http://www.care2.com/greenliving/how-to-calm-a-parent-overly-concerned-with-their-childs-eating-and-nutrition.html
How to Calm a Parent Overly Concerned with Their Child’s Eating
A lot of money has been spent, cookbooks amassed, recipes carried out, and meals left untouched by unimpressed little hands in an attempt to nourish finicky eaters. A whole industry has been built upon the idea that children, throughout their many stages of food exploration, require special meals embellished with all manner of bells and whistles while surreptitiously burying the more nutritious pabulum under successive layers of fat, salt, and sugar. Books like Jessica Seinfeld’s Deceptively Delicious, The Sneaky Chef by Missy Chase Lapine, and Toddler Café by Jennifer Carden all give a cautionary sense that something has gone horribly wrong with the way parents feed their chronically picky children.
Everyone seems to hold the singular silver bullet that will slay the selective eater and give birth to a child who willingly eats heartily and healthily. In the past week there have been two reports on National Public Radio concerning feeding picky children, in addition to the near 200 stories over the past 6 months (by my count) that have run in major media publications on the subject of nourishing/feeding difficult eaters. Judging from this, it appears parents have lost control of their children and are in need of a nutritional bailout.
I am certainly not making light of the very real obesity problems, along with all of the other nutritional shortcomings that are currently impacting young people throughout the country. Parents and children alike need to assume a greater responsibility for what they are eating and how it nourishes or malnourishes their bodies. However, speaking to parents here, I think we need to stop fretting and learn to love food, and engage with food, all over again.
Children go through countless cycles of preference and favor throughout their development, as yesterday’s favorite meal will no doubt be tomorrow’s bore. The trick (as if there really is a trick) is to cultivate a genuine love and enjoyment of food (ideally food that is wholesome and nourishing) and have that set an example for your child. A child that witnesses a parent’s love affair with a spinach salad will no doubt have some curiosity about such unknown pleasures.
If you have some kitchen skills, invite your child into the kitchen with you and put them to work. Give them a sense of involvement in what they eat, and don’t hesitate to make it meaningful by talking about the food at hand; giving some context or even a bit of personal history (i.e. “I remember hating spinach when I was a child too.”).
Ultimately, your relationship with food will inform your children’s comprehensive notion of what food is and should be.
Eric Steinman is a freelance writer based in Rhinebeck, N.Y. He regularly writes about food, music, art, architecture and culture and is a regular contributor to Bon Appétit among other publications.
Robyn
Melissa
Deepak
Eric
Dave
Dr. Brent
Isha
Susan
Delia
Michelle
Wendy
Megan
Hilary
Ann
Judi
Ronnie
Kelly
Lily
Terri
Betsy
Cait
Andrew
Jana
Annie B.
Veronica
11 comments
add your comment »Thank you Michelle,
I've been giving her the same food for a long time, but often still have to blend it to even get it tasted (and then it often disappears with seconds to follow). But if I don't blend, it won't be touched. I do make compromises (do her a breaded fish while we have wild salmon steaks), but I would like her to accept food in a state which somewhat resembles how nature made it rather than a thick reddish-brown pile of gloop. ;) And calcium is still a bit of a worry, though am sneaking some more milk products in without it becoming a chore or altering our food too much.
Thanks.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Kirsten, I actually began to apply the general philosophy I found on Katja R.'s website (noted in her comment). I won't say things have turned around for us, but I think my son and I both feel less stressed at mealtimes. I explained my new rule to him: "I decide what to serve, you decide how much of it you're going to eat." So we now have fewer meltdowns and arguments about what's for dinner. There have been a few small breakthroughs -- the first night I explained the new rule, I gave him some homemade chicken fingers (which he likes) and half of a baked potato stuffed with cheese and broccoli. Once I explained that it was up to him to decide how much of it to eat, he didn't scream because it was on his plate. And he actually took a tiny nibble of the broccoli, which is unheard of for him. And last week, he didn't complain at all when I served him a veggie burger and sweet-potato fries. He didn't like the fries, but he did try one - a definite improvement. I'm going to just keep putting good stuff on his plate and hope for the best.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Thank you for your insight. I do already apply a lot of the advice, but no matter what I do, my 3 year old will not eat vegetables (unless hidden in a tomato sauce - and then only zucchini, egg plant and small amounts of beans and mushrooms); and now refuses calcium sources except yoghurt and the fruit milk shake I make for her (pureed fruit and milk). It does worry me, and I don't like to feel bound to making milk shakes for her every day to ensure calcium. She'll only eat fish fingers too, so calcium rich fish is out as well.
Any suggestions from anyone? All help and advice is very welcome! (we live in Germany, so most specific brands or products would be unknown / unavailable here - general advice is great though!!
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
thankyou...
