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Do You Really Want Happiness?

Do You Really Want Happiness?

Unhappy people are always confused when they are told to try and be happy. Their minds are occupied by grievances; there seems to be no room for new experiences that might be uplifting, and even if they came along, they would be seen through the gray haze of one’s misery.

So the search cannot be for happy experiences. Those are already available in abundance. The search is for an opening that allows happiness to become your experience. This opening comes about very differently from the way most people suppose. Most people try to make themselves happy by forcing their unhappy feelings underground, or by turning their backs on them or pretending that they don’t exist.

If you have a closet stuffed with junk, the best way to find room for new stuff is to clean the closet. In this case the closet is the nervous system, and one cleans it out at the level of awareness.

Communicate your desire to be free of this hurt. Ask for inner guidance to The healing process isn’t mystical; it involves well-known practical steps. Look directly at what hurts you and let it show you what to do. Listen to what you feel, but don’t give in to it. Know for certain that you can remove old hurts. Be patient, since you will have to return to your old hurt many times.

Most people feel trapped by their resentments because their behavior runs counter to these steps. They don’t look honestly at their hurt but focus instead on blaming someone outside themselves. They don’t communicate a desire to let go of their anger but keep nursing it. Instead of listening to what they feel in the moment, they replay the same tired reactions from the past. Instead of being patient, they take a few stabs at healing only to conclude that there’s nothing to be done.

Adapted from: Peace Is the Way, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2005).

Read more: Deepak Chopra's Tips, Spirit, , , ,

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Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.

171 comments

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2:38PM PST on Jan 10, 2013

Finding inner peace is a good place to begin. Sometimes, there is too much hurt, anger and vindictiveness that one has to peel off to find some peace. Depression can probably be alleviated when one turns to a spiritual practise- as simple as counting your blessings, let go of hatred and anger. I know this is easier said than done, but take a few moment to reflect on your blessings rather than what you don't have. Feel the love and affection those around you are willing to share with you. Sometimes, you have to learn to live life from a place of gratitude and peace and let go of conflict and a desire to live a life of satisfying material consumerism. Everything we accumulate in this life will not mean a thing when we pass. Acknowledge what you have become, not what you have or have not done.

3:16PM PST on Dec 30, 2012

Happiness takes work. One is to give more than you receive. Give your support to those needed even if you feel like you don't have any for yourself.

9:35AM PST on Dec 30, 2012

Very interesting

3:24PM PDT on Apr 10, 2012

Stefanie that's just brilliant and it hits the nail right on the head, exactly. What those self help books forget to include is that once the desire is formed and we have put our whole heart and longing into reaching for it it can only manifest here after it has left our consciousness.

12:57AM PDT on Apr 10, 2012

One of the best ways I've found to make myself happy is to distract myself, which is often the complete opposite of what many self-help people would have me do. Mindfulness and acceptance only go so far to help with my debilitating mental illnesses. I'd rather forget about them for a while as I do something that occupies my mind, like watching YouTube videos about religion or competing in battlegrounds in World of Warcraft.

9:04AM PDT on Mar 26, 2012

Happiness is a portion of our emotional experience. It's one that is desirable but extremely personal as to the 'way' each of us feel it. For some, a friendly and loving connection with a friend can stir our happiness emotions. For another, it may be 'winning' something, that makes happiness bubble up! And happiness can be felt when looking at nature, stroking our pets, or resting peacefully after a day's activity. Happiness is subjective, and each of us are seeking our own personal way, towards greater happiness, I presume, and feel it as often as possible, for as has been stated by other commenters, there are limitations in our lives which can oppress our ability to experience happiness in the material-physical realm. However, the spiritual realm can find happiness outside the difficulties and injustices of our manifest world. [ book: Man's Search for Meaning, addresses this most powerfully ] And, from what I can understand about human relationships, it is this 'happiness connection' which bonds us to keep reconnecting for greater happiness and joy in living. (Often, money can by a temporary sense of happiness, but the long lasting happiness is formed in spiritual 'feelings' that are built over time and experience together, which money can only be an expression of gifts and such, but, for those who share pure spirit have as much 'happiness and gifts of feelings' to share which are not purchased thru economic status, but humanity's compassionate emotions)

4:02AM PDT on Mar 26, 2012

One thing I learned as a Recovery Support Speciaiist of many years, acceptance of "what is" is vital to recovery and happiness. It is the protesting that gives the pain. This is true of physical, emotional, mental pain. That's why hypnotism, which is dangerous because you give up your own control to another, that's why hypnotism works. Dentists can do tooth extraction, women can give birth with little if any pain through the hypnotized non-resistance to pain. Just accepting what is.

Once you accept, you can rationally form a plan of action to handle almost any life situation.

When I was young, adults would enjoy wiggling their fingers at children and saying "the tickle bugs are going to get you." And the tickle bugs did get you even before fingers touched your belly.

Suggestion! is the most powerful dark force in this bi-polar world.

2:41PM PDT on Mar 20, 2012

Happiness is not a state is a search

2:22PM PDT on Mar 20, 2012

Thank you!

1:31AM PDT on Mar 20, 2012

Unhappiness must be a heavy burden to carry around every day. I know one person who is unhappy most of the time and, worst of all, she inflicts her unhappiness on others every day.
That's just plain selfish and self-centred.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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