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How to Affair-Proof your Relationship

How to Affair-Proof your Relationship

In my last post, I reflected on why affairs happen.

I am no psychologist, but I’ve seen that one big factor is feeling that you’re being taken for granted. Often, one steps outside the boundaries of commitment to prove a point to oneself; to feel wanted, loved and respected.

So, I jotted down some thoughts on how to create those elements in your committed relationship, so that your partner wants to stay, not stray.

  • He leaves the toothpaste tube open and the toilet seat up? Don’t bicker over small things: accept your partner’s little habits and idiosyncracies as part of who he/she is .
  • Remember to say Thanks. Just because you are hitched now,  you should not take the other person’s acts of thoughtfulness for granted. Let him know you appreciate it.
  • Remember to give regular boosts to your spouse’s self-esteem. Tell him how good he looks, how well she dresses, and how wonderful you feel when you are together.
  • Stop asking ‘why only me,’ or saying ‘now it’s your turn so you do it.’ Do you always want to be right, or do you want some loving?
  • Don’t try to be a doormat or a martyr or the boss. A marriage or romantic relationship is different from others because it is a partnership—it works great if you meet each other half-way.

Do add your own advice and insights–there’s a lot of us out there who need Rx for rocky relationships!

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Shubhra Krishan

Writer, editor and journalist Shubhra Krishan is the author of Essential Ayurveda: What it is and what it can do for you (New World Library, 2003), Radiant Body, Restful Mind: A Woman's book of comfort (New World Library, 2004), and The 9 to 5 Yogi: How to feel like a sage while working like a dog (Hay House India, 2011).


+ add your own
2:27PM PDT on Mar 26, 2013

Thanks for posting

5:05PM PDT on Mar 25, 2013

be Nice and respect each other ,Very importent

11:17AM PDT on Mar 25, 2013


7:07AM PDT on Mar 25, 2013

Heather G, sounds like you were one of the "temptresses" CC C. was referring to. I guess thats one thing I never understood, why some people feel its ok to get involved with someone else's mate. The whole idea sickens me. I guess some people were NOT brought up with class, dignity or morals. He he he???, I wouldn't laugh, the jokes on you.

6:38AM PDT on Mar 25, 2013

So in those 5 simple steps your relationship can be affair proof! Hmmmm, I'd say this article is naive and ingenuously written. There could be so many reasons and I doubt if it is because the wife failed to pump up his ego every night.

6:53PM PDT on May 23, 2012

care 2's link to fb is screwing with us... soooo... sorry bout "Josh Martindale"'s comment that does not pertain to this article. We don't know what is wrong here... grumble. thanks for the article. I wrote something.. idk where it went. sorry

6:48PM PDT on May 23, 2012

Men, cook if you love it! Or if your partner needs a break or as a surprise date! It's sexy, it's refreshing, and it's nice. Who cares if guys like to cook? More power to them!

12:31AM PDT on Apr 15, 2012

Thanks for the article.

5:29PM PDT on Apr 8, 2012

It's usually not that simple

6:14PM PDT on Apr 7, 2012

good advice, but there's a lot more to it.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

Thank you for the article.

Thank you for reminder.

Wow! Sounds like I need to grow one.


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