Do you ever get uncomfortable with compliments? I used to not be able to take a compliment because I didn’t believe it. I felt so awkward and I would bumble around, looking for something to say in return that was just as kind or I would quickly change the subject. The compliment didn’t stick with me because I figured the person was just being nice.
Isn’t it funny how even when someone said a compliment about me, I thought it was about them — about how they were being a kind and friendly person. I figured that they must have seen just how pathetic I was and wanted to cheer me up. I appreciated the effort, but to me, there was no way that they actually believed what they were saying.
As I grow in my sense of self-worth by doing things like being my own best friend, accepting criticism, and redefining the meaning of happiness, I start to believe in the kind things that people say to me. And I’m starting to see myself differently.
Because, you see, I used to think that these “nice people” had it all wrong. They just didn’t understand how worthless I was. “Luckily,” I had an accurate image of myself — or so I thought. I focused on all of the negative aspects of my personality and felt that I knew every single one of my flaws. My days were all about counting all the things that I did that were “wrong” or how I did not measure up to my outrageously high standards. For example, I would eat an extra cookie and think that meant that I was a horrible person. Or I would arrive late somewhere and think that meant that I was a sorry excuse for a human being. Compliments? Ha, I didn’t deserve those. But I definitely deserved the criticism I gave myself — or even worse.
But something to understand — especially if you have low self-esteem — is that every person has weaknesses and strengths. When you are so down on yourself, you lose focus on the things that make you great. Maybe you aren’t the most organized person in the world, but you can make people laugh and forget their problems. Maybe you sometimes speak before thinking, but you also are always there for someone when they need you. You aren’t perfect — and knowing that you can never be may sting for a while. But that’s just the truth.
But you know what else is true? The fact that you are great. And even if you feel you aren’t, you have it inside of you to be great. And that’s not just me being nice — it’s the truth. So, start thinking about the compliments people have given you — and accept them. When someone says something kind, say thank you and believe it. Start believing that you are a kind, good, healthy, and friendly person… and eventually, you won’t have to convince yourself because it will be stunningly evident.
Image Credit: Andreyah Portilla / Flickr