http://www.care2.com/greenliving/forgiveness-in-seven-simple-steps.html
Forgiveness in 7 Simple Steps
By Connie Bennett, C.H.H.C.
No matter what your goals—whether you yearn to feel free, become empowered, lose weight, be more loving or break a sugar habit—you may not be able to move forward or succeed until you forgive your loved ones, friends, yourself or even strangers who harmed and wronged you, whether deliberately or unintentionally. Here are seven simple, easy-to-remember steps to help you forgive others and yourself.
As I can personally attest, when you feel forgiveness in your heart, it’s easier to be happy, productive, accomplish your goals and be at peace with yourself. You see, absolving and pardoning another is really less about other people and more about being true, kind and respectful of ourselves. Likewise, humbly and remorsefully atoning for our sins and transgressions against others is a way to give ourselves the esteem and value we deserve.
Not forgiving someone else and not repenting for the wrongs you’ve committed can:
- Rob you of your power and strip you of your dignity.
- Keep you trapped in anger, indignation and resentment.
- Make you feel helpless, stuck and frustrated.
- Harm you physically or emotionally.
- Stop you from enjoying relationships or reveling in your accomplishments.
On the other hand, forgiving others or asking for forgiveness can:
- Free, heal, nurture and release you.
- Fill you with lightness, compassion and good will.
- Ennoble, empower and enliven you.
- Bring you closer to God or goodness.
- Refresh, reward and renew you.
I now invite you to try out seven simple steps that I developed, which spell out the word “Forgive.”
Face the facts.
Own up to the reality that you need to forgive another person or yourself. If you don’t accept that you’re stuck in a bitter, unforgiving, intolerant quicksand, you’ll never get out of your rut to live a sweet, fulfilling, enriching life.
Oust the anger.
Even if you feel that the other person’s offenses are real and your anger is justified, you should resolve to shed your fury, resentment and bitterness.
Remember the offenses.
Recall the harms inflicted on you. Mind you, I’m not suggesting that you wallow or stew in self pity. Instead, I’m recommending that you take some paper and recount all or your or another’s transgressions. State: “I fully and freely forgive _____________ (person’s name) for ______________” (spell out what the person did). Your list could go on and on, but always make sure to “fully and freely forgive” first. Now read your list out loud several times. Then take a match to it and burn it in the sink. (This is very freeing, but please be careful not to start a fire or hurt yourself!) Repeat this process, if desired.
Give the benefit of the doubt.
Realize that, in most instances, the person(s) who harmed you was probably being either selfish or self-involved and was not out to hurt you. But if she or he had underlying, callous, unkind thoughts, then shower that person with pity, kindness and empathy. Looking at these “sinners”—or even yourself—with this kind of compassion and understanding can help to release you.
Imagine what forgiveness feels like.
Now visualize yourself breaking free with forgiveness. Pray to God for forgiveness, too, if you wish. Then create and repeat forgiveness affirmations or mantras in front of the mirror. One such forgiveness affirmation could be:
“I fully and freely forgive ______________ (person’s name), and I am now released. Harmony, peace and good will reign supreme between ______________ (person’s name) and me.”
Value the experience.
Realize that forgiveness can be powerful and effective—perhaps as important as eating nourishing foods, exercising and believing in yourself. Acknowledge that letting go of your acrimony, animosity and antagonism can totally transform and improve your life.
Embrace forgiveness.
Approaching another to apologize completes your seven-step process and helps you to achieve a joyous, merciful frame of mind. (If the person is no longer on this earth, imagine yourself humbly asking forgiveness and the other person pardoning you.)
I hope that simply reading these easy seven steps to “FORGIVE” will begin to ennoble, educate and empower you. Now, I invite you to begin pardoning those folks who’ve affronted you. Remember, by forgiving someone, you’ll free up space in your heart and being for more wonderful things to arrive.
Robyn
Melissa
Deepak
Eric
Dave
Dr. Brent
Isha
Susan
Delia
Michelle
Wendy
Megan
Hilary
Ann
Judi
Ronnie
Kelly
Lily
Terri
Betsy
Cait
Andrew
Jana
Annie B.
Veronica
16 comments
add your comment »I have a person in my life that has hurt me over and over for 3 years now. I am having trouble forgiving even though I know this person has changed. It has upset my life and my childrens drastically. How do I forgive and move on? My life is miserable because I am so angry and so are my kids. Please Help!!!!!
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If someone you care about, nevered hurt hime and always made him feel that you love him more than any thing in your life..For me dhe is my friend...if she hurt me after all i did to her ,,can i forgive her that easy...?is that so easy?? i don't think so..Why doesn't she ook for any way to make me fprgive her..she is the first that started,,,i'm sorry forgivness isn't so easy like that,it can't be done withen only "7Simple Roles"
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How does one forgive a person who constantly reminds you of every little transgression they feel you have committed?...Will try these steps in hope that they will give peace of mind, thank you.....
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forgiveness is expected of us according to the holy bible. how can we expect to be blessed if we can't forgive? it is really hard to do when someone you care about hurts you but when you find that place of forgivness and tell that person you forgive them it makes you feel like the world has been lifted off your shoulders. its A very refreshing feeling.harboring unforgivness in our hearts can cause us to become hard hearted and can make us physcially ill. its when we forgive that our heavenly father can forgive us of our short comings and we can recieve his blessings.
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thank you so much. I've just looking for something to open my heart and my head because many people around me have passed away with ca in few years later. I'm questioning the God's calling.
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I find that the Ho'oponopono technique works even more quickly. Whatever issue comes up that needs forgiveness say, "I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you". It instantly melts away any negative feelings, freeing you and freeing them. www.GrassdancerEssences.com
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Thank you..this came when I really needed it! I have been trying to forgive, but not doing well, I think this is just what I needed to see.
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I am finding it hard to forget, I can forgive though. Now I must learn to so with the 7 steps given here.
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It is often difficult to find forgiveness within ourselves when someone has betrayed and deeply hurt us. If you cannot forgive, you poison yourself. Forgiveness can cleanse you and set your heart free. It's finding true forgiveness. It has to come from the heart and soul. I think we must also forgive ourselves for feeling anger and resentment. Therefore, a little guidance can be helpful.
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People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self centered;
Forgive the anyway
If you are kind people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed any way.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building someone may destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today people may often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.
You see in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Kent M Kieth
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