Itís not that hard to find like. Or lust. Or friendship.
But love – true, epic, lasting love, the kind of love that leads you to celebrate 50 year anniversaries – is a whole other story.
As someone with two divorces under my belt, you may be reluctant to take love advice from me, and I wouldnít blame you! But Iím nine years into my current marriage, and things are better than ever, so maybe Iíve learned a thing or two. Take it with a grain of salt, but in case something Iíve learned resonates with you and helps you find the kind of lasting love Iíve finally found, I wanted to share it with you.
10 Love Tips to Help You Find (& Keep) Love
1. You probably wonít get everything you need from one person. And thatís okay.
I used to think my romantic partner had to be my end all/be all. I had a list a mile long of what my partner had to do/be/think/like. Iíve since learned that many of the things on my list are mutually exclusive. In order to rock one, youíre likely to have to give up another. So how could one person possibly be everything?
Now I realize that I can get every need on my list met – but I have to seek outside my romantic partnership for some of it. For example, I adore my husband, but heís agnostic. And Iím extremely spiritual. I love him unconditionally, so Iím not going to ask him to change his beliefs. But I need to find spiritual connection elsewhere. So I have friends I can call when Iím in spiritual crisis or want to share some miracle thatís happened in my life.
2. Love someone for who they are, not who they could become.
Yes, people change. We grow. We evolve. Like fine wine, some of us get better with age. But donít count on it. If you fall in love with someoneís potential rather than who they really are, youíre likely to wind up disappointed.
3. Put your true self out there.
If youíre pretending to be something youíre not, youíll attract someone who loves the fake you, not the real you. One woman who took a workshop with me died her hair pink and left her armpits unshaved. She said it was a good screening tool for men. Anyone who wasnít cool with that just wasnít gonna jive with her authentic self (go girl!) Go ahead and let your freak flag fly and youíll be much more likely to draw in the right love.