Everything You Think You Know About Beating Stress is Wrong

Read on for six smart new strategies to start de-stressing now.

By Daryn Eller, Prevention

If deep breaths, weekly yoga classes, and venting to your friends aren’t helping you relax, you have plenty of company—and it’s not your fault. New studies show that these supposedly tried-and-true anxiety busters are often just… well, a bust. Read on for the surprising truth about what really helps—and what doesn’t—when it comes to relieving chronically fried nerves.

Don’t stress: Steps to a happier you—in just two minutes!

Yesterday’s Wisdom: Never go to bed angry.
Today’s Smart Strategy: Just get some sleep already!

When you’re mid-dustup and about to wring your husband’s neck, the last thing you feel like doing is curling up in bed beside him. But deep down, many of us worry that going to bed angry just tempts fate. So we bargain, cajole, and then fight some more in an effort to resolve the dispute, thinking all will be well by the morning if we can just reach a resolution. The fact is, forcing a discussion by bedtime can actually make things worse, says Andrea K. Wittenborn, PhD, an assistant professor in the marriage and family therapy program at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University. When you’re upset, a part of the brain called the amygdala cues the fight-or-f light response, limiting your ability to have a calm, rational discussion. So it’s a good idea to hold off on any showdown until you cool off.

“Taking a time-out or even a night off is critical, because once you’ve activated the fight-or-flight system, you can’t simply tell it to turn off,” says Ronald Potter-Efron, PhD, author of Rage: A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Explosive Anger. “If you’re already angry or frustrated, you become emotionally flooded and unable to think clearly.” Plus, sleep is a powerful antidote to stress, says Russell Rosenberg, PhD, director of the Atlanta Sleep Medicine Clinic and vice chairman of the National Sleep Foundation. Instead, agree to call a truce until morning, and make sure to actually talk things out the next day. “Completely dropping issues that really bug you can be damaging to your relationship and contribute to increased stress,” warns Dr. Wittenborn.

5 Solutions to help you thrive while under pressure.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Berny P.

11:10AM PDT on Mar 12, 2012

FORGET WHAT YOU READ ...AND DO WHAT SUITS YOU!

send a green star

Mark P.

11:08AM PDT on Mar 12, 2012

This article is a great example of twisting information to try to counter other information and look cool, while completely missing the point and getting it all wrong.

Joanne M.

8:43AM PDT on Mar 12, 2012

Good information that reminds us that each of us is different and that it is OK to deal with stress in your own way as long as your way works for you. The big thing is to deal with it.

For me, nothing beats cuddling the kitties and falling to the sleep to the sound of purring - after a little dark chocolate of course :-)

Sylvia W.

5:31AM PST on Jan 23, 2012

One 'repetitive' activity I have found works better than meditation for me is drumming. It works best as part of a drumming circle - there are plenty of those around - but can also be a solo act. I have found that taking the time - at least an hour once a week or even twice a month - and really letting the business of maintaining a rhythm, extrapolating on it, but staying in time, shuts off those annoying 'voices' we all have yakking away in the back of our minds - sometimes the resulting quiet can last for days ;-)
If you have access to such things, group chanting such, as a women's Guedra, is also amazingly effective. This may be harder to find, but well worth seeking out.

Sarah M.

7:43PM PST on Nov 11, 2011

thanks

Naomi M.

11:24AM PST on Nov 9, 2011

Thanks.

Anne B.

4:35AM PDT on Oct 30, 2011

Interesting info, but I'll still meditate and do my yoga, because I'm one of those that definitely benefit from daily practice of both disciplines. I think the key is finding what is right for each person to beat stress. One solution definitely does NOT fit all (or even most)!

Lori K.

9:39PM PDT on Oct 27, 2011

I've always known that pets, exercise, and chocolate soothe me more than anything else, and people who dwell endlessly on their problems bore me to tears.

Was it Benjamin Franklin who said "Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be"? Whoever said it, was brilliant.

Sandy E.

2:50PM PDT on Oct 27, 2011

I like to listen to rock and roll real LOUD!

Melissa M.

6:27PM PDT on Oct 26, 2011