The feeling of unforgiveness is hard and cold. It blocks the flow of your own energy. Here is a meditation to help you release the tension around not forgiving another, and opens the flow of your energy for healing.
Step 1. Close your eyes or leave them open. Take a breath, hold for a count of four. Continue to be aware of your breath.
Step 2. Now shut your eyes and look in, where you keep the energy of person not yet forgiven. But from a disengaged place, feel–get the feeling of unforgiveness.
Step 3. Now you move to a new space of your being that holds the name of a person you have forgiven already. Again with the support of breath, feel the energy now of the forgiveness. This is balance. It is in this different place, the third place, where the most healing energy is contained. This pain is stored, waiting for a catalyst to activate your personal healing energy. For yourself, for your True Self.
Step 4. Take a breath and release. Take another breath. Drive your attention to one person who holds for you a thank you for participating in her or his life with support. But for some reason or another, you avoid, or have avoided, the receiving of that energy of gratitude from someone who appreciates you. Now, release your attention, notice the gravity of those Step 1 memories leaving you now.
Step 5. Then think of a second person. Then a family–or a broken family or a cluster of humans or animals that are of and like family. Or another person, or two others. It does not matter. If they are grateful to you, they are the space in your mind/body that holds the most grace for healing that is available to you. So think of this, and breathe, and connect to your unreceived energy of gratitude.
The gratitude belongs to you completely; those other negative feelings do not. And that gratitude is always open to you. So you can go back in time, be the witness, accept the gratitude, not the shame, and you will notice the flow of healing. This is not in the forgiving, but the place of being, one place where what has been given is gratitude did you did not accept.
Unforgiveness/forgiveness–move through both/either of them to receiving gratitude.