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Embracing Difficult Emotions

Jim Carrey was quoted in a Playboy magazine interview last year saying that “Heaven is on the other side of that feeling you get when you’re sitting on the couch and you get up to make a triple-decker sandwich. It’s on the other side of that, when you don’t make the sandwich….It is about giving up the things that basically keep you from feeling.  I am always asking myself, “What am I going to give up next? Because I want to feel.”   Learning to feel begins with a choice and the realization that authentic living demands the maturity to open up to your full experience, as messy as it might be.

This is, in fact, the do-or-die work of relationships; to have the courage to feel the full range of emotions that comes with intimate connections.  It is literally the fuel for the fire of passion, the air that keeps relationships breathing, the stuff of transformation and growing up.  Just as our weaknesses and frailties are wedded to our virtues and strengths–the ability to express uncomfortable emotions creates the possibilities of discovering the love and passion that we want most.

How then do we make this choice to live a feeling life, to physically experience the internal storms of growing up and growing old?  It is a practice, no different than learning a new musical instrument.  Some days you hit the right notes, other days there is no melody at all. In agreeing to the practice, something opens and each moment gives you an opportunity to try again. Slowly you become comfortable with the weather systems of your emotions. Some days it is even comforting to know they are there.

Read more: Love, Making Love Sustainable, Mental Wellness, Relationships, Sex, Spirit, , ,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


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8:25AM PDT on Sep 8, 2013

When stuff gets too tough I walk my dogs or snuggle with my cats....

7:37AM PDT on Sep 8, 2013


4:44AM PDT on Aug 5, 2013

Thanks for sharing. Great article :)

12:35PM PST on Dec 8, 2011

Thank you, Wendy. Will keep trying!

10:34PM PDT on Aug 15, 2010

good article

1:43PM PDT on Aug 15, 2010

Repression is something that's usually instilled by others (most usually in childhood) or comes about as the result of bad experience. Often it's how are childhood emotional outpourings are dealt with by the adults that has the biggest impact on how emotionally expressive we are. How often are anger, sadness, fear... classed as negative emotions, when it's really what actions that are taken as a result that have positive or negative connotations?

10:50AM PDT on Aug 15, 2010

Thank you very much. I know for sure we can´t push our feelings aside.
We have to work deeply.

10:08AM PDT on Aug 15, 2010

Interesting article, thanks!

7:22AM PDT on Aug 15, 2010

I have been working on this lately and appreciate the article.

1:57AM PDT on Aug 15, 2010

Being in touch with, and being able to express your emotions is invaluable. Being sensitive to your emotions and to the emotions of others around you changes your whole life experience-good article.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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