http://www.care2.com/greenliving/happiness-is-overrated.html
Happiness is Overrated
By Paulo Coelho, Ode Magazine
What is happiness? This is a question that has not bothered me for a long time, precisely because I don’t know how to answer it. I am not the only one. Throughout the years, I have lived with all sorts of people: rich and poor, powerful and mediocre. In the eyes of all who have crossed my path–and I include warriors and wise men, people who should have nothing to complain about–I have found something was always missing.
Some people seem happy. They just do not think about it. Others make plans: “I’m going to have a husband, a home, two children and a house in the country.” While this keeps them occupied, they are like bulls looking for the bullfighter. They don’t think; they just keep moving forward. They manage to get their car, sometimes even a Ferrari, and they think the meaning of life lies there, so they never ask the question. Yet, despite all that, their eyes betray a sadness of which they themselves are unaware.
I do not know if everyone is unhappy. I do know that people are always busy–working overtime, looking after the kids, the husband, the career, the university degree, what to do tomorrow, what they need to buy, whatever it is they need to have in order not to feel inferior and so on. Few people have ever told me, “I’m unhappy.” Most say, “I’m fine, I’ve managed to get all I ever wanted.”
So then I ask, “What makes you happy?”
They answer, “I have everything a person can dream of–a family, a home, work, good health.”
I ask again, “Have you ever stopped to wonder if that is all there is to life?”
They answer, “Yes, that’s all there is.”
I insist. “So the meaning of life is work, the family, children who grow up and leave you, a wife or husband who will become more like a friend than a true love mate. And one day the work will come to an end. What will you do when that happens?”
They answer… there is no answer. They change the subject. But there is always something hidden there–the owner of a firm who has still to close his dream deal, the housewife who would like to have more independence or more money, the new graduate who wonders whether he has chosen his career or has had it chosen for him, the dentist who wanted to be a singer, the singer who wanted to be a politician, the politician who wanted to be a writer and the writer who wanted to be a peasant.
In this street, where I sit writing this and looking at the people passing by, I bet everyone is feeling the same thing. That elegant woman who has just walked by spends her days trying to stop time, controlling the bathroom scales, because she thinks love depends on that. On the other side of the street, I see a couple with two children. They live moments of intense happiness when they go out with their kids, but at the same time their subconscious is busy thinking about the job they might not get, the tragedies that might occur, how to get over them, how to protect themselves from the world.
I leaf through magazines filled with famous people–everybody laughing, everybody happy. But since I am familiar with this segment of society, I know it is not like that. Everyone is laughing or enjoying themselves as that photo is taken, but at night, or in the morning, the story is different.
“What can I do to keep appearing in the magazine?”
“How can I disguise not having enough money to afford all this luxury?”
“How can I manage this life of splendor to make it even more luxurious and expressive than other people’s lives?”
“The actress I am with in this photo, laughing and having a great time, could steal my part tomorrow.”
“I wonder if my clothes are nicer than hers.”
“Why do we smile so much if we loathe one another?”
I recall the words of Argentine poet Jorge Luis Borges: “I will not be happy any more, but that doesn’t matter. There are many other things in this world.”
Paulo Coelho is the Brazilian author of international bestsellers, including The Alchemist
Ode, the magazine for Intelligent Optimists, is an international independent journal that publishes positive news, about the people and ideas that are changing our world for the better. Click here for your FREE issue.
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31 comments
add your comment »"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?
by Charles Schulz."
"The word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."
By Carl Jung
Peace to all...
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I was never happy because I always thought i was missing something better. Nothing in my life was good enough. Then, I fell into a job and a life that I never would have chosen, and realized recently that I have never been happier.
I have a career I never would have chosen, teaching Science in the ghetto! I'm a snob, I hate kids who aren't mine, (I used to think). Why am I now content?
My house is filled with scores of foster animals, and I can barely keep up with the mess. I'm a clean freak! How can i feel satisfaction?
