Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.
–Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Contrary to popular belief, soulmates do not usually recognize each other at first glance. The person who attracts our ego is seldom the one our soul deeply desires to be with, and our soulmate is often the person who looks all wrong to our ego. But there are ways to make an enlightened choice, recognize your soul mate, and get what your soul truly desires in a partner.
Here are twelve important tips from this wonderfully helpful book for finding your soulmate:
1. Consider the possibility that there is a source of wisdom within you that knows better than you do which partner will be most likely to make you happy.
2. Stop listening to your ego, and start listening to your soul and your guide.
3. Don’t be discouraged just because your attempts to find true love have not worked in the past. A new approach may produce results beyond your wildest expectations!
4. Look for the sort of person you’d want as a best friend even if you weren’t attracted to her or him sexually.
5. Don‘t cultivate a relationship with someone “superior” whose love appears to “elevate” you in some way, but with an equal you enjoy.
6. Remember that your soul won’t be satisfied with anything less than true love. Accept no substitutes!
7. Focus on finding a partner who wants to share the kind of life you want, rather than adjusting your desires in order to be with some particular person your ego thinks would be perfect for you.
8. Stop holding out for a relationship that is effortless. Intimate relationships are frequently hard work, even when the other person is a soul mate.
9. Trust your heart. Trust your gut. And trust the inner sense you have when the energy closes down around some involvement. Be willing to consider change when some aspect of your life has ceased to be fulfilling.
10. Sometimes releasing a lover to seek greater fulfillment elsewhere is the highest expression of love.
11. Recognize that your happiness in life doesn’t depend upon being loved, but upon loving. You can have a joyous, love-filled life even if you never find a mate.
12. Come from strength, and focus on what you have to give others rather than on what you hope to get from them.
Adapted from Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, by Carolyn Godschild Miller (New World Library, 2000). Copyright (c) 2000 by Carolyn Godschild Miller. Reprinted by permission of New World Library.
Adapted from Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, by Carolyn Godschild Miller (New World Library, 2000).