How Bad Body Image Can Ruin Your Sex Life

By David Wygant for YourTango.com.

How do you feel when you’re naked? How do you feel when you get undressed, look in the mirror and see yourself totally nude?

Be honest. What do you see first when looking at your naked body in the mirror? Do you immediately go for a flaw? Do you instantly obsess over something you don’t like?

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Maybe you don’t like the shape of your breasts. Maybe your stomach isn’t as flat as you’d like it to be. Maybe your legs are just a little too chunky. Maybe your rear-end is flat or a little too wide.

The longer you look in a mirror, do you become more critical of yourself and the way that you look naked? Here’s the deal: If you rip yourself apart when you’re naked, if you’re highly critical of your body, your shape and/or the way it looks naked, it’s going to thoroughly destroy your sex life.

When you get naked with a man, the first thing the man wants to do is admire you. He wants to look at you, feel you, touch you. When a man has you naked, he doesn’t want to feel your insecurities, your fears about your body, your dislike about the way you look. After all, if he’s gotten that far with you, he’s attracted to you. He thinks you’re hot, sexy, and he wants to make love to you. If you don’t like your body, that feeling will come across when you’re having sex.

The minute he touches a part of your body that you don’t accept, you’re going to freeze up, and the man is going to feel that and wonder, Did I do something wrong?

It might be very subliminal, something that you don’t even realize you’re doing, but when two bodies are naked together, when they’re touching, when they’re feeling one another, everything is amplified.

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I have been with women who didn’t emotionally embrace all parts of their bodies. And when I would touched that part, she would move my hand away.

My best advice? Get out of your head. Otherwise you won’t be able to fully enjoy the moment. When it comes to your body image, learn to love it the way it is.

Sure, you can have goals to improve your body by going to the gym and creating healthy habits. Regardless, you need to praise your body every single day because it is beautiful. You should feel sexy, beautiful and amazing because you are. And as you love your body more, you’ll attract more men that love it too.

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So stand in front of a mirror, get naked and look at your beautiful, amazing body knowing it’s perfect just the way it is.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: How Bad Body Image Can Destroy Your Sex Life.

45 comments

Fi T.
Fi T.3 years ago

It's all about self-confidence

Colleen Prinssen
Colleen Prinssen3 years ago

can someone help me write angry letters, run petitions so those "dumb slut" magazines will run special issues for dealing with body image problems that don't involve weight? it is nessesary. like malaria net nessesary.

Latoya Brookins
Latoya Brookins3 years ago

I agree that body image issues can wreck havoc on sexuality.

How can anyone be touched when they are uncomfortable in their own skin? How can someone get to a place of expressing their love with their body when they feel there is something wrong with their body? How can someone believe that someone else is aroused by and attracted to them when they feel unattractive? How can someone unite in body and soul with another and reach a higher state when their mind is stuck or heavily focused on physical imperfections and insecurities?

Sandi O'Donovan
Sandra O'Donovan3 years ago

I never fell good about myself, I'm actually very negative especially about my weight, but my partner never says anything negative at all... Maybe i shud just feel the love and go with the flow!

Jane H.
Jane H.3 years ago

so true!!

Colleen Prinssen
Colleen Prinssen3 years ago

i have undies and a sport bra. but i put images of myself on mybodygallery.com. look at the shorter, skinnier, banana shaped crowd and you could find me.

Colleen Prinssen
Colleen Prinssen3 years ago

scoloisis. enough said.

can't do anything. having to hard a time feeling pretty. i don't know if i am just fat or if i have a little belly protrusion.

Sarah Lee
Sarah Lee3 years ago

TRUE!!!!!!!!

Tim C.
Tim C.3 years ago

thanks

Magda V.
Past Member 3 years ago

thx:))