By Monica Wilcox
They say dating is dead; hookups are all the rage. So I went straight to my beautician, the local dating expert, to see if this was true. Her answer was grave, “I don’t know where a girl goes these days to find a guy who actually wants to build a relationship. Maybe online dating?” Poor Ashley sounds tired for 26. “What’s wrong with the men of my generation? They’re terrified of commitment.”
Pass the pork and bless the beans! I’m 19 years out of the singles market and yet, I’m still not free of it. My two children are on the cusp of sexual curiosity and, being their mother, I suppose it’s up to me to prepare them for the dating scene AS IT IS. Could Ashley be right, are men afraid of commitment?
Maybe. . .
“Why does Rihanna keep saying S…S…S…M…M…M?” my 11-year-old daughter asks in her evaporating innocence. Holy Crap! I was prepared when the sex talk came at seven but I never imagined I’d be hashing over S&M with her in the family minivan. Thanks Rihanna, thanks a bunch!!
I debate playing “naïve” because, honestly, I’m not ready to explain to my child that some people like to mix pain with sex. “I’m going to tell all my friends at school how much I love that song.” She chimes. Great! Now I have this mental image of her telling her girlfriends how much she likes S&M, which will travel through the 5th grade faster than headlice until some wiseass boy asks her if she’d like to bend over so he can spank her. HOLY CRAP!!! I’m taking a baseball bat to our stereo tonight.
Or Maybe. . .
I should swallow my mortification and open myself up to preparing her for this trend toward empty sex. “I don’t have time for a boyfriend,” Sara, my 20-year-old neighbor admits. “I’m too busy focusing on my degree and I’ve got to be ready to go wherever it takes me. That’s what the dudes have been doing all this time.” Ahhh… Sara’s voice sparks my growing suspicion. Could the popularity of the hookup be correlated to the growing rise in female independence? Maybe it’s not the dudes driving this trend but today’s modern woman…maybe it’s us.
Let’s face it, men have proven pretty willing to follow our lead when it comes to sex. When women were demanding a two-year wooing process, men were doing it. Now that we’re accepting a quick sext (sex+text), men are doing it. If the women of America took a sexual stand tomorrow, demanding an extensive string of gourmet cooking classes, candlelit chats, and salsa dancing MEN WOULD BE DOING IT.