Friends to Keep, Friends to Avoid

Be conscious of who draws you and who not.
–Rumi

Find out what a great Buddhist teacher and master has to say about the kinds of friends to cultivate, and the ones to avoid. What kind of friend are you? What kinds of friends do you have?

Good friends can help us discover our capacity for connection. Get some wise guidance about the true nature of healthy friendship here–and then pass it along to your friends.

Kinds of Friends to Cultivate

1. Friends that help us tell right from wrong. They let us know when our conduct is admirable and are not afraid to tell us when we behave poorly. Such friends help us to stay on the right path.

2. Friends that are compassionate and caring. They give us moral support during our trying times. They are also happy for us when we are doing well.

3. Friends that are always ready to extend a helping hand. They are pillars of strength. They help us stay focused and come to our aid when we are lost.

4. Friends that share our aspirations. Such friends provide us with encouragement and are not hesitant to share their time and resources.

Kinds of Friends to Avoid

1. Friends that never show their true intentions. These people are not trustworthy or sincere and take advantage of others with no remorse.

2. Friends that are envious of others’ good fortune and success. They constantly wallow in bitterness and resentment.

3. Friends that have hearts of stone. They only think about themselves and fail to see or care about others’ predicaments.

4. Friends that do not acknowledge their own mistakes. They are quick to place blame on others, instead of being willing to learn and grow from their own foolish conduct.

5. Friends that refuse to accept advice from others. Their minds are closed and their character is arrogant.

Although we should still show kindness and compassion to all of these people, it is not wise to keep their company. Friendships should be based on mutual affinity, not one-sided effort. Real friendships are an actual and resounding expression of true joy.

Read more: Spirit, Inspiration, Self-Help

Adapted from Living Affinity, by Hsing Yun (Lantern Books, 2004). Copyright (c) 2004 by Hsing Yun. Reprinted by permission of Lantern Books.
Adapted from Living Affinity, by Hsing Yun (Lantern Books, 2004).

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

ii q.

9:59AM PDT on Apr 18, 2012

shalvah l says it best!

send a green star

Robert O.

9:17AM PDT on Jul 9, 2011

Thanks.

Masha S.

4:10AM PDT on Jun 4, 2011

I'd rather have 3 good friends than 20 not so good friends

Camilla V.

11:21PM PDT on May 30, 2011

thanks

Stephanie I.

1:57PM PST on Jan 11, 2011

Thanks for the article.

Nadeem A.

8:37AM PST on Jan 11, 2011

Unfortunately, in this day and age, it's almost impossible to find the kind of friends recommended in this article.

8:30AM PST on Jan 11, 2011

Unfortunately, in this day and age, it's almost impossible to find the kind of people recommended in this article.

Shalvah L.

4:37AM PDT on Oct 19, 2010

Your friends reflect you! Show me who is your friend and I'll tell you who you are!

Jean L.

1:58PM PDT on Oct 17, 2010

Great article. We all learn from our mistakes. Hopefully as we get older, we get wiser.

Kath R.

1:36PM PDT on Oct 17, 2010

Being able to identify toxic behaviour in friends is the first step towards creating a healthy environment in which to happily live.
Thanks for posting this straightforward article.