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Is It Time to Take Away The Car Keys?

Here is why you should not jump to a decision or conclusion that mom or dad should no longer drive.

Taking the car keys removes the parent’s independence, the ability to drive to the market or to meet friends for coffee, to church and the senior center, the library or to visit friends. The experience can be traumatic. (What to Do If Mom or Dad Won’t Give up The Keys)

As the caregiver, you may also have to deal with other relatives who may be too quickly judgmental and even emphatic that the keys must be taken.

Involve mom or dad in the consideration and decision. You may find a positive reaction when talking candidly with them, and they will understand your care and concern for their safety.

If you feel that it is time for them to hand over the keys, recognize that you may run into resistance. This is understandable. However, if that is the case, there are several ways to legally revoke your loved one’s license. You just have to find a tactful, loving way to approach this topic.

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Is It Time to Take Away The Car Keys? Originally appeared on

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1:55PM PDT on Aug 8, 2011

Being of an age where I can see the day coming my adult children will feel compelled to see things differently than I do about my independence I hope I will have the wisdom to know when something is unwise to do, and that it endangers myself and/or others. Saying that I am not sure I will be the best judge of that in another 10 years, so my children and I have begun a discussion about when.......for so many things.

5:32AM PDT on Aug 8, 2011

i feel like the time to take away an older person keys depends on their ability to drive and obey the rules of the road. you know like drive too slow on the roads etc.. we had to take the keys away from my dad due to the fact he would get lost and forget where he was going. we have lived in our town since 1982 and it would take him 2 hrs to go to places it would normally take 10 minutes.

6:53AM PDT on Aug 5, 2011

I got off lucky on this both of my parents came to this decision on their own long before we needed to make the decision and my inlaws it came to an abrupt point where they realized that they would not drive again. I can see how this can be a real problem for some people because Parents still need toget around and families may not have all the recorses available to them that we do. I encourage people facing this problem to look for public transportation there are programs that will pick them up at home and take them to DR or store for a reasonable price

8:48AM PDT on Aug 4, 2011

As the population ages, there are now even better reasons to improve our public transportation systems. One local (subsidized) senior housing facility has transportation buses available a few times a week, so that residents can get to an from the doctor, shops, social events, libraries, etc. It would be awesome if the budget could be arranged to offer this service at least once a week at all senior facilities (using the buses/vans on different days at different facilities). Using this model, public transportation could be offered in the suburbs much more affordably - even if a bus only did rounds once or twice a week, this could also help homemakers/homeworkers/two-parent/single-wage-earner families decrease their reliance on gasoline, or even a second (or in some cases, even one) vehicle.

8:48AM PDT on Aug 4, 2011

My Grandmother was in her 90's when she quit driving. She only had one traffic ticket for running a stop sign. Nobody would ride with her she had a lead foot. She put herself in a nursing home. She was very coherent. She died at 102 yrs old. We all miss her dearly. My Aunt is in her 90's she doesn't drive it was her choice. She still has her car she will not sell it. Her daughter and a friend drives her wherever she needs to go. I do know other elderly people who shouldn't be driving this is difficult situation to give up their independence. They are risking their lives and others on the roads.

7:32AM PDT on Aug 4, 2011

Driving tests, both theory and practice, are an invaluable help in this. AARP has such a test for older drivers, and the local driver's license place gives practical driving tests for older people. The tests can be done at any time, but after age 75, perhaps, it could be important to check things out. I know some who have done it, not for their own reassurance, but because their insurance required it after a certain age.

6:32AM PDT on Aug 4, 2011

At one point in time, we wanted my father to stop driving. For years, we had been afraid to ride with him. He had a very bad heart condition. The thing that really scared us all, however, was the abdominal aneurysm he had. When he was lying on the sofa, resting, you could see it pulsing. When we tried to get him to quit driving because of this, he said he knew the risk he was taking. When we stated that no one else on the road knew the risk, he had no answer. My sister talked to his doctor, and the doctor was going to tell him he could not drive anymore at his next visit. He never made it. He died before that. Fortunately, he did not have an accident and kill anyone. I only hope and pray, when I reach the point of not being safe on the road anymore, I will be able to give up without a fight.

5:17AM PDT on Aug 4, 2011

It always gripes me when people suggest that others can take public transportation. Not all of us live in an area where that is an option. We have NO public transportation...not even a cab. So when you take the keys away, the person has to rely on friends and family. You would be surprised to know how unavailable they are when you need a ride to the store or Dr. sad..

6:52PM PDT on Aug 3, 2011

This is again a debate about analogue versus digital. We always need to be cautious about this divide because if we take away car that some sort of fail safe system to prevent us from being victims. As long as we have our keys we can always override the system.

4:26PM PDT on Aug 3, 2011

Perhaps th best solution would be to have drivers tests yearsly or even every 6 months for those over a certain age. However, I'm not sure what age would be a good place to start. I have a friend who is in her early 60's and you couldn't PAY me enough to ride with her. I have another friend in her 70's who does just fine. I have another friend who is less than 35 who suffers MS and seizures and still drives. Where would we start???

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