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Find Your Soulmate

Find Your Soulmate

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.
–Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Contrary to popular belief, soulmates do not usually recognize each other at first glance. The person who attracts our ego is seldom the one our soul deeply desires to be with, and our soulmate is often the person who looks all wrong to our ego. But there are ways to make an enlightened choice, recognize your soul mate, and get what your soul truly desires in a partner.

Here are twelve important tips from this wonderfully helpful book for finding your soulmate:

1. Consider the possibility that there is a source of wisdom within you that knows better than you do which partner will be most likely to make you happy.

2. Stop listening to your ego, and start listening to your soul and your guide.

3. Don’t be discouraged just because your attempts to find true love have not worked in the past. A new approach may produce results beyond your wildest expectations!

4. Look for the sort of person you’d want as a best friend even if you weren’t attracted to her or him sexually.

5. Don‘t cultivate a relationship with someone “superior” whose love appears to “elevate” you in some way, but with an equal you enjoy.

6. Remember that your soul won’t be satisfied with anything less than true love. Accept no substitutes!

7. Focus on finding a partner who wants to share the kind of life you want, rather than adjusting your desires in order to be with some particular person your ego thinks would be perfect for you.

8. Stop holding out for a relationship that is effortless. Intimate relationships are frequently hard work, even when the other person is a soul mate.

9. Trust your heart. Trust your gut. And trust the inner sense you have when the energy closes down around some involvement. Be willing to consider change when some aspect of your life has ceased to be fulfilling.

10. Sometimes releasing a lover to seek greater fulfillment elsewhere is the highest expression of love.

11. Recognize that your happiness in life doesn’t depend upon being loved, but upon loving. You can have a joyous, love-filled life even if you never find a mate.

12. Come from strength, and focus on what you have to give others rather than on what you hope to get from them.

Read more: Spirit, Guidance, Self-Help

Adapted from Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, by Carolyn Godschild Miller (New World Library, 2000). Copyright (c) 2000 by Carolyn Godschild Miller. Reprinted by permission of New World Library.
Adapted from Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, by Carolyn Godschild Miller (New World Library, 2000).

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Annie B. Bond

Annie is a renowned expert in non-toxic and green living. She was named one of the top 20 environmental leaders by Body and Soul Magazine and "the foremost expert on green living." - Body & Soul Magazine, 2009. Learn Annie's latest eco-friendly news on, a website dedicated to healthy and green living.

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Following inner guidance to the relationship of your now


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11:53PM PDT on Oct 24, 2013

Good tips and article, thank you.

11:52PM PDT on Oct 24, 2013

Good tips and article, thank you.

11:51PM PDT on Oct 24, 2013

Good tips and article, thank you.

11:51PM PDT on Oct 24, 2013

Good tips and article, thank you.

11:50PM PDT on Oct 24, 2013

Good tips and article, thank you.

2:40AM PDT on Aug 17, 2012


1:53AM PDT on Mar 24, 2012

Thanks for sharing.

8:16PM PST on Jan 28, 2012

So very true. Love comes from within.

5:24PM PST on Jan 10, 2012

Danielle, beautifully written and inspiring as well. I h ope you can find another, however, sometimes that love 'taste' is very hard to reproduce again but maybe nearly and you are young and maybe when you arent looking like before you will find another and a different and yet loving relationship with not only you but your child.
Good partners are rare to find and equally hard to find as in being compatible.
I dont look because it reminds me about that wonderful poem about trying to catch a Butterfly and not then ignoring it and it gently lands on your shoulder. You werent searching, it just happened. A bit like you and Greg huh? Best wishes to you and your child.

3:53AM PST on Jan 10, 2012

I knew I had found someone truly special the first time we spoke to each other, and I never thought I believed in finding the 'one'. But I did, and it was perfect, our love just continued to grow and our lives were happier and happier. My heart knew, its hard to put into words. But a knowing. He is no longer with me on the earth plane, but still very much with me in spirit. The strength of our love has not changed at all. I know I will probably never find that kind of love again but I consider myself blessed to have him for the time that I did. Some people never experience that and it is so sad. Never stay in a relationship that does not completely fulfill you. I made a brave change and ended a stale relationship and within a few weeks I met Greg and we were together from that day. And I believe we will be together again, a love that strong cannot be taken or broken.

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Thanks for sharing.

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