We all make dozens of well-intentioned New Year’s resolutions, but by now most of us have already started slipping.
Ever wonder why we can never keep them? There’s an important reason why making New Year’s resolutions just doesn’t work.
Start making resolutions that really speak the language of your soul. These are the resolutions you’ll keep! Here’s how:
Most of us make resolutions that make us feel subtly (or not so subtly!) shamed, punished, or not-good-enough. What we need is more self-trust. When we begin accepting and honoring the deeper longings underneath our resolutions, we begin a resolution revolution!
Here’s an example: a client recently told me he wanted to stop eating ice cream and start losing weight. He shared that he had made this same resolution several times in the past, with no success. But no wonder! His love for ice cream was his body’s way of telling him he wanted more sweetness and pleasure in his life. Who would want to give that up in favor of deprivation? When he accepted his healthy desire for pleasure, he could turn his attention away from ice cream and begin focusing on other, healthier things that bring him pleasure and comfort. He made a self-loving resolution to incorporate more of these healthy pleasures into his life–a resolution that is a joy, instead of a punishment, to keep. And he reports that now he needs a lot less ice cream!
What are your New Year’s resolutions? For most of us, they revolve around body image or health routines: to get fit, to lost weight, to quit smoking. This year, instead of focusing on the negative (“I’m going to quit smoking!”), focus on the positive desire for wellness. The smoker’s resolution might go something like this: “I will find healthy ways to soothe myself. I will explore meditation to help me feel relaxed, and hypnosis as an ally to help me stay vital and well.”
Find your own way to honor the deeper longings and needs of your body and spirit.