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In Relationships, Undivided Attention is Necessary

In Relationships, Undivided Attention is Necessary

My fiancé and I just returned from two days in Yosemite.  It was a wonderful trip – despite the fact that it was raining constantly.  We were able to get a little bit of hiking in – but more important was the time we spent together without distractions.

My fiancé left his phone at home and I had no signal.  We did not bring our computers or iPads so, even though we spent more time driving around the park than hiking, we still had two entire days to dedicate our complete attention to each other.  Though we spend a great deal of time together and we make a point of respectfully listening to one another, the two-day respite from technological distractions was refreshing.

In any kind of relationship, it is important that we set aside time to give our undivided attention to one another.  Even if the topics of conversation are not particularly deep, simply being fully present for one another is invaluable.  We do not often take time to do that these days.  Technology is a blessing in many ways, but it has its downfalls, as well.

Being constantly connected often takes us away from the present moment.  For example, tweeting about the concert you are attending takes you away from the present experience of the concert.  This inability to be present is possibly most detrimental when it comes to relationships.  When we notice that others are not giving us their full attention, we feel as if they do not regard what we are saying as important.  Creating time and space to devote to truly listening to and communicating with others, therefore, is extremely important to the maintenance of healthy relationships.


Read more: Love, Relationships, Spirit, Spirituality and Technology

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Sarah Cooke

Sarah Cooke is a writer living in California. She is interested in organic food and green living. Sarah holds an M.F.A. in Creative Writing from Naropa University, an M.A. in Humanities from NYU, and a B.A. in Political Science from Loyola Marymount University. She has written for a number of publications, and she studied Pastry Arts at the Institute for Culinary Education. Her interests include running, yoga, baking, and poetry. Read more on her blog.


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8:33PM PDT on Jun 4, 2012


12:58PM PDT on May 17, 2012

I often end up not taking a lot of pictures of things in favor of actually experiencing them. My wife and I just took a long trip, and while we only have a few pictures to show for it, we both had many great experiences together, and it was a worthwhile endeavor (even if we can only share a few highlights.

10:47PM PDT on May 6, 2012

My husband and I spend at least one day a week without the phones and computers. Today we went geo caching, and had a bbq. It allows us to talk, spend time together and connect. It keeps our relationship in balance and reminds us what is important.

2:52PM PDT on May 1, 2012

You are right on the dot Sarah, I am very happy for you two.

5:40AM PDT on May 1, 2012

I agree. Way too much use of electronics in our daily lives, too!

11:18PM PDT on Apr 30, 2012

My wife now uses ear buds around the house occasionally to listen to audio books. Thank goodness that's all it is. At our age, I thought she was going deaf the first few times I had to yell at her to get her attention.

2:11PM PDT on Apr 30, 2012

sounds like a great time. the most important thing in a relationship is getting to know one another as much as possible before making a complete commitment

12:30PM PDT on Apr 30, 2012

absolutely! thnx

12:13PM PDT on Apr 30, 2012

thanks for sharing

11:31AM PDT on Apr 30, 2012


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