Gay Marriage Legal In California: Prop 8 Overturned

Hallelujah! My world is round again. Last week, a federal judge overturned the voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage in California instituted by Proposition 8. Finally. Itís about time.

A last frontier

I was staying with a friend who lives in the gayest of the gay neighborhoods in San Francisco when Prop 8 was first voted in. It was a dark day indeed. I wanted to run up and hug every person on the street and say, ďIím sorry. I voted for you.Ē But everyone was so sad, hardly anyone spoke. Frankly, I was in shock.

Like many, I was raised in the 1970ís to think being gay was a sin. My mother believed that gay people could be reformed by just praying hard and letting go of their wayward thoughts. Then my sister came out of the bisexual closet and introduced us to her new girlfriend. Mom, who loves her children dearly and has always said, ďthe relationship is more important than being right,Ē found herself eating crow and doing an about face (Go Mom!).

When the propaganda was thrashing around before the Prop 8 election, I was living in conservative Monterey County, where I was shocked to find “YES ON PROP 8″ signs in my neighborís yard, causing my hubby and me to wonder what the hell we were doing in such a town. But I didnít think it would actually go through. After all, the constitution very clearly supports equal rights for all. And marriage (and the emotional, societal, and fiscal benefits that accompany it) is simply another right. To me, the battle against gay marriage is one of the last frontiers. As we look back in history in amazement that anyone ever had to fight to free slaves, to allow women to vote, or to grant equal rights to people of color, we will do the same for the rights of homosexuals. It is clear. The constitution protects us. We are equal human beings, regardless of race, gender, or religious preference. The arguments against gay marriage are simply madness in my opinion.

Next: What is sacred?

What is sacred?

People argue about the sanctity of marriage. The sacredness of the family. The blessed union between a man and woman. Bullshit!

Now granted, Iím twice divorced, so Iím no pillar of marital sanctity here. But I feel so grateful that I had the right to make my mistakes, learn from them, and marry a man I adore. I canít even imagine if I wasnít granted that right. If I loved women, I would want to be married just as much as I do now. I would want the societal recognition, the proof for my child that we chose to be a family, and the fiscal benefits we enjoy. I would want a wedding and a ring and the right to share a last name. The fact that I might love women wouldnít change that one bit. Why would we expect anyone else would feel any differently?

One of my best friends is gay and managed to get married somewhere where itís legal. And then suffered a bitter divorce and custody battle over their two children, born via a surrogate. He said, ďThe worst thing about gay marriage is gay divorce.Ē And I feel for him. Divorce sucks. But isnít it better to love and lose than to never love at all? Isnít it better to lay it all on the line, even if you might fail? And shouldnít he have as much right to love fully and make mistakes as I do? Yes. He should. We all should. Itís simply not up to the government to make that decision for us.

Celebrating and believing

And so I celebrate last Wednesday’s ruling. In honor of my gay sisters and brothers everywhere, I press my hands together and bow Namaste. I raise my glass. I giggle with glee. I jump up and down. I take a deep breath.

I know there will be battles still to fight. The anti-gay factions are already calling for an appeal. I suspect this will go all the way to the Supreme Court. But I have no doubt that I will live to see the day that gay marriage is legal everywhere in the United States. Our constitution protects it. Itís a simply matter of civil rights. Every adult human should have the right to marry. Who cares about gender? Years from now, Iíll say, ďI told you so.Ē Itís only right. The Universe wants it that way. Itís divinely ordered. And love will always win.

I know the road is long, and it will be painful in the process. But I will be there, holding a picket sign, dancing my support at Gay Pride, writing posts like this, and linking arm and arm with every being who lives and wants to be true to their authentic nature.


Marley Malone
Marley Malone6 years ago

Some people have to deal with the fact that others are straight and stand up for LGBT rights

Roxanna Tice
Roxanna Tice6 years ago

I was ecstatic to find that Prop 8 had been overturned. My best friend's mom is gay. I have a lot of gay friends. I was raised pentecostal and my mother had always been against homosexuality. Then she had a friend whom she got to know and then found out that they were transgendered. She changed from that point on. I am still pentecostal in a lot of ways, but the God I believe in doesn't discriminate. He loves all of us equally and YES I believe he made gay people gay. It's not wayward thoughts, it's the essence of who you are.

The Constitution guarantees the pursuit of happiness for all, it doesn't say that only white christian males have that right. It states that is an inalienable right to all mankind (or rather humankind). So who are we to judge who others love. If we stop trying to make everyone else like carbon copies of ourselves, this might just be a nicer place to live.

Go Supreme Court! Thank you for protecting the constitutional rights of us all!

Patrícia G.

Since May 17 2010, gay people can get married in Portugal. I'm not gay, but that day made prouder to be portuguese.

Saroey E.
Ra S.6 years ago

This is awesomme!!
I totally believe in gay marriage
I love them n beileve sometimes
they deserve it more than straight people!
I dont think God hates gay people either or
even thinks its a sin
Its who they are and how they are born
in the end were all HUMAN
Im so happy for gay rights success!!
Keep your spirits up and believe in your relationships

Kini Cosma
Kini Cosma6 years ago

What's the raucous over gay marriage? There are worse problems like individuals, who, because of selfish

reasons conspire to false imprisonment, malicious prosecution, judicial injustice and impropriety,

prosecution for the sake of prosecution, lack of funds for legal aid to prove their innocence and/or

other errors of one kind or another, have been wrongfully accused and wrongfully convicted of a crime

which they did not commit and have been left to languish resulting in loss of liberty, civil rights,

productive lifestyles, financial and personal ruin, mental anguish, social condemnation and personal and

family embarassment for the remainder of their lives while being tortured. No one cares about that! All

your Federal Judges know that my case is one of the worse human right violations in U.S. history.

Cha Bei
Past Member 6 years ago

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Lori Hicks
Lori Hicks6 years ago

I just don't see why this is such an issue? If two people love each other and what to spend their lives together..what does it matter? If John and Sam want to marry..why would I say no and how does their marriage hurt me? The religious folk need to get off their soap boxes and learn to LOVE

Daniel N.
Daniel N.6 years ago

Thank GOD for people like you Lissa. We need more people who are NOT gay or lesbian to be able to see that ALL are equal. Equal rights for a minority will never come from just the minority voting for it. It must be the MAJORITY, in this case heterosexuals, that understand equal rights is important. When rights for women were being fought ALL the voters were men but legislators knew it was important and did it anyway. When African-Americans were seeking rights a HUGE majority of voters were white, but again legislators knew it was important. Once again legislators are trying to do what is right in the face of a violent majority wanting to deny rights to a specific group. It is SO sad to me that so many of that majority use the same God who watches over us all to try and bash some. The MOST important commandment in the BIble is to LOVE, and there is NO love in how most people treat gays and lesbians. I pray one day these people will look deeply at their actions and realize they are not being loving.

Jake Davis
Jacob Davis6 years ago

I welcome the free exchange of ideas, including yours.
I enjoy our debate, keeps the mind sharp ;-)
I'm sorry if i hurt your feelings, but i wouldn't be showing you love, if i didn't tell you the truth.

but really, please seek knowledge, what can it hurt?