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It’s Okay For Things To Go Well

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It’s Okay For Things To Go Well

By Mike Robbins

How do you feel when things go well for you? If you’re anything like me you may have some mixed feelings about it, as odd as that seems.  While I do love it when things go well and when I’m feeling good, I also notice that sometimes it poses certain challenges for me as well.

For the past few months, things have been going quite well in my life and with my work.  And, more important, I’ve been feeling happier, more peaceful, more grounded, and more vital than I have in quite a long time.

All of these things are wonderful, yet I find myself feeling uneasy and uncomfortable with this at some level.  Even though I wrote a book called Focus on the Good Stuff and many of the themes that I speak about and write about center around being grateful, appreciative, and fulfilled in life, it can be a little tricky for me to fully embrace and experience my life when it’s going well. Maybe you can relate to this?

What is this about? For me and those of us who may struggle with authentic “good stuff”?

For me, there are a few main things that come up and get in my way when things start to go really well.

First of all, I hear this voice in my head that says, “It’s too good to be true, it won’t last, or you’ll mess it up.”

Second of all, I worry that people won’t like me, will judge me, or will get jealous of my success or my happiness, and thus pull away from me or withhold their love, appreciation, and approval.  Connected to this feeling of separation, I also find myself worrying that if things go too well I won’t be able to relate to, connect with, or be accepted by some of the most important people and groups in my world.

Third of all, much of my learning, growth, and evolution in life has come through my own pain and suffering (i.e. “the hard way”).  Even though I’ve heard a number of teachers and mentors in my life say that we can grow more effectively and elegantly through joy, peace, and love, I find myself worrying that if things get too good, I’ll get lazy, stop actively learning, or somehow abandon my journey of personal growth, which is one of the most important things in my life.

Finally, I tend to feel guilty for my success, well being, or good fortune – especially given that so many people I know (and even more people in the world) are suffering, in pain, or dealing with both small and big challenges.  That same voice in my head says to me, “It’s not fair that things are going well for you, look at all those people who are having a hard time.”

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27 comments

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7:14AM PST on Feb 19, 2013

Yes, I know it is a really strange but sometimes things seem to good to be true that instead of living it we feel scared and insecure. I have tried to be firm in my purposes.

7:41PM PDT on Mar 31, 2012

Remember "This too shall pass". That applies to all things-good,bad,your life,all life, this very Earth and solar system will all go when the sun goes.

7:39PM PDT on Mar 31, 2012

You live in the here and now. The choices YOU ,make(not someone else) determines the outcome of YOUR life. He is gone and sounds, like a good choice, let go and move on with YOUR life.

11:58AM PDT on Mar 25, 2012

You do everyone around you a favor when you are happy and positive. It is easier to focus on things outside of yourself when you aren't worried about your problems. Sometimes I find it difficult to do the things I know will make me happier, but I'm always grateful when things are going well.

7:54PM PDT on Mar 20, 2012

Things usually go well for me, even when there are what look like glitches or set backs.I figure they're just 'course corrections' because when things are going well, I keep asking, "how good can it get?" The idea is to set your direction. "how good can it get?" will take you on a whole different journey than "How hard can it be?" Make sure you really want to know about the difficulties that can arise if you ask that question. If you think you must cycle back thru doubt, remember lots of people have already done that and the learning has been archived. No need to keep re-inventing the wheel, you can read about it some day when you have nothing better to do.

2:51AM PDT on Mar 15, 2012

A great post

7:52PM PDT on Mar 14, 2012

I'll take all the good luck I can get!

5:11PM PDT on Mar 14, 2012

Thanks.

4:44PM PDT on Mar 14, 2012

Right now I am in an incredible upswing in my encore career and I find myself second-guessing every single decision..I have been in the throes of a downhill spiral for several years trying different things to change course. Now that it is happening I'm scared to death.
A dream literally come true and at my age these chances are shall we say fewer and farther between. I actually live in paradise starting exactly the business I have desired for years...how come I feel frozen in the middle of the night...Fortunately I also have the opportunity to teach a young Mexican man this business and he really keeps me grounded...That is the reason I won't screw this up. When someone is counting on you it does help..WOW talking this out helped.thanks!!!

1:56PM PDT on Mar 14, 2012

thank you. Thoughtful article.

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