Is Attachment Love?

One way that people deprive themselves of love is especially confusing because it seems to be a way to increase it. This is attachment. In its mildest form, attachment is the desire to be with someone special. Adult relationships carry attachment to a deeper level, but the exclusivity remains. Shouldn’t intimate relationships be exclusive in just this way?

Here are the differences between love and attachment:

  • Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
  • Love imposes no demands. Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand: “Make me feel whole.”
  • Love expands beyond the limits of two people. Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).

191 comments

Bethany M.
Past Member 3 years ago

Thank you.

Dale Overall

Marianne B./Gayle R. very insightful notes. Many find love spending much of their lives with a partner. Their lives are delightfully enriched!

True, the Add Comment button need only be hit once and as soon as one sees the butterfly 20+ points coming out the comment has certainly taken.

Some hit it two or three times in frustration if the comment doesn't take or some want an easy extra 20 points and hit it ten times on purpose, while others just love to hit it for whatever reason. Had someone hit it 45 times responding to one of my comments with her same comment 45 times and I posted similar how to...and refreshing the page, going off to another Care2 article to comment, then returning to the first post usually brings out the comment. It is always there if you hit it once, but many times one has to return later on.

However as this is done constantly by some it gets annoying and if one is frustrated with the conduct of others you can "flag as inappropriate" and type in the reasons for Care2 staff, perhaps they can give a tutorial on how to post for those members genuinely frustrated by the "no shows" of their own comments But then there are those who simply do this for other reasons. Certainly one or two times is reasonable but more than that...ridiculous.

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Andy H.
Andrew Harris4 years ago

There is a deeper aspect to love and attachment that Deepak has not mentioned very clearly. This is perhaps best understood by considerinhg the perspective of the Eastern Orthodox Church. They say that having love for God is the key and this is an unconditional love for all creation. When it comes to the love between a man and a woman and the attachment that this often leads to they describe this as a threat to spiritual progression and a form of idol worship. That said, they believe the true reason for marriage is that it helps us overcome our natural selfishness by making us take care of another person.

Danuta Watola
Danuta Watola4 years ago

Thank you for this article.

Angela N.
Angela N.4 years ago

thnx

Mukesh R.
Mukesh Ramteke4 years ago

thanks...

Jennifer G.
Jennifer G.4 years ago

Noted...thanks for posting

heather g.
heather g.4 years ago

The way Deepak compares Love to Attachment, makes attachment appear like serious, on-going Control over the partner.

Agggghhhh .......... run quickly !

Julie H.
Julie Hoffman4 years ago

thnx