy and agreement you are surrounded by, no matter how many people tell you that you are right, you havenít removed the blocks that keep new life from rushing in to heal you.
Adapted from: Peace Is the Way, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2005).