I finally realized that I feel good because I am making a positive difference in the lives of many who are far less fortunate than I have been. My students are learning! They are thinking globally, instead of just inside their community. Former students are e-mailing me to talk about college majors like environmental engineering and pre-vet. These are kids who were at risk of gang activities and dropping out!
My family (especially my youngest daughter) and I have have seen over 200 of our fosters go to good homes. These are loving, wonderful friends who would have died, and now they are loved for life.
My children and husband are positive and moving forward with joy and hope. I feel good as I go through my day. I stopped worrying about others impression of me, and do what I feel is best. And suddenly, and surprisingly, I realized that I am actually happy! Go figure!
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Great wisdom by Paulo Coelho. I could not agree more.
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The thing about happiness is that we, humans, are unsatiable. We might have a list of things that when we get them we will be happy, but as soon as we get them, we have another list with new things to look for in order to be happy..
I agree with Ron K. "Quit working at trying to be happy and just be..."
Cheers!
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“Our hearts are restless until they rest in You”: St. Augustine
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I found i had everything i ever needed in life yet there was always this emptiness, this yearning that something precious was still missing until i discovered what truely brings PERMANENT happiness in ones life and never ever vanishes or disappears i.e. THE HIDDEN TREASURE - GOD ALMIGHTY,THE CREATOR is the only way to TRUE PERMANENT HAPPINESS in Life. GOD is and will always be there no matter what our state. GODS Luv carries you through all walks of life, thru tragedies and calamities, HOLD tight to GOD and we will achieve strength to HAPPILY persevere and be patient in all circumstances thus dispelling the feeling of UNHAPPINESS... Try it (lose yourself in GODS Luv) and experience the feeling of eternal bliss, peace, joy and happiness which no human can ever give us. May we all be blessed with the Wisdom to Know GOD and experience GODS Exquisit Luv and Closeness Ameen.
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Hi,
Nice, provocative post,
Very interesting site. Hope it will always be alive! I am thinking of visiting your site again.
thymian
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Ron, right on about the "purchase unhappiness." "Show me the love" scenario was from a BIG BLACK MAN who was a teacher in College. He had heard it all. The point was, JUST show me the love already and stop the parc (spell it backwards). Imagine what he went through. He was THE ONLY black male teacher I ever had.
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Unbelievable Ron K's comment THAT'S EXACTLY my mom's almost last words to me before she left this world...'there's no secret to happiness - just BE HAPPY!' It is a state of being that's important, not longing wishing for or any material or acknowlegement that makes you 'happy'. In addition, I would add just as i did to the POST 2 days ago? regarding 'DISABLED LABEL'...my happiness 'quotient' IS derived from certainly 'liking myself being my own fried etc' but MORE IMPORTANTLy going out of myself, to OTHERS in need ...the greatest happiness each and every time when I can help others who have very little of anything mentioned in the article, MONEY,THINGS, HEALTH, CARING FAMILY/FRIENDS, SOCIAL OR WORK INTERACTION.......the help i give? JUST BEING THERE and enjoying them smile as my cat sits with them purrs for them i read or sing to them...NOW THAT IS HAPPINESS and unless your 'spirit/soul/essence' isnt happy - faith and Christin based, or not!, THE BRAIN, HEART, BODY AND REST OF YOU in this life NEVER WILL be either. keep it simple (abundance style) as in all you have is all you need! or 'happy is as happy DOES' ...i feel sorrow and compassion for those who may NEVER get that part and joy when some finally do! thanks for 'listening' HELP EVER HURT NEVER! Patty H.
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Here are some great quotes on Happiness:
"People are unhappy because they don't understand life; by happy, I mean complete, aware, conscious, poignant, caring, loving, unaffected, cosmic, simplistic, humble, excited, passive - everything. You are everything."
"Happiness is separate from daily experience. If picking the right door on the game show makes you happy, then you will be unhappy in the future because eventually you will pick a wrong door."
"Happiness is just being you, where you are right now. Allow yourself to be you. Shut off all the silly thoughts and desires and crazy emotions."
Quit working at trying to be happy and just be...
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