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How to Find the Friends You Need

How to Find the Friends You Need

What matters most in life is relationships. They define the quality of your time on Earth and determine the legacy you leave behind. Reaching out to people and letting them into your heart offers you – and them – the warmth and comfort that only deeply caring friends can bestow.

So why aren’t more of us able to establish these critical connections? The answer’s simple – fear. And getting past it is the first hurdle to building lasting, meaningful relationships. Facing your fear isn’t easy, but in relationship building, like bodybuilding, it’s no pain, no gain.

Many of us fear opening up because we’ve chosen badly in the past – making ourselves vulnerable to people who aren’t trustworthy and who used our openness against us. Before you can open your heart to someone, you have to be able to trust that person. So look for a potential friend who has a reputation for being reliable and who you look up to and respect – someone who you feel can keep your confidences. Ask around: does this person have a reputation for gossiping and talking about other people’s personal business, or is he or she able to maintain confidences?

Then have coffee with your prospective friend and discuss what you have to offer and what you expect in return. First agree that your conversations will remain confidential, so you’ll both feel safe sharing your feelings. Pledge that you’ll honor each other’s feelings as each other’s absolute truths, to be listened to without opinion or judgment. Of course, you can argue personal opinions about politics, current events, science, sports, music, art, and whatever other interests you have; but accept that each of you is the ultimate authority on his or her feelings….Continue reading at

The author of Act Like A Man, Ken Solin works with men to help them move beyond the issues that limit their lives.

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2:57AM PDT on Jun 10, 2014

My best, best friend is my husband. Yes, I guess I did interview him when we met by asking questions about his life.

My other best friend, I met the first day of high school. We have been friends for 47 years!! I don't think I interviewed her. I think we just grew up together!!

11:27AM PDT on Apr 4, 2014


5:14AM PDT on Apr 3, 2014

Be the friend we need

11:40AM PDT on Apr 1, 2014

Not at all sure I'd interview someone with a series of to do's in order to become a friend. I think instead I'd prefer to observe how they treated others. If I liked what a saw I think I'd like them as a friend.

4:44AM PDT on Apr 1, 2014

Thank you :)

3:23AM PDT on Mar 30, 2014

Visit and be member of care2 :)

8:32AM PDT on Mar 28, 2014


1:37PM PDT on Mar 27, 2014

some people who seem to be "friends" are not. Should I call them adult bullies? a lot of people are very manipulative and play people against each other. So it is hard to know who 2 trust. A person I thought completely trustworthy turned out to be a really mean person.
So do I trust no one? I have 2 good my cats lol

6:28PM PDT on Mar 26, 2014


7:29PM PDT on Mar 25, 2014

wonderful reminders. ty.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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