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Embracing Pain as a Friend

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Embracing Pain as a Friend

By Erica Sofrina, Speaker, Teacher and Author

“The time will come when with elation you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine, give bread, give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life.”

In this illuminating message the poet Derek Walcott talks about the moment we arrive at our own door and welcome in the stranger that was once our self.

What brings us to this place of remembering who we are? Do we arrive there all at once, or do we arrive there, and forget, and arrive again and again, each time finding another piece of the puzzle that makes up the mysterious entity that we call ‘ourselves’?

I believe our lives are a journey of dismemberment in order to remember who we truly are.

Like Isis who searched the world over for the body parts of her beloved Osiris, I spent years journeying through life like an amnesiac, gathering piece after precious piece until I began to recognize a form taking shape.

These precious ‘rememberings’ often came after a period of intense emotional pain.

So I ask the question, is emotional pain a bad thing?

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Erica Sofrina

Erica Sofrina is an Internationally recognized Speaker and Teacher and Author of the book Small Changes, Dynamic Results! Feng Shui for the Western World. She is also a life coach and motivational speaker and is the founder of the West Coast Academy of Feng Shui. She has run a successful business as a Professional Organizer, Interior Designer and Certified Feng Shui Consultant for over a decade and resides on the charming coastal town of Half Moon Bay in Northern California. Find out more at


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4:21PM PST on Dec 1, 2011

Thanks for this great article.

11:24AM PST on Nov 22, 2011

I wish I'd discovered Tolle's books 25 years ago. But then I know I wouldn't have been ready to take the information on. I had to go through a lot of pain before coming out the other end.
Day to day 'pain' is pretty easy to practice with and I hope I'll be ready the next time a 'real' pain comes along.

Rossy Osborne:
There is working through pain and working through pain. One is temporary numbing, the other is accepting, feeling, coming to terms with and letting go. Only the latter can bring you freedom and health.
I hope things get better for you each and every day.

11:14AM PST on Nov 22, 2011

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. It is a difficult subject and so hard to talk about because everyone's experiences are unique to them. Yes Rachel and Kirsten, Eckart Tolle's books about living in the now were transformational to me. Somehow we can get through what ever is thrown at us by being present in each moment and not resisting what ever emotion needs to come through the body. It is the resistance that causes the greater pain.

2:38AM PST on Nov 22, 2011

Makes me think of Ekart Tolle's A New Earth. I just finished reading it. I feel at the moment that I get glimpses, but then I fall even harder. The up is great but the violent swinging is exhuasting. Perhaps I'm missing something...

8:13PM PST on Nov 20, 2011

Very thought provoking.Thank you.

9:20AM PST on Nov 18, 2011

Wonderful piece.
Accepting the pain is the only way forward - accepting it, living it, letting it go. It is all too easy to become consumed by the pain and fear and miss the signposts to the exit along the way, but there is no avoiding it.
What you experienced seemed to be a personification of the living in the now, living in total awareness. Those moments are truly wonderful, but it takes work to keep them coming, to feel the incredible joy and love on the other side. I've had many flashes of them lately, but gone so fast that it takes a while to realize they were even there. But I'm learning to seize it - and it makes everything we confront in life so much easier, so much bearable - because there is the knowledge of the other side.
May sound weird, but there is lots of literature about it out there these days and the West is being introduced to what the East has known for thousands of years.

12:26PM PST on Nov 17, 2011

Loved reading this, and like so much in life, just read it at the perfect time for me. I so needed this reminder right now....

I saw that the thing I had spent my whole life avoiding actually held the keys to that which I had spent my whole life seeking.

Thank you Erica!

5:43AM PST on Nov 17, 2011

Thanks for sharing, whenever we embrace our darker sides of us we come in contact w/our lighter sides. We become whole. So often we are taught to run away from these darker moments and sides of ourselves, they are labeled negative, bad, wrong, and therefore there is something wrong with us. When we can get in touch w/all sides of who we are, we become whole and complete. Great post.

5:04AM PST on Nov 17, 2011

I love this article and I love this poem.
Everything shows up at the right time always for me.
Thankyou so much for sharing x

3:59AM PST on Nov 17, 2011

Thank you for this poem, it is so beautiful.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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