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Insuring Your Love

Insuring Your Love

For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice – no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service.  ~John Burroughs

It is perhaps the deepest aspect of our human nature to seek security and assurance. This innate need is the foundation of our survival mechanism and fuels the multibillion dollar insurance industry. We spend an increasing percentage of our income to feel covered and yet the unending national conversation about not being sufficiently insured dominates. We look outside of ourselves to secure our future happiness, instead of inside our heart and the relationships that help us become the best part of ourselves. Imagine if some small percentage of all the attention, energy and resources we spend on health, property and life insurance was devoted to implementing a program to insure our loving relationships.

Hundreds of studies demonstrate the powerful impact that healthy intimate relationships have on our wellbeing over time. Not only do they make us physically, emotionally and mentally more fit over our lifetime, but they also increase our standard of living. Humans are herd animals and we experience more of life as a member of a tribe that loves us. What would a policy look like that covers your capacity to love and be loved? A good policy would clearly delineate the relationship as a separate entity. It would make it clear that you and your partner are not the relationship. It would insure the relationship as the vessel that holds the intentions, interactions and emotions that you each contribute.

Would your loving relationship be considered a good risk or is it so full of pre-existing conditions that the vessel is no longer recognizable? Love insurance gives the best rates to the ability to be present in this moment, not lost in the calculations of what has been lost before.  Just as current models of health insurance demand consumers to make healthy choices around diet and exercise, love insurance would demand that you fortify your vessel by showing up for your partner and learning to listen more than you expect to be heard.

Paying our insurance premiums make us recognize the value of our home, our car and our health. The investment itself makes us proactive about keeping up with the details of maintenance, whether it is a leaky roof or annual exam. Paying a love insurance premium would require the same attention to the details of your heart and is another way of thinking about the value of keeping your word and honoring your promises. In this way, we get over our immature idea that love should be easy or exists only to make us happy.

Consider creating a love insurance policy that honors the container of your love as the space where you discover and cultivate the best part of yourself. In the tumultuous changing world we live in, it will ultimately bolster your sense of security better than any other policy in your desk drawer.

Related:

The Foreplay Cure
Love is Spaciousness
Love is How We Sustain

Read more: Ask the Loveologist, Guidance, Love, Making Love Sustainable, Relationships, Sex, Spirit

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Wendy Strgar

Wendy Strgar, founder and CEO of Good Clean Love, is a loveologist who writes and lectures on Making Love Sustainable, a green philosophy of relationships which teaches the importance of valuing the renewable resources of love, intimacy and family.  In her new book, Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy,  she tackles the challenging issues of sustaining relationships and healthy intimacy with an authentic and disarming style and simple yet innovative adviceIt has been called "the essential guide for relationships."  The book is available on ebook.  Wendy has been married for 27 years to her husband, a psychiatrist, and lives with their four children ages 13- 22 in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

32 comments

+ add your own
10:46PM PST on Dec 11, 2012

Interesting approach

10:12AM PST on Dec 1, 2012

Thank your for sharing.

2:22PM PST on Nov 29, 2012

Thanks noted.

8:19AM PST on Nov 29, 2012

thanks

1:23AM PST on Dec 26, 2011

Thanks for the article.

8:13PM PDT on Sep 11, 2011

Interesting thought.

12:22PM PDT on Aug 26, 2011

Love yourself first and foremost. Love is not to be found "out there", but always inside of you. Remember, the only person qualified to live up to your expectations is YOU. ;-)

5:39PM PDT on Aug 22, 2011

I don't think in today's economy.....an extra "bill" would help things......
(Sorry,couldn't resist.)

4:04PM PDT on Aug 19, 2011

Thank you--('',)ʃ✿L㋡VE ❤

7:37AM PDT on Aug 19, 2011

thanks.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
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