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How to Clean Without Really Cleaning

Now you have to deal with all the clutter. Youíve got books, unopened mail, and yet-to-be-thrown-away packaging everywhere. You donít have time to sort through it all and decide what can be thrown out, so youíre just going to stack it on any flat surface you can find. Youíll put the biggest thing at the bottom of the stack and the smallest thing on top, forming a random-stuff pyramid. But, itíll look like you purposefully organized it that way. ďHe must always keep his ‘Dear Resident’ promotional postcards atop his shoebox and a clipboard,Ē your friend will think to himself.

All you have left to do now is make your place smell like itís clean. Itís easy. Youíll just pour a little bleach into your kitchen sink and let the antiseptic fumes waft into the other rooms.

Finally your friend will show up. He or she is going to be so impressed with you. Much more impressed than you are with them. If they were impressive you would have actually cleaned.

Related:
How to Clean Your House When You’re Busy
Battle the Top 10 Germ Hot Spots
12 Tips to End Clutter

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52 comments

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11:35AM PDT on Sep 3, 2012

Does anybody like ironing?
I hate it! Especially when it's hot!
A quick way? I bend the clothes and sit on it. Done!

11:53AM PDT on Aug 28, 2012

or you could just actually clean on a regular basis and put 15 mins aside ech day to pick up. if it helps, pretend your in laws are on their way

6:18PM PDT on Aug 2, 2012

If you don't want to clean at all when unexpected visitors call, put king-size "Get Well" card on top of that pile on the coffee table. Friend will think you've been ill and won't even notice the mess.

6:18PM PDT on Aug 2, 2012

If you don't want to clean at all when unexpected visitors call, put king-size "Get Well" card on top of that pile on the coffee table. Friend will think you've been ill and won't even notice the mess.

8:24AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

Intriguing. Usually my place is fairly clean, neat, lots of knicknacks, tons of plants, one 16 year old blind cat that owns me and would toss me off the balcony if I opened a bottle of stinky bleach to pour down the sink. She allows me to put water and vinegar into a pot, bring it to a boil and add a cinnamon stick and cloves and a bit of dried orange peel.

7:43AM PDT on Jul 18, 2012

funny and sadly so true. real friends know what a slob you are anyway, no use trying to impress now.

1:19AM PDT on Jul 14, 2012

It's amazing that people insist on using harsh sprays to do something as trivial as wiping crumbs from a coffee table. Water and a cloth is all that's needed the majority of the time.

I heard an interesting story the other day. This person, let's called him John, said he doesn't clean his house very often. But when he does clean, he likes to use bleach as to him it "smells clean". To John, I say this; if you want a clean house, keep it clean!

8:30PM PDT on Jul 9, 2012

Um, no. You clean until there isn't any dirt/mess. None of this half-a**ed stuff.

5:47AM PDT on Jul 9, 2012

I hate clutter, and I think it is much easier to keep a clean , tidy home, if you keep on top of the work each day. NEVER WAIT until it is really dirty!!! What a horrid way to live. I can't relax if I am sitting seeing jobs that need doing. I must admit itis harder when children are young, and you are out at work, though.

11:04AM PDT on Jul 8, 2012

:)

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