It can be challenging to let your partner know you love them when the two of you have different basic personality types: misunderstandings can occur. Extroverts can feel introverts’ need for distance as rejection. Introverts can think extroverts are smothering or intrusive.
So here is a handy little checklist of five ways to love your favorite introvert. Oh, and for all of you who love extroverts, there’s one for you, too! Find out how to express your love to an introvert (or an extrovert) in a way that she or he will understand, here:
How to Love an Introvert
Attention: Show an awareness and loyalty that she will not interpret as scrutiny or intrusion.
Acceptance: Validate her need for distance without taking it as rejection.
Affection: Let her give the signal for closeness of any kind.
Appreciation: Express gratitude for and recognition of kindness, and a willingness to accommodate you.
Allowing: Respect her need to be alone until she asks for time together.
How to Love an Extrovert
Attention: Take frequent notice of and an active interest in what she is doing.
Acceptance: Show that you are on her side and at her side.
Affection: Be frequently demonstrative–physically and verbally–of your love.
Appreciation: Make frequent mention and on special occasions a special mention of your recognition.
Allowing: Join her and share in her interests in some way as often as possible.
Adapted from How to Be An Adult in Relationships, by David Richo (Shambhala, 2002). Copyright (c) 2002 by David Richo. Reprinted by permission of Shambhala.
Adapted from How to Be An Adult in Relationships, by David Richo (Shambhala, 2002).