Internet Dating: 8 DOs and DON'Ts

My sister Jaime came into my office today and told me that one of our clients called and she needed to speak with us. I dropped everything, dialed her number and put her on speaker phone. Prepared for a serious conversation, Jaime and I grabbed our notepads. She answered and we began talking business, but we quickly realized that she was not calling for business purposes but personal. She bellowed “I think you and Jaime should teach classes on internet dating. I’m starting to get on some dating sites and don’t know what to do! HELP!” We all laughed and started to answer questions based on our experiences.

This is the 6th part of Breaking the Dysfunctional Dating Cycle & Find Love series. Reading the first 5 articles would be a great idea in order for you to be current on what this article contains. Click here to read the previous articles.

The potential for meeting someone and falling in love through one of the various internet dating sites is huge. Naturally it is not the only way to meet someone, but dating sites have opened up a whole new world to thousands of people all around the world who are looking for love. My sister Jaime and I are living proof.

Jaime met her husband on match.com. After a few months of dating and weeding out men that were not a fit for her, she went out on a date with a man one evening who three years later became her husband. Jaime’s goal was to meet someone gentle, kind, loving, honest and compassionate. Her husband has all these qualities and more!

Next: 8 Dos and Don’ts of Internet Dating

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

Lenee K.

10:07AM PDT on Sep 25, 2012

I got it.. I am on the wrong site/side of the planet! & a fool to think I can meet someone serious from another country, must be out of my mind! Thanks for this nonetheless!!!!

September 25
send a green star

Akpu J.

3:10PM PDT on May 30, 2012

Interesting article! Kudos for sharing.

May 30
send a green star

4:41PM PDT on Jun 14, 2011

Just don't get stupid and pack your suitcases and head for a bus station in which he will never appear!

Hey, things like that have happened.

Or you give your address and some bum smelling of beer is at your door, "Hi, darling. I'm Jim. Let's do it."

There are strange people in this world. Use your smarts.,

June 14
send a green star

Jamie C.

9:19AM PDT on May 16, 2011

I am not sure I would agree with number 4. keep it short and sweet. Something like “I saw your profile and thought you looked interesting. Tell me something about yourself”
If this person is not worth a long message to learn more about each other then they are not worth meeting. It is so frustrating trying to communicate with someone who only replies with one or two lines of text when you are trying to find out as much as you can about them so that you can find out if you are compatible.

May 16
send a green star

Tish L.

8:38AM PDT on May 16, 2011

Good advice! Thanks!

Chavonne H.

4:00PM PST on Feb 13, 2011

everyone I've ever dated I've met on the internet and I'm sure I've done all the don'ts.

February 13
send a green star

7:37AM PST on Dec 20, 2010

I did met once someone through the internet but when it came to a meeting point he was just not the person I met on the net. Well honestly, my grandma is 85 and she still has boyfriends. I'm not worried of being alone, she's a great example.

December 20
send a green star

LK S.

6:56AM PST on Dec 20, 2010

I'm with Larry: living in a place where the pool of compatible people (for friendship OR love) is tiny, internet dating means long-distance dating. Who's going to fly halfway across the country or world for a 20-minute coffee date? That's unrealistic. And I agree with him about the substantive profiles, as well. I'll read every word if the words are interesting to me.

But I do also know firsthand the dangers of getting overexcited about someone before meeting them. It's happened to me: we exchanged long intellectual emails, had long phone conversations discussing everything under the sun, and after three months met in person in a neutral city. My heart sank at first meeting, because he clearly was not a match for me. It wasn't that his photos weren't representative, or that the emails and phone conversations weren't reflective of his real views. It was just that ineffable something--his mannerisms and affect, a lack of chemistry. It was disappointing to have poured so much energy into a hope that turned out to be false, but on the other hand I wouldn't have felt comfortable meeting him any sooner. It's just one of the drawbacks of the process, and I don't see a good way around it.

Belle F.

3:43AM PST on Dec 20, 2010

Hmm, I'm just a teen, so I don't use internet dating websites, but I'm just here to say that good people exist on the net! It's not all psychos. I met this guy on a Gaia-esque game in a chatroom. All of us were saying what time it was where we were, and me and him said the same time. I asked him if he lived in the same place I do, and he said yeah. I asked him about a convention and whether or not he went to it, and he said yes (we both lek3 with anime and manga), so we started chatting on msn. We decided to meet up at the convention nearly straight away, as we just 'clicked' - and via webcam we figured out that neither of us were fifty year old perverted men. As it is, I convinced my mum to come with me to the convention, and she said she would. I met him, and he was just as princely in person as on line! We've known each other for almost a year, and I consider him a close friend. We intend to meet up at the next convention next year with our friends and my aunt, so it'll be much fun!

These situations just need to be taken with a certain amount of caution. Did I know he wasn't a lying so-and-so at first? Not at all. Did I know that he wasn't a murderer even after we webcammed? Again, I couldn't be sure at all. I just took a bit of a leap of faith with my mothers hand to guide me (yeah, I looked lame, but he was well aware of how weird I am and how much I love my mummy) and two years of martial arts whirring around my head. :)
Trust your instincts - but don't depend on th

Dace K.

4:11PM PST on Dec 16, 2010

i think its the very best truth - just to meet the person in live, somewhere in public place, to get to know him. chatting on internet is just for already known people or with someone you you will never meet - like anonymous chat