NIce idea but built on a false premise. Love and attachment are inextricably linked. A human being learns how to love through the attachment it builds with its primary carer. This relationship is how the child understands the world and a baby is 'attached' to its carer (usually mother) out of dependency to have its basic physical and emotional needs met. The way we continue relationships into adulthood depends largely on our attachment experiences as an infant during the crucial times out brains were developed. When you look at children who have had disrupted attachments in their early lives they then go on to have problems with relationships in adulthood. Attachment and the need to feel connected to someone who meets your needs which become sexual and emotional is only healthily archived if one has had a good first experience. This 'love' freedom etc the author talks of is simply people who are able to attach without any real issues and are totally secure individuals with NO insecurities whatsoever. Sadly most people are not in this category.

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Such delicious posts for nourishment here. :)

Not much for me to add but one thing I can say is that love between two people works well when each works to encourage the best in each other and to want the best for each other.

Re attachment you all have said it better than I could have.

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Lanakila you are so right and that is so well put. Thank you.

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Love is the moment by moment choice to put the other before oneself but without excluding one's own needs. Love is put into action when we choose to discern how the needs of both can best be integrated when making any decision. People have a psychological need for a healthy sense of attachment. This doesn't have to be possessive or disruptive to the beloved; it gives them the opportunity to care for another with the most basic and wonderful gifts in life - respect, tenderness, shared time and experiences. Love is easy to feel but not always easy to act on. Love is helping each other be who we were born to be. Love is giving and receiving. Love is knowing that while we do not need the other to "complete" us, we become richer by far and get very real needs met through each other's care and sharing. If no such choice is happening - if the two just remain two, and don't give anything of themselves for the other or ask anything of each other, even just being with each other, what differentiates that "love" from two strangers walking past each other on the street? Why are people so afraid to need each other these days? We're so isolated most of us don't even know our neighbors anymore, so why would we now deliberately avoid being attached to those we love?

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Sometimes I think we can confuse love with our need to be with someone, and like to think it's "Love" I've tried and failed, not sure if I'm willing to try again, I'd much prefer a close friend. One real friend can really make a difference. I know cause I've been there.

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The difference between attachment and love is the difference between hunger and giving, devouring and nourishing. Unconditional love is the perfect ideal and only possible if pledged to the beloved's God self.All the transitory multiple selves of a person are not necessarily lovable. It is possible for the beloved to be generous and cruel, loving and cold etc. all at the same time, so the love goes to the eternal self that shows itself , peeping out between all the masks. In my experience it is not something controllable; like a force of nature it sweeps away all before it and the questions to be answered are : Do I lie to myself or accept this as true and what will I do with it.At this point, sorting the difference between the true self of the beloved and the changing masks,though desirable, is quite a challenge. Suppose the love is utterly: true, impossible, inappropriate, doom-laden and inescapable in the face of truth? This is fertile ground for mastering unconditional love. Only the relationship between parents and children, family in general, offers equal opportunity to learn this precious bitter lesson.Attachment is one step towards obsession;the desperation of believing only the lover will fill the emptiness within,only being loved in the desired way by THAT person will make happiness possible. This births vampiric hunger that can never find fulfillment and is totally repellent to all. Who said it was easy and as a spiritual master lesson why should it be?

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Do not confuse the feelings of romance with love. The romantic feelings usually disappear between a married couple once they become physically intimate on a more or less regular basis within six months to a year after marriage.
Real love is a conscious decision to put the other person's needs and desires ahead of your own.

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God is love! One writer defines love when he says, "Love is doing what is necessary for the spiritual growth of the object of that love."

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The nuclear family of over-consumption has got to go for a eco-economy and the stress of global warming we need more dcohesive unit with multiple partners, diversity, more financial security with more workers and less children shared by a larger unit.
The stress on the nuclear family to hold together work, children, household, medical problems and to survive the jealousy of looking for some variety now and then. It is isolated and it protects substtance abuse and abusive behavior and is dangerous to children.

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let FREEDOM reign....!

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