Find Your Soulmate

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.
–Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Contrary to popular belief, soulmates do not usually recognize each other at first glance. The person who attracts our ego is seldom the one our soul deeply desires to be with, and our soulmate is often the person who looks all wrong to our ego. But there are ways to make an enlightened choice, recognize your soul mate, and get what your soul truly desires in a partner.

Here are twelve important tips from this wonderfully helpful book for finding your soulmate:

1. Consider the possibility that there is a source of wisdom within you that knows better than you do which partner will be most likely to make you happy.

2. Stop listening to your ego, and start listening to your soul and your guide.

3. Don’t be discouraged just because your attempts to find true love have not worked in the past. A new approach may produce results beyond your wildest expectations!

4. Look for the sort of person you’d want as a best friend even if you weren’t attracted to her or him sexually.

5. Don‘t cultivate a relationship with someone “superior” whose love appears to “elevate” you in some way, but with an equal you enjoy.

6. Remember that your soul won’t be satisfied with anything less than true love. Accept no substitutes!

7. Focus on finding a partner who wants to share the kind of life you want, rather than adjusting your desires in order to be with some particular person your ego thinks would be perfect for you.

8. Stop holding out for a relationship that is effortless. Intimate relationships are frequently hard work, even when the other person is a soul mate.

9. Trust your heart. Trust your gut. And trust the inner sense you have when the energy closes down around some involvement. Be willing to consider change when some aspect of your life has ceased to be fulfilling.

10. Sometimes releasing a lover to seek greater fulfillment elsewhere is the highest expression of love.

11. Recognize that your happiness in life doesn’t depend upon being loved, but upon loving. You can have a joyous, love-filled life even if you never find a mate.

12. Come from strength, and focus on what you have to give others rather than on what you hope to get from them.

Read more: Spirit, Guidance, Self-Help

Adapted from Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, by Carolyn Godschild Miller (New World Library, 2000). Copyright (c) 2000 by Carolyn Godschild Miller. Reprinted by permission of New World Library.
Adapted from Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, by Carolyn Godschild Miller (New World Library, 2000).

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Danielle L.

8:16PM PST on Jan 28, 2012

So very true. Love comes from within.

send a green star

Summerannie M.

5:24PM PST on Jan 10, 2012

Danielle, beautifully written and inspiring as well. I h ope you can find another, however, sometimes that love 'taste' is very hard to reproduce again but maybe nearly and you are young and maybe when you arent looking like before you will find another and a different and yet loving relationship with not only you but your child.
Good partners are rare to find and equally hard to find as in being compatible.
I dont look because it reminds me about that wonderful poem about trying to catch a Butterfly and not then ignoring it and it gently lands on your shoulder. You werent searching, it just happened. A bit like you and Greg huh? Best wishes to you and your child.

Danielle I.

3:53AM PST on Jan 10, 2012

I knew I had found someone truly special the first time we spoke to each other, and I never thought I believed in finding the 'one'. But I did, and it was perfect, our love just continued to grow and our lives were happier and happier. My heart knew, its hard to put into words. But a knowing. He is no longer with me on the earth plane, but still very much with me in spirit. The strength of our love has not changed at all. I know I will probably never find that kind of love again but I consider myself blessed to have him for the time that I did. Some people never experience that and it is so sad. Never stay in a relationship that does not completely fulfill you. I made a brave change and ended a stale relationship and within a few weeks I met Greg and we were together from that day. And I believe we will be together again, a love that strong cannot be taken or broken.

Beverly G.

4:04PM PST on Jan 2, 2012

Geraldine your are so lukky. best wishes.

Siobhan J.

6:34AM PST on Jan 2, 2012

Well defined thoughts on the subject.

nancy r.

11:58PM PDT on Sep 18, 2011

Great article. Thanks!

5:01AM PDT on Sep 18, 2011

Good article to read, thank you..will return to read the others on this subject.

holly m.

4:41AM PDT on Sep 18, 2011

Good advice.I hope that desparation does not get into the way of some people finding what they need.

Michele W.

1:20PM PDT on Jul 15, 2011

Thank you

Geraldine T.

5:27PM PDT on Apr 12, 2011

I feel sorry for those who don't think they will ever find that 1 true love who is the other half of their soul. There could be more then 1 soul mate but it's the one we have known in more then one other life that is our true one.
I have found mine, 15 years ago, & we are more in love now, then when we first met.
Before we met I thought our that soul mate stuff, was only in those romance books, & it couldn't happen in real life. I was in a 23 year abusive marriage & wondered what I had done to deserve this. I had decided to get out of it & never go near another man, I thought all men we abusive ether physically or mentally.
It took me all my life to undertand myself enough to find my sole mate, who is now my husband, & I finally found true happiness. I also learnt to listen to that feeling, that told me I needed to do what I felt was right.
When I finally found my soul mate, we just felt as though we had all ways know each other. The funny thing is, I would have never been physically attracted to him, you see we had met on the net, & never saw each other till we had fallen in love with our true selves, so as soon as I looked in to his eyes, I saw how beautiful his souls was, I we have been happy from then on, we still had to work at it, as it say in this article.

This article is good advice to those who are still looking for that 1 person who you can love & respect, & who will feel the same way about you, love & respect in a good