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How To Be Grateful To People We Don’t Like

How To Be Grateful To People We Don’t Like

Gratitude is the foundation of abundance. It is the cornerstone of living a purposeful, rewarding, joy-filled life. Gratitude activates the positive Law of Attraction vibrations.

If there are people in your life that you don’t like, the negative energy vibrations you transmit towards them drag down your positive vibes and you end up lower down on the “vibes scale” than you want to be. For example, let’s say, on a scale of 1 – 10: 10 is your highest positive vibration, and 1 will be your most negative.

Even if you have high vibes with most people in your life, just having one person you don’t like, can drag your vibes down to a lower level.

It is in YOUR best interests to find a way to be grateful to all people, yes!, even if you hate them, even if they drive you crazy, even if you are completely justified in hating them because of their unspeakably heinous behavior towards you.

Here are 5 keys to transform your perspective.

1. DISCOVER THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM

The first step is to spend time with yourself and look into what happens to YOU when this particular person sets you off. Take the focus off them and shine the light fairly and squarely on yourself. You probably find you’re filled with a turmoil of emotions: anger, frustration, irritation, hurt, disappointment and so on. Allow these emotions to be there with nonjudgment and compassion for yourself.

I recommend the Gibberish expressive meditation technique* for releasing emotional turmoil. By dumping these feelings out in a meditation context, you quickly re-discover your inner peace, clarity of mind and well-being. In addition, your sense of humor, and creativity return. From this place of wisdom and clarity you can start to move into compassion, and understand that the other person is living in pain and fear and doesn’t know a better way to behave.

2.  FOCUS ON THE GOOD

Most people have some redeeming qualities, although in certain cases they are quite hidden from view. Assume the good qualities are in there, somewhere, because they are. Remember that everyone is born filled with love, joy, and inner peace. Somewhere in their life (for many people it’s because of an abusive childhood), this person has lost their way and become disconnected from the Source of Love. They have become trapped in a cycle of abuse — towards themselves and others.

Send this person vibrations of love. Pray for them. Ask that they will find their way back to the light. This does not mean that what they did to you was ok. It doesn’t mean that you have to spend time with them, or even have them in your life. It doesn’t mean that you are the person to help them.

It does mean, however, that you raise YOUR positive vibration level. (Hopefully they will receive your gift but we can’t control that part).

YOU BENEFIT, IMMEDIATELY!

3.  CREATE BOUNDARIES

One of the reasons people irritate us and get under our skin is because we don’t make our boundaries clear. It’s important to be clear about what is acceptable behavior towards us and what isn’t. This means we have to speak our truth, no matter what.

Everyone in your life should be respectful, friendly and courteous towards you. If they are not, it’s up to you to address the issue. Always make sure that you are respectful, kind and courteous towards others.

4. MIND YOUR VIBRATION

We get what we vibrate. If we speak to people in anger, that’s what we get back. If we are disrespectful, mean and insincere, that’s what we get back.

Dump out your turbulent emotions in the gibberish meditation technique* and, when you feel calm and relaxed, have a conversation with the person you don’t like, or write them an email or a letter. Communicate what you want with clarity, friendliness, and respect.

The more clearly you ask for what you want, the more likely you are to get it.

The #1 reason you are doing this, remember, is to shift YOUR vibrational level higher up the scale. With most people you get a positive response, but not always. Hold the faith, because the transformation in YOU is miraculous, irrespective of how the other person responds.

My most difficult experience was dealing with an abusive family member. This individual did not respond to me in a positive way until the day they passed away. However, what happened to me was extraordinary. I shifted my perspective, and transitioned into love and compassion for that particular person, and for all people, no matter how difficult they are to like.

5. UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF LOVE

When we take 100% responsibility for what is happening inside of us, miracles happen. We find it easy to be grateful because we have transformed dislike into compassion.

Love is recognizing ourselves in the other.

On one level we are physical form and psychological make-up. On a deeper level we are all the consciousness of Oneness. Love is the recognition of our Oneness. Compassion, the highest form of love, then arises in us.

* Here is the Gibberish Expressive Meditation Technique

Benefits: You gain instant relief from turbulent emotions and from the chattering mind. You become more calm, relaxed, and creative.

Step One: Gibberish (30 seconds)

Close your eyes. Start speaking in gibberish, any nonsense sounds. Don’t worry about what you sound like. Make any sounds that arise; don’t speak in a language or use words that you know. Allow yourself to express whatever needs to be expressed within you. Just go totally mad. This is therapeutic madness.

Step Two: Sit in Silence and Watch with Nonjudgment and Compassion for Yourself (30 seconds)

 

You can find more information on the Gibberish and other expressive meditation techniques in my latest book: Laughter, Tears, Silence

HERE are CDs of a range of meditation techniques discussed in Laughter, Tears, Silence.

Are you up for transforming your perspective? I would love to hear your experiences-please put your comments below.

 

Pragito Dove is a master trainer, international speaker, and meditation expert who teaches people how to transform pain and fear into joy and inner peace in order to achieve real world success. A best-selling author and  thought leader on visionary thinking, she is dedicated to re-igniting passion and vision in people’s lives, and making abundance accessible to all. Featured blogger on www.huffingtonpost.com/livingwww.intent.com
and www.vividlife.me

 

Read more: Guidance, Life, Spirit, , ,

By Pragito Dove

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96 comments

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2:50AM PDT on May 22, 2013

Thank you :)

5:30PM PDT on Apr 26, 2013

Lika S.
You are always forgiven.

People act the way they do out of unconsciousness - they don't know any better.....even if it seems imbecilic to us....it's the best they know.
Love,
Pragito

8:21PM PST on Feb 23, 2013

Just smile and move on!

9:12PM PST on Feb 17, 2013

Sometimes, people I don't like posses qualities that are deficient in our selves. for those strengths, I can be grateful for. But what if they are imbecilic, and don't have an excuse to be that way? May I be forgiven?

8:21AM PST on Feb 16, 2013

thanks. i have several challenging people at work and in my family. one thing i do is like you say, try to find their strength. what can i learn from this person?
lady a may be aggressively rude, but she is very logical and intelligent. it is her communication style that is the issue. I can learn a different view point and if she is open, i can privately point out how she is being interpreted by others. (i tried, she blew me off, but that is her burden, not mine.)

1:28PM PST on Feb 14, 2013

Hi Chrissie, Dot, Jane, Val and Lisa and all of you who posted your great comments. So glad you enjoyed the blog and that it gave such a platform for your wonderful sharings.Some of you are in challenging situations and I think with so much insight, love, and positive intentions on this forum, you will gain some healing. Sharing here on care2.com is so supportive.
I send you all love, and my warmest wishes,Pragito

1:36PM PST on Feb 13, 2013

Very good article and advice,thank you.

9:13AM PST on Feb 13, 2013

Yes!

Distance is a loving thing between those who cannot get along!

Saying 'no' is also a loving thing when the alternative would be in some way harmful to any one involved.

Love is strong and discerning, and has the power to move away from those things which bring harm.

Love
is kind in many ways. Avoiding harm is one of those ways!

I agree with all who are supporting the #3 advice!

8:24AM PST on Feb 13, 2013

Thank you--it is important to be able to recognize toxic people---I try to stay away from them. I do seem to attract needy people tho.

1:51AM PST on Feb 13, 2013

Thanks.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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