http://www.care2.com/greenliving/do-you-really-want-happiness.html
Do You Really Want Happiness?
Unhappy people are always confused when they are told to try and be happy. Their minds are occupied by grievances; there seems to be no room for new experiences that might be uplifting, and even if they came along, they would be seen through the gray haze of one’s misery.
So the search cannot be for happy experiences. Those are already available in abundance. The search is for an opening that allows happiness to become your experience. This opening comes about very differently from the way most people suppose. Most people try to make themselves happy by forcing their unhappy feelings underground, or by turning their backs on them or pretending that they don’t exist.
If you have a closet stuffed with junk, the best way to find room for new stuff is to clean the closet. In this case the closet is the nervous system, and one cleans it out at the level of awareness.
Communicate your desire to be free of this hurt. Ask for inner guidance to The healing process isn’t mystical; it involves well-known practical steps. Look directly at what hurts you and let it show you what to do. Listen to what you feel, but don’t give in to it. Know for certain that you can remove old hurts. Be patient, since you will have to return to your old hurt many times.
Most people feel trapped by their resentments because their behavior runs counter to these steps. They don’t look honestly at their hurt but focus instead on blaming someone outside themselves. They don’t communicate a desire to let go of their anger but keep nursing it. Instead of listening to what they feel in the moment, they replay the same tired reactions from the past. Instead of being patient, they take a few stabs at healing only to conclude that there’s nothing to be done.
Adapted from: Peace Is the Way, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2005).
More from Deepak Chopra (527 articles available)
Robyn
Melissa
Deepak
Eric
Dave
Dr. Brent
Isha
Susan
Delia
Michelle
Wendy
Megan
Hilary
Ann
Judi
Ronnie
Kelly
Lily
Terri
Betsy
Cait
Andrew
Jana
Annie B.
Veronica
22 comments
add your comment »does happiness exist?
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
Some people do nothing but blame others or outside circumstances on their happiness or unhappiness or things that happen or don’t happen. Others of us tend to take the blame for every little thing that happens – even the things that happen to others (or at least we think we have to fix what isn’t “right”..
There may be others who are able to realize that "stuff" happens to everyone and everyone contributes to it so they are able to detach from blame and just deal with what is at hand. They figure out what needs to be done about the situation in which they find themselves if anything and they take of it – they cope in a functional way. I have a sneaky suspicion that there are fewer of these than the rest of us.
In the end, we have to cope whether we do it realistically or functionally or we discard reality and/or proceed to behave in dysfunctional ways that may at the very least cause us and others more misery or at the worse cause us to commit acts that we will pay for the rest of our lives.
I’d like to say that I think we have choices and we do but sometimes there seems to be something that overrides our best judgment. Is that an inflated ego or could there be a bigger plan or picture in motion constructed by our Higher Power to offer a lesson we need to learn or something we need to experience “for our own good”?
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
Also, has anyone got a tip on how to free oneself of current hurt, when every though of current happy experiences is associated with this hurt ?
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
I find it rather surprising that "Most people ...don’t look honestly at their hurt but focus instead on blaming someone outside themselves." I know people who do it, but I think the majority internalize the blame and take on TOO MUCH responsibility on themselves rather than blaming someone else. In my case, this tendency was reinforced by hearing things like "you can't change another person, only yourself". So in one (deceptive) way this belief may be empowering - hey, I can become happy just by working on my issues. Trouble is, we can't become immune to and completely independent on other people's actions. This one-sided approach with time can lead to burnout and even worse powerlessness.
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
I would like to add that in all relationships, we all have a part in the responsibility for what happens in that relationship. It is never one sided. Thus, when we can look honestly at our hurt, we will see that we had a part in it, however small. Once we can acknowledge our part, we see more clearly. This is not easy. But the more we acknowledge our part, the wiser and more compassionate we become.
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
Thanks, Deepak, for this great advice re: reaching for happiness in the midst of pain. Sometimes we get so stuck in the painful place we are at that we don't see the way out to the light of happiness. Worse, if we like being in the painful place then we don't even want to get out because everybody rubs us on the back to soothe the pain and we end up liking that more than healing from it.
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
Dearest friends from this site , I must tell you that sometimes it is exquisitely simple. I have just returned home with a new little girl kitten.Her beautiful beingness is so quickly and utterly joined to my heart that peaceful bliss is my reality for now, and without all the " if's, and's, and maybe's" this now is all there is.
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
DEAR DEEPAK... AND ALL...
VERY TRUE AND REQUIRES ENGLIGHTENMENT ABOUT YOURSELF... ALSO... PATIENCE, SELF-LOVE AND SOMETIMES THE GUIDANCE OF A PROFESSIONAL ...
BEST WISHES....
GERSHON...
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
Thank YOU Ron, for being the light you are. :)
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
Brenda; Thank You for bringing your light into this world. You are truly a breath of fresh air.
send green star
why is this inappropriate?
Facebook account: