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Hookups, S&M, and Modern American Sex

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Hookups, S&M, and Modern American Sex

By Monica Wilcox

They saydating is dead; hookups are all the rage. So I went straight to my beautician, the local dating expert, to see if this was true. Her answer was grave, I dont know where a girl goes these days to find a guy who actually wants to build a relationship. Maybe online dating? Poor Ashley sounds tired for 26. Whats wrong with the men of my generation? Theyre terrified of commitment.

Pass the pork and bless the beans! Im 19 years out of the singles market and yet, Im still not free of it. My two children are on the cusp of sexual curiosity and, being their mother, I suppose its up to me to prepare them for the dating scene AS IT IS. Could Ashley be right, are men afraid of commitment?

Maybe. . .

Why does Rihanna keep saying SSSMMM? my 11-year-old daughter asks in her evaporating innocence. Holy Crap! I was preparedwhen the sex talk came at seven but I never imagined Id be hashing over S&M with her in the family minivan. ThanksRihanna, thanks a bunch!!

I debate playing nave because, honestly, Im not ready to explain to my child that some people like to mix pain with sex. Im going to tell all my friends at school how much I love that song. She chimes. Great! Now I have this mental image of her telling her girlfriends how much she likes S&M, which will travel through the 5th grade faster than headlice until some wiseass boy asks her if shed like to bend over so he can spank her. HOLY CRAP!!! Im taking a baseball bat to our stereo tonight.

Or Maybe. . .

I should swallow my mortification and open myself up to preparing her for this trend toward empty sex. I dont have time for a boyfriend, Sara, my 20-year-old neighbor admits. Im too busy focusing on my degree and Ive got to be ready to go wherever it takes me. Thats what the dudes have been doing all this time. Ahhh Saras voice sparks my growing suspicion. Could the popularity of the hookup be correlated to the growing rise in female independence? Maybe its not the dudes driving this trend but todays modern womanmaybe its us.

Lets face it, men have proven pretty willing to follow our lead when it comes to sex. When women were demanding a two-year wooing process, men were doing it. Now that were accepting a quick sext (sex+text), men are doing it. If the women of America took a sexual stand tomorrow, demanding an extensive string of gourmet cooking classes, candlelit chats, and salsa dancing MEN WOULD BE DOING IT.

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Read more: Children, Dating, Family, Love, Relationships, Sex, Spirit, Teens, , , , , , , ,

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42 comments

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9:03AM PDT on May 24, 2012

It is the age that decides what men yarn for!
Senior men fall in love,and long for commitment, But at that age women are tired of taking care of men's emotional needs.

9:16AM PST on Nov 11, 2011

I really enjoyed this article. It was well written and right on the nose with the current culture change.

5:07PM PDT on Oct 17, 2011

as a teen i find it largely depends on who and why.....

11:20PM PDT on Sep 19, 2011

Beautifully written, really enjoyed reading this. Luckily (or maybe not) we don't have to have this "talk" for a few more years!

8:53PM PDT on Sep 12, 2011

hmm interesting thanks. Nicely done.

2:53PM PDT on Aug 29, 2011

love this article thank you

10:12PM PDT on Aug 25, 2011

Thank You for your Article!! I have a 20 yr. old Daughter and I keep on telling her over and over to wait till she is married or when she finds her true love that respects her and loves her. She is a Young Lady and I hope and pray she stays a Lady!!

12:01PM PDT on Aug 22, 2011

Thank you

9:29PM PDT on Aug 21, 2011

Interesting points! I'm sure your kids will turn out fine. :)

2:27AM PDT on Aug 19, 2011

What a great, funny, realis tic read! Thank you.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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