http://www.care2.com/greenliving/how-to-let-go-of-guilt.html
How To Let Go of Guilt
By Debbie Mandel, Intent.com
Nowadays the recession is not only depleting our finances, but is triggering guilty feelings like surviving a job layoff when a colleague or friend has been let go. You might be surprised to learn that it’s not just a crime or a lie that makes most of us feel guilty, rather happiness and fun. Consider the phrase: “I’m so happy that I just can’t stand it!” Or are you afraid of being jinxed if you own your success or do you keep a low profile because of that ubiquitous evil eye? Ever wonder why sex falls by the wayside for many people — it’s the guilt about experiencing pleasure.
Here are some things we typically feel guilty about: eating, sex, shopping, switching doctors and requesting our medical records, taking time out for the self, caregiving and saying no.
However, don’t feel guilty about feeling guilty! You have your work cut out for you shedding the guilt that was passed down to you from generations of parents and educators urging you to conform and be nice. It’s time to get rid of tribal beliefs which no longer resonate for you and make your own decisions. If life gives you lemons, you don’t have to make lemonade. Just throw away the lemons. When you feel guilty, have regular reasonable dialogues with yourself because guilt is illogical.
Tips to let go of guilt:
* Stop being your own judge and jury: failure and success are matters of perception; today’s failure could be tomorrow’s success. You can’t see the whole picture because you are too close to it. For example, you were late and missed the plane — maybe you were lucky.
* Practice expressing what you need along with your honest feelings to silence that “I should have said…” voice that you hear after the fact. Begin with little things and see how good you feel. “Honey, could you please bring me the morning paper, and a cup of coffee.” Note the surprise when you ask. Affirm and compliment those who carry out your bidding.
* When it comes to sex, your sexual fire and fantasies are free – they don’t come with a moral code. Use your head to rehearse sex in your brain. Free your fantasies.
* Create a guilt-free zone at home, a space for yourself, and take off your wrist watch to feel truly unlimited. This could be a corner of a room, a desk, or the bathtub with little knick-knacks that remind you not to feel guilty like a photo of a cloud floating in a blue sky.
* Every day treat yourself to something special and savor it. For me it’s dark chocolate.
* Find an animal (animals don’t feel guilty) to symbolize who you are the way Native American Indians built their totem poles. Try not to choose a chicken! A tiger or a horse is a better choice.
Intent.com provides content and community for who you aspire to be–personally, socially and globally.
More from Megan, selected from Intent.com (28 articles available)
related stories
-
(1 comment)
-
(155 comments)
-
(17 comments)
Robyn
Melissa
Deepak
Eric
Dave
Dr. Brent
Isha
Susan
Delia
Michelle
Wendy
Megan
Hilary
Ann
Judi
Ronnie
Kelly
Lily
Terri
Betsy
Cait
Andrew
Jana
Annie B.
Veronica
16 comments
add your comment »Thank you so much! I do feel guilty about the things you mentioned even I know it's not reasonable to do so. There's also that feeling that I owe the world and everyone something so if I say "no" I'm bad and ungrateful. Gotta work on it.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Thank U Megan =) It was a very good article with so much good points to have in our mind when we try to feel free of guild.
Kindly Maritha Bergman.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Thanking for your article and the comments. I have a special concern about protecting children from abuse, especially in times when things are going bad for people. The impulse to retaliate is directed against someone weaker. But also overprotection which is like stealing someone's soul is the echo of that deadliest of sins; false pride or Hubris. Following that is the avaricious drive for power that too many consider a virtue.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Animals react the same way as humans with poor consciousness do, without using their mind connection with the Divine. Feeling guilty required some inner reflection though which can helps us to choose and act consciously.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
The fact that dogs and other animals experience guilt is not a sign of their inferiority to human beings. It means that they are aware of how their actions affect others. That is actually a sign of higher consciousness. We first have to get to the point where we can "balance the books." If we have no conscience and cannot see the error of our ways or how we affect others, then I don't think that this is evidence of higher consciousness. I would think that evolved beings are ultra sensitive regarding how their actions affect others. For beings who are not there yet, guilt has a place...
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Don't we have the choice to grow and elevate our mind? The animal kingdom don't, their interest is primarily based on the survival. The human kingdom has grown a bit higher than surviving. It's really up to us to integrate this higher consciousness.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Animals do feel guilty, especially dogs.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Guilt comes from our unconscious living. It has a limited perspective into it rather than living fully with our open mind and with our giving heart. Guilt is only growing with our rational mind which limits our view on our own feelings and people feelings as well.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
I still deeply believe that guilt does have a place in self-reflection on one's behavior--especially if that behavior is reprehensible. As a former teacher, I've seen way too many examples of what happens when children are provided no moral compass and truly lack empathy for others. Guilt should NOT be an eternal prison--just as anger or shame should not be, but it still has its place. It has a place in helping us to form values and become emotionally mature and responsible members of society..It is a part of the Universe. The Universe clearly is not a "guilt-free" zone.....
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
I've seen several of my friends lose their jobs, their homes to foreclosure, and lose their medical benefits. One of my friends has no medical insurance and has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I thank God that I am lucky to have a good job with benefits and own a home, being single.
I don't feel guilty, I feel for my friends and help out as best as I can. I've given them rides when cars break down and buy a few extra groceries that I share when I can. It makes me feel good, without the burden of feeling guilty! It could be me in their shoes, and know I would like help when needed.
send green star | flag as inappropriate
why is this inappropriate?
Facebook account: