http://www.care2.com/greenliving/flying-with-children-not-your-own.html
Flying With Children, Not Your Own
I had last reported on my personal harrowing in-flight adventures traveling with my child. As a service to readers, I offered up a few bits of advice as how to lessen the difficulty of braving five-plus hours in an airplane without hating your life, your child, and everyone else on the plane. My advice was directed squarely at parents, but ask anyone on a crowded flight–when a child is crying at the top of her lungs, everyone cries with her (I guess this is why they make noise canceling headphones).
Sure, you could cancel out the disturbance with ear-plugs, by changing seats, or relying on soothing chants and mantras, but at some point, you will have to come to the realization that complete separateness is not an option when you are being hurdled through the stratosphere with 200-plus people in a metal tube. You must cope and show some patience, if not humanity.
So for the rest of you, those who haven’t or won’t have children, or those of you who just left them at home, here is some humble wisdom as how to get through a flight seated next to, or close by, a traveling family:
1. When that child behind you is screaming, kicking, crying, or all of the above, take a moment to remember that we were all young, impatient, and helpless at one point in our respective lives. That child likely doesn’t want to be there, and if the child is sufficiently unhappy, it is safe to say that the parent isn’t all that happy about being there either. Your annoyance and discomfort are likely a fraction of what both that parent and child are experiencing.
2. Without being condescending or disingenuous, offer to help a parent in distress. This may be a very small gesture like picking up a dropped or forgotten item, or a larger gesture like offering to carry someone’s bag or stow luggage. Many parents are cool-handed pros at traveling with their children, but for many it is an exercise in claustrophobic unease and fear of collective judgment. Be compassionate.
3. Sometimes a little playfulness goes a long way. Many adults use their keen skills at play to occupy neighboring children, and keep spirits high. This is great if the play is welcome and if you have the stamina, but remember try not to engage a child if you are not willing to go the long haul. Often, children have not developed that “enough is enough” receptor in their brain and they will keep going with an innocent game of peak-a-boo well beyond your comfort level.
4. This last one is aimed largely at flight attendants and airline employees. Most parents do appreciate that working an airplane is difficult job, and the simple act of giving birth and buying an airplane ticket for your child is intended as a universal affront to flight attendants. I have seen flight attendants do wonders for families with a small gesture of kindness or creativity, as I have also been witness to flight attendants severely complicating the situation by being short, impatient, or unresponsive to a families needs. Again, be patient and be forgiving, because ultimately, a happy child is a happy plane.
When all else fails and you have found yourself in a veritable romper room in the sky, use a sleeping eyeshade and a pair of noise canceling headphones.
Eric Steinman is a freelance writer based in Rhinebeck, N.Y. He regularly writes about food, music, art, architecture and culture and is a regular contributor to Bon Appétit among other publications.
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18 comments
add your comment »Hey yo, Brett! What's up with that?! "I do know people who don't want kids for their own selfish reasons." You know a lot of people don't want kids for unselfish reasons as well and some other couples can't have children. There are more reasons than ever to decide not to have kids: surpopulation of the earth, greenhouse effect, terrorism, trajic past, not ready... I do know many people who don't have kids that love and respect kids and their families very much. Just because you decide not to have kids doesn't mean they aren't compassionate.
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why is this inappropriate?
please help
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why is this inappropriate?
My son never cried as an infant or toddler on a plane -- because I always nursed him when we were taking off and landing (when he was young enough to travel as a lap infant, I held him and nursed him, later I just leaned over and let him nurse while he was in his seat, which was his carseat). Other babies would be wailing on the plane, but he would be nursing and happy.
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why is this inappropriate?
People still choose to fly? *-) Let's all start a movement to get more funding for Amtrak. Seriously!
Until then, we may not all choose to HAVE children, but most of us WERE children at some point (some, perhaps, still are) and we should be able to empathize with the plight of someone in a situation not of their choosing, at the mercy of those bigger than themselves.
I'm all for the benign diversion ... sometimes a little intervention goes a long way toward breaking the pattern that's perpetuating the mood. Some parents, though, are less than receptive to a stranger interacting with their child. Best to ask first.
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why is this inappropriate?
Ya know those headphones that airplanes have? Use them. Before becoming a parent I had been on international flights where kids screamed for hours. I could drown it out with music or a movie. After becoming a parent my kid screamed for 2 hours straight as people glared at us. There was no calming him down and not one person offered any help with the situation. Believe me I probably wanted him to stop screaming more than those around me. Traveling with kids is not easy, but is often necessary. Have a little mercy on the parents and the kids, children do have a mind of their own. After you have kids of your own you will see that kids are not always controllable.
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Hi Catarina,
I agree with you. Unfortunately there are people out there that don't know what it is like having children, including myself (yet to have any). I do know people who don't want kids for their own selfish reasons and I bet there are plenty of them in the skies sitting close by to screaming kids. Unfortunately adults are to blame for this being an issue.
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why is this inappropriate?
Flying can be very tiring and scary for some kids. They might be sleepy or tired but have a hard time to get comfortable. When taking off and landing they need to chew on something to prevent their ears from popping which is uncomfortable and hard to understand for them. They might also need to stretch in their seats
A smile is worth a million words thankfully. Smiling at a tired child and parent is a good way to connect your sympathy and wish for them to be happy too.
Inhale, Exhale HA...
Also a great way to help crying children is to remind them to breathe because they don't breathe as well when they're crying. A great way is to inhale deeply with the child and exhale the tired energy out with "ha". It is very soothing and worth trying.
Breathing Deeply
Babies feel their parent's breath as they inhale deeply and exhale deeply. Imagine that you are inhaling peace and exhaling the stress out of your body or exhale Sh..... which mimics the soothing sound of the ocean. Try to smile as you breathe. Crying babies and children is really stressful and can make you tense, which will then make them more tense. You can also gently rub circles on their back with your hand.
Have a safe and happy flight.
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why is this inappropriate?
I have flown a lot in the past, while working abroad... Kids never bothered or bother me, unlike adult passengers. There are some extremely obnoxious, mean, rude and unpleasant adults on many flights! What to do about those?
Kids are no problem, and I usually have a few toys with me and I love entertaining children. :)
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My children are grown now but when they were younger,yes we traveled and they were both boys.We had to keep them quiet for the sake of others.No, it was not easy.I took snack and things to entertain them.When things got out of hand on the flight,etc. we took a march to the bathroom to "talk it out" and he would be fine when we came out : )
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why is this inappropriate?
Why did the alternative action not come up? This has happened several time lately. I will not be flying and this is an item I can not even if I want to do. Just curious. The links do not work.
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why is this inappropriate?
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