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Jerry Sandusky & Sexual Abuse

My experience on the panel blatantly reminded me that we live in a world that is fighting many demons. There is a lot of real pain, a lot of gut wrenching trauma that innocent children, that good people, are faced with every day. And while it’s easy to think of Jerry Sandusky as a monster — because what he did disgusts me to my core — I feel that there is a sickness, an imbalance at its very core, that runs deep not only in him, but in our society.

I think about a similar situation where someone I know was caught doing something that disturbed me in the same way, something that I thought should be punished. Something I didn’t want to accept that person could ever do. I fidget as I realize that this person’s actions were a coping reaction to a deep trauma, abuse, from the past. My head spins as I think about another friend who was abused by her father. I still cannot come to terms with it and am in awe with how she copes every day. I realize she copes because she has to. She had to heal.

I avoided the daily news about Jerry Sandusky. I avoided it, not because I was protesting the media hype, but because it made me sick and emotional. But, I know that avoiding darkness does not make it go away. It does not help people heal.

I read this article about Sandusky’s pastor’s words to his congregation last Sunday. He told of how Jesus was awoken on a rocking boat as a storm raged around them. He responded with the words: Peace. Be Still.

“Sure, the darkness is deep and the waves are powerful, but this is the time to engage the world, not run from it,” he said from the pulpit. “This is the day of our saving. God always speaks the loudest when the waves are the highest. Peace! Be still!”

Those women on my panel, they did not run from their pasts. They are the victims who will not be held back — who can inspire others to heal and not continue cycles of abuse. They are the light bearers for the future. The ones who share the stories so that we can let the tears flow freely in pain. So that we can release, and then find the inner stillness and strength to move on.

More from Mallika’s Mindful Mom Series:
Mommy, Why Did 9/11 Happen?
Mommy Guilt: How Do You Deal With It?
How Do I Explain to My Kids That the Government Deems Gay People’s Love Wrong?
Mommy Days – Balancing Work and Kids

Related:
A Mother’s Open Letter to Jerry Sandusky
Penn State Scandal: Can You Imagine?
For Victims of Sexual Abuse

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Chelsea, selected from Intent.com

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69 comments

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8:24AM PDT on Jul 31, 2012

Stories of courage here from people sexually abused and not validated, so very tragic. If validated one can heal far more easily but when a child is scorned and disbelieved it must be horrific, tearing at the very fabric of the soul.

I was sexually abused by two brothers and have found solace from the book The Courage To Heal along with a lot of counselling and healing has been fraught with depression and difficulties. The dark chasm and abyss one is tossed down into is a never ending struggle.

Climbing up towards the light at the top one often falls back downwards, bloodied and morose to try and grab at a vine or rock to scrabble back upwards towards the top, often taking years. Some do not even make it while many of us see and reach the light, be it of caring people, councillors or a pet that brings us the only comfort. My life now sees rainbows but there will always be a piece of the leaden blanket that holds part of me back as well.

12:41PM PDT on Jul 13, 2012

noted

10:16PM PDT on Jul 7, 2012

I know women who are close to me, who have been sexually abused by predators. One who has suffered greatly mentally has a cocktail of drugs which she takes daily,to block out the pain. They are never the same after they have been abused as children. They pay the price daily for the callousness of evil minds and evil actions.

12:03AM PDT on Jul 6, 2012

This is a good start to ensure that those who abuse our men and boys will have justice served upon them. To ensure that the men have a place to go, please sign Sean's Voice, a petition to ensure that abused men and boys have equal access to emergency shelter, support, and services to ensure the best potential outcome. This is dedicated to baby Sean, whose life was taken by the hands of his mother.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/a-new-perspective-the-unacknowledged-abuse-survivors/

6:02AM PDT on Jul 3, 2012

noted

7:57PM PDT on Jul 2, 2012

Thanks for sharing your point of view regarding this horrific man.

7:14PM PDT on Jul 2, 2012

Thanks for the thoughts on a tough subject.

1:44PM PDT on Jul 1, 2012

Jerry is right where he belongs and since he has a pension for anal sex....He's right at home!

9:33AM PDT on Jul 1, 2012

Thanks for the insights.

8:53AM PDT on Jul 1, 2012

A good article.Dottie is as guilty as Jerry is. Don't tell me the wife didn't know. Pathetic enabler with blinders on. Probably justified it to herself that she didn't want to give us her nice lifestyle so she let him do anything he wanted to those young boys. Shame on you Dottie ! May you both experience the Karma you deserve.

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