How to Feed a Friendship: 5 Tips

Everybody needs friends! Having someone to laugh with, cry with–someone who understands and cares and supports you–is part of what makes life worth living. But in today’s busy world, we often don’t make enough time to nurture those friendships that are so essential.

Here are five tips that are the equivalent of friendship vitamins, sure to help a relationship flourish. Read them here:

1. Pay attention. Keep tabs on the significant events in a friend’s life. Did her daughter just head off to college? Call to see how she’s holding up and invite her over for coffee. Did her dad have bypass surgery? Check in.

2. Exercise your dialing finger. Okay, most of us have touch-tone phones, but you get the idea: Friendship thrives on knowing the minutiae of each other’s lives. You can’t know them unless you stay in touch. Don’t quibble about whose turn it is to call.

3. Crack open your datebook. The happiest women wedge spaces into their week for pals no matter how busy they are. They meet for muffins before work, hit side-by-side treadmills at the health club, sashay out for dinner on a weeknight. Make it a non-negotiable date.

4. Raise a flute of champagne. Sure, we need people when life clops us between the eyes. But it’s just as important to cheer the victories. Did she finally finish her master’s thesis or nab a promotion? Take her out to lunch or send her a note.

5. Rain compliments. Most of us don’t get a lot of strokes–from our boss, our family, or our kids. That’s what friends are for. I know a woman who makes me feel gorgeous and brilliant–well, at least attractive and capable–nearly every time we talk. How could you not love her?

Read more: Spirit, Guidance, Self-Help

Adapted from The Friendship Crisis, by Marla Paul (Rodale Press, 2004). Copyright (c) 2004 by Marla Paul. Reprinted by permission of Rodale Press.
Adapted from The Friendship Crisis, by Marla Paul (Rodale Press, 2004).

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Susan S.

9:56AM PDT on Apr 13, 2010

Celebrating life, keeping in touch, active listening and nurturing are all great ways of keeping friendships alive. Thanks.

send a green star

Amy H.

12:37PM PST on Jan 17, 2009

Treat people the way you wish to be treated. You cant go wrong that way.

Past Member .

6:51AM PST on Jan 16, 2009

Thanks for the tips on friendship. I'm not a good verbal communicator, and it can be difficult for me to develop lasting relationships. Your post has reminded me that I need to make a couple of phonecalls today.

dve d.

6:40PM PST on Jan 8, 2009

woundnt it be nice if the world peoples who unite with one another
what a peacefull and wonderfull world this would be

Annie O.

11:54PM PST on Jan 7, 2009

My nana used to say 'There is nothing sader than a friend once gained, lost through neglect.' I have lived by this all my life. Maintaining contact with friends by email, letter, telephone, greeting cards - theres so many ways th

Brigid H.

4:13AM PST on Jan 7, 2009

Tia P about your customers, how about finding out if you have similiar interests in say musical events, art events, fairs, other events etc. and if there is something on perhaps see if you could arrange to meet. I can see how it can be awkward though in a professional setting, but I don't think this should prevent you from friendship with people you feel a connection with.

Tia P.

1:00PM PDT on Jun 4, 2008

Since moving 1000 miles from my women friends, the only women I meet are my customers. I like some of them a lot and would like to be friends with them, but I'm unsure how to appropriately cross over from a customer-professional relationship to friendship without making things uncomfortable professionally. Any suggestions?

Dottie L.

11:48PM PDT on May 21, 2008

I am thankful for freedom. I work to combat modern slavery(human trafficking) and I have learned fom the victims and the traffickers what freedom and lack of freedom truly means. I use everyday to freed those held in servitude. People often think my job is dark and sometimes it is but it is also responsible for the most wonderful days that I never even knew to how wish for.

Manuel D.

9:49PM PDT on May 21, 2008

txs. Real friends are scarce and it sure is good to be able to keep them.

Tatiana A. K.

7:44AM PDT on May 21, 2008

Being on life support makes you think deeper,broader,and with gratitude for the time you have left.Can't get out much, but using my time constructively here to gain 1 million signatures for those imprisoned, tortured, being killed for their organs and tissues in Communist China.If we can gain 1 million signatures,health God willing, will take it personally to the UN to show in the people's name, we request the lives of innocent children and adults be spared from such unjust human rights violations.We have to remember their are those who have less freedoms than we do every day.Our actions and thoughts must be a positive reflection of what we feel inside and justly put into action for all. Conscience is the moral compass which allows peoples and nations to flourish. I believe no matter what your disabilities are,even if you can't leave home or your bed, you can do something lasting to leave as a legacy as a person, as a peoples, as a nation.Hopefully others will believe this and we will gain, 1 million signatures. I don't knwo many people, but by the kindness of Care2, already 201 signatures we have. i am grateful for the signatures beyond words. Thank you so much for your backers, and dedicated peoples who visit this site. For people as myself on life support, you make 'hope' and 'support' of particular relevance, when you think your signature may well save many millions of peoples. This is what gratitude means to our non-profit, and to me. Thanks Care2 and God Bless.