Meditation is very important here because it not only invites us to witness anger, but also to get to know and make friends with ourselves. It gives us a midpoint between expressing anger and repressing it, a place where we can voice our feelings with awareness and acceptance. It also gives us the ability to see our feelings and not be swept away by them, even to see anger before it affects us.
Meditation is not a cure-all; it is not going to make all our difficulties go away or suddenly transform our weaknesses into strengths, but it does enable us to rest in an inclusive acceptance of who we are. This does not make us perfect, simply more fully human.
Don’t Even Pick It Up
In our relationship we have added a few more ways to work with anger. We are all familiar with the phrase, Let it go, but this can be difficult when it comes to anger, even though holding on just causes further pain and grief. Through awareness we have learned to let go as it arises. Once something has been expressed and fully acknowledged, we immediately move on.
But our favorite is not to even pick it up in the first place! Thank goodness for meditation!
Cooling Anger Meditation
Before you start this practice and the heat of anger is still with you, breathe into your anger: breathe in deeply and with each out breath release and blow out your feelings. Then, to calm and resolve your feelings do the following:
Sit comfortably, take a deep breath and let it go. Focus your attention on your breathing and, more specifically, on where you are breathing. During heated exchanges we usually breathe very shallow and rapid breaths, high in the upper part of the chest. By calming your breathing, you will also calm your nerves, blood pressure, and emotions.
Now bring your breathing down into your mid-chest area, which means breathing more deeply and slowly. Do this for a few minutes, then try to move your breathing even further down, so that you are taking even deeper and longer breaths into your belly. Stay here for a few minutes, as your whole being cools down.
When you are fully chilled, bring your breathing back up to the chest area, and see if you can breathe naturally there, without having to go higher into your upper chest.
How do you deal with your anger? Do comment below.