How to Find the Friends You Need

What matters most in life is relationships. They define the quality of your time on Earth and determine the legacy you leave behind. Reaching out to people and letting them into your heart offers you – and them – the warmth and comfort that only deeply caring friends can bestow.

So why aren’t more of us able to establish these critical connections? The answer’s simple – fear. And getting past it is the first hurdle to building lasting, meaningful relationships. Facing your fear isn’t easy, but in relationship building, like bodybuilding, it’s no pain, no gain.

Many of us fear opening up because we’ve chosen badly in the past – making ourselves vulnerable to people who aren’t trustworthy and who used our openness against us. Before you can open your heart to someone, you have to be able to trust that person. So look for a potential friend who has a reputation for being reliable and who you look up to and respect – someone who you feel can keep your confidences. Ask around: does this person have a reputation for gossiping and talking about other people’s personal business, or is he or she able to maintain confidences?

Then have coffee with your prospective friend and discuss what you have to offer and what you expect in return. First agree that your conversations will remain confidential, so you’ll both feel safe sharing your feelings. Pledge that you’ll honor each other’s feelings as each other’s absolute truths, to be listened to without opinion or judgment. Of course, you can argue personal opinions about politics, current events, science, sports, music, art, and whatever other interests you have; but accept that each of you is the ultimate authority on his or her feelings….Continue reading at

The author of Act Like A Man, Ken Solin works with men to help them move beyond the issues that limit their lives.

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Magdalena J.
Alice L.1 years ago

Thank you!

Magdalena J.
Alice L.2 years ago

Thank you!

Jayasri Amma
Jayasri Amma2 years ago

Thank you!

Debbie Crowe
Debbie Crowe2 years ago

My best, best friend is my husband. Yes, I guess I did interview him when we met by asking questions about his life.

My other best friend, I met the first day of high school. We have been friends for 47 years!! I don't think I interviewed her. I think we just grew up together!!

Stanley R.
Stanley R.2 years ago


Fi T.
Fi T.2 years ago

Be the friend we need

Kath P.
Kath P.2 years ago

Not at all sure I'd interview someone with a series of to do's in order to become a friend. I think instead I'd prefer to observe how they treated others. If I liked what a saw I think I'd like them as a friend.

Elena T.
Elena Poensgen2 years ago

Thank you :)

Dimitris Dallis
Past Member 2 years ago

Visit and be member of care2 :)

Chloe R.
Chloe R.2 years ago