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Is That Voice In Your Head Qualified To Help?

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Is That Voice In Your Head Qualified To Help?

This morning during a group call, one of my students explained that she was feeling incredibly indecisive about releasing the stuff that no longer serves her. We talked about the clothes, toys, and other assorted paraphernalia that came into her home for the first year of her daughter’s life. They haven’t yet decided if there will be another child in their family. So, whether this stuff might be useful again is impossible to know today. Her wedding dress, as they often do in these classes, made its way into our conversation.

She’d almost released it once before but didn’t, and while she’s been in the class, she’s been considering it again. We talked about all of the possible reasons that people cling to wedding dresses — daughter might want it later, it represents her marriage, etc. — and none of the standard reasons really resonated for her. Instead, she realized that one part of her is ready to release it but another part is scared she will regret it.

I could feel that this back and forth battle was something of a theme in her life, so I asked and she confirmed, “It happens all the time.” The image I was seeing was of two people trying to control her, one hers and one belonging to someone else. I explained that there are two forces battling and that the first one is hers. It’s the one that tells her what’s true for her. Yes, it’s okay to release the wedding dress, or change jobs, or let her daughter play and explore the outdoors. Then, the second voice swoops right in and tells her that these things are careless or dangerous, that she will have regret or be unsafe. I asked who the second voice belongs to.

That’s my mother’s voice… the one who always causes me to doubt myself.

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Christy Diane Farr

Christy Diane Farr is a catalyst. If that sounds like something you want more of in your life, visit 'The Greenhouse' at and join the Wildflower Evolution on Facebook.


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2:10PM PDT on Jun 11, 2012

Sensible article. I wish it could help my sister, who continues living in the past...and bringing it up. Counseling did not help her..It's frustrating to me, but I'll stop her mid-sentence, and continue to support her. I am glad I don't listen to the thoughts in my head.( or I'd slap her silly) lol

11:51PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

I enjoyed your article Christie because it contained wisdom and good advice and truth. This is nobody's life but my own and my responsibility to nurture and protect.

9:34PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

What a schiziphrenic article, Schizophrenia is defined as hearing voices in your head. No one in my head exept me. I drive my life all by my self.

8:57PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

Very helpful! The first voice is me. The second voice, the doubting voice, is not important! Good advice!

8:12PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

Be careful of voices in your head.

8:08PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

Thanks for the article.

8:06PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

Thank you Christy.

6:21PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

Fortunately, I had a former friend who taught me that others opinions/voices are not what we are most of the time anyway so to ... with them......

My mom never said anything after i was out on my own....asked me to think about getting married so soon after high school since I had gotten my Navy quota ....wished I had listened to her.

My mother in law told my former first and only white husband not to marry his third wife just to live with her...well she brought him down and out for sure not me.

We should all listen to our real mothers...not those idiots that pretend to like us.

6:08PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

Sure if you don't listen to yourself, then it won't do any good to listen to anyone else.

5:53PM PDT on Jun 10, 2012

If its a voice in my head, I would say don't pay it any attention. It's crazy

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