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Do You Feel Loved?

Do You Feel Loved?

Love is experienced in relationship. Without someone to love you, the feelings of love – the warmth in a mother’s heart, the gladness of friendship, the excitement of intimacy – have no stimulus. That is why the commonest image for being unloved is being alone.

When you are alone, there seems to be no relationship. People who find themselves alone rarely feel any incentive to explore love. They await contact with another person or run out to seek it. Thus we become dependent on other people to make us feel totally and permanently loved.

This expectation will, however, always be defeated, and although we blame those who failed to respond to us, who responded but then left, who stayed but then changed their minds, none of them is finally the cause of our problem. The cause is our inability to develop an unshakable relationship with ourselves. The Self is the source of love. People who live their own love stories have learned this lesson above all.

The absence of love is as devastating as its presence is beneficial. We will have to assume, unfortunately, that most people are not living a love story right now. Even those who say they are most deeply in love may be deluding themselves, at least in part.

Once it has grown to fullness, a love based on spirit has no fear of being wounded. Imperfect forms of love are much more vulnerable. Almost everyone has asked for love and received rejection instead. The effect of rejection, failure, humiliation, and other traumas is to numb one’s feelings.

Love requires sensitivity. It must have openness. Whatever has numbed you makes it much harder for you to feel love. Therefore people who are numb at the emotional level cannot live their love stories.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).

Read more: Deepak Chopra's Tips, Spirit, , , ,

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.

107 comments

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5:37AM PDT on Aug 2, 2012

I have the love of god and I love myself, so I feel loved and blessed

10:11AM PDT on Jul 24, 2012

I feel loved(:

8:40AM PST on Jan 3, 2012

In the end, it is about remaining open to the potential of the relationship. Movement towards their healing can be accomplished with your energetic support. The hard part is recognizing that it is their path and you cannot do it for them.

So awaken each day with a bright perspective. By seeing their energy potential and believing they can heal can do wonders for their progress.

Relationships are an intricate essence of your own advancement. Look at them through your spiritual eyes. It will help you in your understanding of yourself and them."

-VERONICA

8:38AM PST on Jan 3, 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012 My offering to all of you is today's message from VERONICA from Inner Whispers for your pleasure

Awaken Your Relationships

"In life one makes and participates in many relationships. Some flow easily while others become and remain difficult.

It is important to be constant with your energy while engaging in a relationship. Like any other living being, they require attention. Be of good cheer with them whenever possible. Allow unconditional love to flow even with the difficult ones.

As the sun rises each day, decide that it is going to be a good one. Embrace those about you as you would embrace yourself. Thus the reason for the good day and opinion of the self.

We understand that most of you cringe when asked to embrace the difficult. Attempt to take a good look at their core while realizing that perhaps it is merely armor that they wear. While moving from one life experience to another, many bring baggage that causes their behavior to be erratic.

It is not necessary to sacrifice your energy in the relationship. It is important, however, to see their soul. Often it is damaged.

It is not for you to repair the damage. It is for them alone to do so . You can love unconditionally while remaining at a safe distance for your own well being.

In the end, it is about remaining open to the potential of the relationship. Movement towa

6:34AM PST on Dec 7, 2010

How can one feel loved if love doesn't exist?

10:44AM PST on Dec 6, 2010

Buen articulo

10:43AM PST on Dec 6, 2010

Buen articulo

9:27AM PST on Nov 14, 2010

Sweet Inez I'm so sorry for your suffering. If you have to fight for it ,to me, it doesn't seem worthwhile. This is the way he has chosen to be and you are better rid of him, of course this doesn't mean that the love has never been true but we are always changing. May your changes lead you to happiness and well-being.

6:09AM PST on Nov 14, 2010

Hello Uma,

thanks for your reply! It is not that I have the feeling that I am nothing or having nothing without his love, I've never been such a person who needs somebody else to be 'whole'. But I thought that he was my best friend, the one who cared for me so much when I had my darkest hours during the first years of my depressions and anxiety, but in reality he always looked for a way to fulfill his masculin needs. I thought he'd wait with me until times get better. He didn't.
Two weeks ago I had a severe relapse after years of being very stable. It is worse than in the beginning, because my body is tired after taking all this medication, having all the side effects, and each day there is so much pain in so many parts of my body, and I get to exhausted whenever I try working or doing something. I'm a wreck, physically and psychically, and I'm tired of fighting. I did nothing else but fighting all my life, and if it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't be here anymore.
It is not the feeling of being powerless, but the feeling of being worn out. If I'd be healthier I'd fight for my marriage, but I just don't have any strength left. That's why I've chosen to give up.

6:59AM PST on Nov 12, 2010

Inez I think that one reason so many people blame themselves in a situation like this is a sense that it's better to be guilty than powerless though other people make choices that create irrevocable change. You can't command trust. It's there or not and the result of past experience. His betrayal turned you off to him. I think your mistake lies in your thinking that without HIS love you have and will have nothing. It's just that stubbornness again,not being able to bear the thought of having chosen him wrongly when in fact he chose to act outside of your agreements and that had nothing to do with your choice of being lovers with him. Change is ongoing and inescapable. People change to more togetherness or the other way . We must be honest with ourselves about how we are reacting to those changes. Perhaps the thought of continuing with him in the light of his choices makes your heart heavy. Simply ask yourself at each fork of the road if the direction considered will make your hear feel heavy or light; no matter how crazy, dangerous, or difficult, only go the way that will leave you light hearted and your choices will be right for all concerned. When you can't see the way trust and follow the weighing of your heart.It's so much better to enjoy your own company than be thrust into someone else' s vision as the result of desire and love gone sour.

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