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Gratitude of a Gentle, Beautiful Reality

Gratitude of a Gentle, Beautiful Reality

Reality is gentle and beautiful when you lean in close. –Betty Peralta

I was practicing The Work by Byron Katie the other day, trying to see into the places where my thinking keeps me trapped in my own discomfort. In addition to applying the basic questions that most of our thoughts deserve, what was most remarkable about the conversation was the realization of how many of my beliefs have come to be from a distance.  I don’t think I am unusual here. We make judgments based on the limited information we have about life, whether it concerns people or situations.

Opening up those judgments is not really a process of right or wrong as it is, lifting the thought long enough to lean in closer to the situation. Up close, even the most terrible situations have a tenderness and beauty that is lost when we look from a distance.  We don’t see the beauty in poverty or war. We don’t see the tenderness that happens between people in third world villages. We just see the problems, which are deep and pervasive.  Closer in, all people, even people from dramatically different realities, are remarkably the same with similar issues.

For all of my educating about the power of love as a filter to see our lives, I have for so long not had the wisdom of looking through this lens at my own judgments.  It isn’t just intimate relationships that come clear when we see through our heart’s eyes, it is reality itself.   The graceful place of gratitude is a beacon of this truth.   Gratitude knows that everything is a gift and even the most painful of moments has a lining of light and love if we dare to recognize it.

Although it is early in the summer, I am beginning to entertain this truth inside of me , in places that have not had this kind of light shining.  I am not always able to respond to every situation with this filter, but more and more can reflect on most of them as true. In fact this is a lesson that I have been learning for decades. Some twenty years ago when my first child was diagnosed with a range of delays,  the first friend I made, asked me  “Do you see what a gift this situation is for you?”  I was too shell shocked and grief stricken at the time to  appreciate the gift,  but her words stayed with me over the years of my daughter’s care.

In the end,  our experience together was the most gentle and beautiful teacher I could have ever asked for.   Maybe we are all really given exactly what we need,  you just have to lean in so close with your heart to see it.


Positivity Quest: A Summer of Gratitude
Gratitude: It Starts With a List



Read more: Love, Mental Wellness, Relationships, Sex, Spirit, Wendy's Positivity Quest, ,

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.


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12:12AM PST on Jan 21, 2012


12:38PM PST on Nov 18, 2011


10:06PM PDT on Oct 25, 2011

I find it one of the great challenges and gifts of a spiritual journey, to learn to stand back from habitual responses and let go enough to see there's always another way. Nice reminder

8:54PM PDT on Jul 29, 2011


12:58PM PDT on Jul 21, 2011

My love and gratitude for the article.

5:47AM PDT on Jul 19, 2011

Thanks for the article.

12:58AM PDT on Jul 15, 2011

Thanks Wendy, I always find your writing insightful. Beforehand I've been reading all the links on the left side of this web site and feel downhearted that this cruelty and inhumanity still persists.
I believe one needs to work for positive change in one's environment not only for oneself, people who touch our lives, but also for animals.

8:57PM PDT on Jul 14, 2011


7:25AM PDT on Jul 14, 2011


9:52AM PDT on Jul 12, 2011


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