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Gay Moms Confront Rude Questions; Julianne Moore Has Answers

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Gay Moms Confront Rude Questions; Julianne Moore Has Answers

Just yesterday, the wonderful actress Julianne Moore came over to shoot a short video supporting our Moms Clean Air Force campaign to stop air pollution. (Go, Moms! I was thrilled. More on this later. But this post is about something else entirely.)

I caught up with Julianne’s three books about the adorable Freckleface Strawberry, a girl who sorts out her feelings about herself and her friends, for young readers. Freckleface is based on Julianne’s childhood memories–and the books are really about how children develop moral compasses.

Julianne’s new book is Freckleface Strawberry: Best Friends Forever. One of Freckleface’s friends has two moms. He feels “different” from other kids in many ways, as of course, he is. Aren’t we all?

I have friends, a married couple, who have just had twins. These two moms could not be more thrilled–and more exhausted. As you can imagine. They live far from me, in a state I don’t visit often. I only recently caught up with them.

I was stunned to hear stories about the kinds of things they have to deal with now–what they confront when they go out for walks with the babies in the stroller. Relative strangers–people who live nearby but who are not at all friends–feel they have the right to stop them and ask all sorts of inappropriate questions. One is particularly aggressive.

“So, who’s the father?”

“Where’d you get the sperm?”

“Do you have any genetic relationship with these children?” was another question, first for one mom, then the other.

“What is your relationship to these babies?”
Even the young nanny–who is incredulous, and aghast, at this treatment–gets stopped and pumped for information, behind the moms’ backs.

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Moms Clean Air Force

Moms Clean Air Forceis a community of moms, dads and others fighting for clean air and the health of future generations. Follow them on Twitter @ MomsCAF.


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10:09AM PST on Nov 20, 2011

What if you were in that position of embarassment, being interrogated for being yourself? Keep your thoughts to yourself, they're not benefiting anyone.

5:01PM PDT on Oct 22, 2011

im not that polite :)

10:54AM PDT on Oct 22, 2011

I never cease to be amazed at how inconsiderate people can be. It does seem that it's getting worse. People seem to think they are entitled to know everything about everybody, whether it's your next door neighbor or a movie star. Privacy is a thing of the past. We need to get it back.

5:17AM PDT on Oct 22, 2011

rude ignorant people

3:45PM PDT on Oct 21, 2011

What a child needs is loving caring parents, however that may come..

10:55PM PDT on Oct 20, 2011

Sometimes I get tired of the stupidity and ignorance in the world. I think one should have an "educational" response for nitwits like this, but I feel like maybe they don't deserve it.

2:52PM PDT on Oct 20, 2011

How sad that these couples have to put up with this sort of behavior. It is no one's business but their own.

2:36PM PDT on Oct 20, 2011

How rude.

9:35AM PDT on Oct 20, 2011

so true

8:05AM PDT on Oct 20, 2011

Those people are rude and inconsiderate, yes, but then weren't we all, some time, at some point in our life... I say patience and calmness are the answer.

I can relate, being the ''child of an interracial couple'' (of course, to me, they're just Mom and Dad). All my childhood, people would see me and my ''white'' Mom and ask : where did you adopt her? Most of the time, we would just laugh... most of the time. I do understand and agree with the ''paper cut'' analogy in the article. These remarks are nothing, barely scathing but... you feel them, as they accumulate with time. These remarks are a way for people to say: ''You guys can't fool me! You pretend that you are ''normal'', but I can see plainly that your family is NOT like the other families I know! You guys are different, and I DEMAND to know why!?!''

So... maybe... if your family is not what the average unaware Joes are used too (say 2 Moms, or White Mom Black Dad, or Trans Dad, etc) and sometimes, you don't feel like laughing at their sometimes hurtful, always silly questions, you could just say (with a friendly smile) : ''I get that you feel insecure by the sight of our family, that's probably why you are so curious. Well, don't be afraid! We don't mean you any harm, we just want to get on with our lives. As for your question, I'll wait until we make more progress as friends to answer it, but then, you'll probably think it was irrelevant''

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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