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For Victims Of Sexual Abuse

  • a Care2 favorite by Lissa Rankin
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For Victims Of Sexual Abuse

I did my Ask The Girlfriend Gyno chat in front of 400 students at Sonoma State University this week, and during my talk, I spoke about how I believe talking about your vagina can be very healing. After all, not only is the vagina where we create life and experience pleasure; itís also where many traumas happen — sexual molestation, rape, abortion, childbirth traumas, painful experiences at the gynecologistís office, and traumatic sex. When we donít release these traumas, they fester and manifest in ways we might not even associate with the original trauma. They might express as depression, eating disorders, or chronic pelvic pain. But when we talk about our vaginas, when we seek solace in the company of others, we set ourselves free.

After the talk, dozens of college students came up to me to thank me and give me a hug. Several said, ďIíve been molested and your words were so healing.Ē And one of them asked me if I would be willing to write a post about girls who have been violated, either through childhood sexual abuse or rape. And so this oneís for you, S, and all the others out there who have been hurt.

An Open Letter To Those Who Have Been Violated

Dear Ones,

Iím so very, very sorry for what you experienced. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take it all away, but since I canít, I can only outstretch my arms to tell you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you did absolutely nothing wrong. You may not believe me. You may have been telling yourself stories for decades — stories about how you asked for it, how you dressed inappropriately, how you led someone on, how you drank too much, how you should have been more cautious, how you could have prevented what happened. But these are only stories. Nobody ever deserves to be abused, no matter what. You did nothing wrong. You are innocent.

I am blessed to have never been molested or raped, but sadly, there are too few people like me out there. The statistics show that about 1/3 of women in the US have been sexually abused in some way. In places like Africa, this number may be much higher. Do you understand what that means? That means that when you go to the grocery store and look at the women standing in line, one in three of the women you see have been violated sexually. Which means that you are SO not alone. Everywhere you look someone else has suffered the way you have. And you donít need to carry that by yourself any longer.

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Lissa Rankin

Lissa Rankin, MD is a mind-body medicine physician, founder of the†Whole Health Medicine Institute training program for physicians and other health care providers, and the New York Times bestselling author of†Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself.† She is on a grassroots mission to heal health care, while empowering you to heal yourself.† Lissa blogs at†LissaRankin.com and also created two online communities -†HealHealthCareNow.com and†OwningPink.com. She is also the author of two other books, a professional artist, an amateur ski bum, and an avid hiker. Lissa lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her husband and daughter.

136 comments

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2:58PM PDT on Jun 24, 2013

Great post nicely done

6:13PM PDT on Oct 14, 2012

Lissa,
Thank you so much for such a wonderful & compassionate post. I am glad that you have never been through it & I pray to God that you never have to. & who says you are not a therapist? For someone who is not a victim herself, you are very intuitive & kind. Once again a thank you & may God bless you.

12:56PM PDT on Oct 14, 2012

It is completely unfair that the victim will always feel like the guilty one, and will often be blamed for the situation by outsiders.

12:48PM PDT on Oct 14, 2012

Read ..

6:04AM PDT on Oct 12, 2012

everything you say is true, but it is oh so difficult to take on board. when your abuser is/was someone whom you are told love us and care for us and deserve our love and respect in return, how do we process this?

2:50PM PDT on Jun 28, 2012

WHAT AN AWESOME LETTER AND LITTLE JUNE THANKS YOU.......NO LONGER A CITIZEN OF WHERE THE UNHEALED WOUND.........THANK YOU DOCTOR.

10:26PM PST on Nov 26, 2011

Thank you so very much.

4:41PM PST on Nov 25, 2011

This may be an unpopular opinion, but speaking as both an abuse and recent rape victim, these are things victims hear every day. Please, I understand the need to help, but just please try to understand these things a bit more before posting articles about it. I don't need to hear what I've already heard from everyone else in my life, and the thought that it has happened to 1 in 3 women is not helpful, it frankly makes me feel even less safe. Thank you for trying to help, but maybe this article should come with a trigger warning instead of a comforting title. It's just one of those things you can't understand unless it's happened to you.

7:34PM PST on Nov 22, 2011

Excelente, esto sera compartido

6:20PM PST on Nov 22, 2011

Thank you very much for posting this. It's really good to know that there is some people taking about this in an open space without shame.

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