Do You See Yourself as Lovable?

Being lovable isn’t a superficial quality; it is a quality of spirit. If you can see yourself as spirit, it won’t matter what conditioning has occurred in the past, whether you were fortunate enough to be raised with loving values or so unfortunate that you were discouraged and made to feel ugly and worthless.

In our most inmost being, we are all completely lovable because spirit is love. Beyond what anyone can make you think or feel about yourself, your unconditioned spirit stands, shining with a love nothing can tarnish.

If begin lovable really is the secret to attraction, then there is no need for anxious searching, because your own being, which can never be lost, doesn’t have to be found.

The whole futile process of making yourself attractive to others, of constantly waiting for someone else’s response, of desperately comparing yourself with an ideal image can come to an end. The only requirement is a shift in perception, for those who cannot find love perceive themselves as not being lovable.

This is not true, but they make it seem true by linking their perception to a powerful system of beliefs.

What creates romance is the ability to see yourself as lovable.

This shift in perception happens not by changing who you are but by seeing who you are and then shining it forth. If you were able to exhibit the full grandeur of your being, your whole life would be a romance, one long love story dedicated to ecstasy and joy.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Uma C.

7:19AM PST on Feb 13, 2012

Unconditional love is one of the great life lessons here and family , romance, and any interconnectedness with other people opens the opportunity. People come together for varieties of reasons and how they will be with each other under all kinds of conditions create space for the great life lessons. Since mortality is the keystone of this experience with our behavior in face of it determining the power of our spiritual growth maybe the fantasy of romance is encouraging to us to attempt the closest relationships in the face of certain suffering. If we decide before we incarnate that starry eyed romance will be a fruitful field to reap the intended life lessons or determine it will be distracting from them we build certain qualities into the personality of the one we will become to make possible or not that type of life/love lessons. We make agreements with other entities about all the roles fundamental to the dramas we will use to our purposes and upon birth here forget it all, send it downstairs into the cellars of our subconscious, to act invisibly keeping life fresh and new. These things are fairly fated but changeable and only by our own self imperatives.

send a green star

7:14AM PST on Feb 13, 2012

I think Deepak, himself personally, like many men ,is a Romantic; to romanticize anything means to leave off the grit and only consider the fairy tale aspects of something.The "starry eyed" Romantic is pleasured and hopeful looking to give reality to the fantasy. Women are pragmatists in charge of the "day by day"if we find ourselves mooning over fantastical situations reality will quickly enough demand attention.Maybe it's to occupy ourselves with the unobtainable so the trauma and terror of love has no real chance of messing up our lives.To take a pleasant vacation in "la la land" without the distraction from our more important survival issues,mentally, to moon and swoon over ideas and ideals which, I think, might get boring after a while, but that's me. I and I'm sure others may have had the desire/fantasy for a perfect equal life partner to complement and complete us. That's what I was holding out for with the totally optimistic belief that since it had occurred to me it must be true.With our cultural input that surrounds us idealizing romance we tend to think that it "comes with the plumbing" and if we make ourselves worthwhile we will have it.We tend to judge others worth with whether they are living this ideal. I like romantic erotic fiction as much as the next person, just for fun, but I suspect that before I incarnated giving one's life attention to wild fantasy love or the" Ozzy and Harriet "type didn't seem productive of the achievements I planned. Uncondit

Jane B.

5:44PM PST on Feb 12, 2012

"What creates romance is the ability to see yourself as lovable."

Sooooo, attracting the man of your dreams depends on your "inner" beauty and your "spirit"?
Women have naturally "loving spirits". Why then aren't they finding "romance"? This is just another article blaming the "victim" again. Women can't find romance because they don't love themselves enough so therefore it's their own fault. Riiiiiight..... It COULDN'T be that 90% of MEN are self centered, arrogant pricks, COULD IT? Is it possible that MEN don't LOVE THEMSELVES ENOUGH? Could it be that MEN would rather go online and wack off to porno than give a woman romance? Get real, men don't give a #@% about romance,
WOMEN do. No matter how much women "love themselves" or put on makeup or dress
nice, men won't care. It's useless to try to please them. To pin the blame on women is typical of our Catholic/Christian society, i.e. MEN. The role of women in our society is personified by Newt Gingrich.

Past Member .

6:07AM PDT on Sep 10, 2011

I can be adorable!

I also have a dark side.

I enjoy both.

Danielle K.

5:02AM PDT on Jul 17, 2011

Being brought to think about this is really helpful for me personally. Thank you!

Gita S.

7:13AM PDT on Jul 3, 2011

Great words, inspiring advice, thank you.

Rosemary B.

8:49AM PDT on Jun 26, 2011

Thanks so much for the article and yes, I'm very lovable!

Ioana M.

4:04AM PDT on Jun 26, 2011

This makes sense :)

Helen A.

10:36AM PDT on Jun 22, 2011

When he said spirit I felt a little bit of release but then it was zapped back when he said romance. I want to feel spirit and release that, I don't know if there is room for anyone inside of me and I think that is alright too.

heather g.

12:28AM PDT on Jun 18, 2011

Yes, I do !