Kabin
Konteyner
mega kabin
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Thanks for writing this article! It's very easy to get discouraged by kids' picky eating habits and succumb to their often less-than-nutritious culinary desires. But with over 1 in 4 American children currently malnourished, we need to make a constant effort to keep them fed, and fed well!
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
My youngest wont sit down to eat without a glass of juice or water to drink. Everyone's panicking that he is "filling up with liquids and not getting enough nutrients". However, as fat grown ups, we are told to have a drink of water before or with our meal so that we eat less!!! So I reckon it's a good habit and I don't want to discourage him from doing that.
He's a healthy boy, fit & strong and energetic. Can't see why the grannies are making a fuss!!
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Eating with children is always an emotional subject. I am a preschool teacher and worked with parents to assist them with eating diss - orders too. My son was the 'classical' example of food issues. Ever since breast feeding, he was a slow eater, slow means at least 1 hour per meal or longer, no matter whether is was hot or cold food. It took me a while to find out, meal times were special to him, because he had my full attention and thoroughly enjoyed sitting and enjoying his meal while having me just for himself. What he was eating was another subject. We were fortunate to have a little garden where we grew various veggies, fruits and herbs. Growing and nurturing the garden made him more interested and mostly everthing was 'tasted' before it even came into our kitchen, so he was always taught to try and had choices for foods himself. Like everyone, taste changes and apart from making sure he gets a good variety of foods, I never 'forced' him to eat anything he didn't like. Instead I praised and motivated a 'try-bite' and made sure, he was not only with me in the kitchen, but, always according to his age, gave him 'little-helper-chores' to involve him the the preparation and cooking process. Same with my nursery and school groups. Keeping a little veggy and herb patch is possible everywhere and a cooking day per week can easily be planned into the themed learning plan. My son's still a slow eater and will happily tell everyone he's 'enjoying his food', when someone tries to
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
My daughter won't eat red meats, really. However, it's not a concern to me. I've switched from ground hamburger to ground turkey for... anything you'd use ground hamburger in. When it's spaghetti, there's a wonderful, italian spiced ground turkey you can buy- or you can get the plain and cook it in herbs and spices yourself. They have one for taco stuff, too. She loves fish, including salmon... and chicken. She'll basically eat white meat and anything in the seafood section of the grocery store. I can't buy shrimp because she'll eat the whole package in a sitting, I swear! But... if I buy beef, she won't touch it. She loves vegetables, fruit and pretty much anything I make. I can't buy that quick to make stuff, like mac and cheese or chef boyardee... or even frozen dinners. She refuses to eat them, which is fine by me, except on days when my RA is really getting to me. Oh, she complains every day about the school food but I think that's because she wants to have a lunch box. Drink-wise, she likes tea, milk, juice, definitely water... she asks for water more than anything... we make fruit smoothies, too. She'd probably like soda but never asks for it, so I never get it. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess?
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
I just had to laugh - when I was about four my mother went into a blind panic and rushed me off to the pediatrician and said, "she's not eating! What's wrong?!" Well the pediatrician looked me over a tad, talked with me (to the degree that he could considering that I was four years old and didn't like him very much), and then came back out with the diagnosis. "Well," he said with a thinly veiled urge to laugh out loud, "I know why she isn't eating." My mother was so wrapped up in her worries that she didn't notice that he obviously wasn't concerned about anything..."oh, why, what's wrong?!" He replied, "she isn't eating because she isn't hungry. Leave her alone. She'll eat when she's ready. You're making her nuts."
Sometimes it really is "just a phase."
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
While the point is obviously valid, I had to laugh when I read "A child that witnesses a parent’s love affair with a spinach salad will no doubt have some curiosity about such unknown pleasures." Because of conflicting work schedules, I'm the only parent my (nearly 5-yr-old) son dines with, most of the time. I'm a food-loving kitchen-happy vegetarian. He sees me eat vegetables daily, in a variety of forms. Even so, he will not take even one "no thank-you bite" of what I prepare. I do prepare separate meals for him, which is frustrating, but I don't know what else to do. Worried about his weight and health, I recently overhauled his diet, taking regular hotdogs, frozen chicken nuggets and french fries, and boxed mac n cheese completely off the menu. But while those things have been replaced with veggie dogs, and healthier, homemade versions of nuggets, fries, and mac n cheese, vegetables are still a source of stress for us. I know there are parents who refuse to prepare separate meals, and who employ the "eat it or go hungry" rule. I've chosen not to, because I feel it would make are family table an even more stressful place to be, for both my child and myself. Which leaves me at a loss. It took us months the convince my son to try one bite of mashed potatoes. So the possibility of getting him to get within inches of broccoli seems almost too much to hope for.
@Katja: Thank you. I will explore your website.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Facebook account: