START A PETITION 25,136,189 members: the world's largest community for good

Learning To Forgive

Learning To Forgive

The reason that people cannot forgive is that their anger has worn a deep groove in the mind, and like water seeking a downward slope, their minds find this groove so easily that new channels of feeling cannot be formed.

Learning to make a new groove for your feelings is the key. Once again, the steps arenít mystical. You can forgive anyone who has hurt you by taking the following actions:

Choose the intent to forgive, even though your feelings are still hurt. Have the intention to let new feelings come in. Encourage even the slightest hints of a new feeling. Experience the old hurt and anger, but always say, This isnít me, This is not what I want anymore. Keep challenging the old hurt with reasons why it should be replaced. Be patients and let yourself experience both the old and the new feelings until the old one begins to fade.

You will be working with yourself, privately but not alone. Unhappiness is solitary; healing is not. Healing is bigger than personality. When someone gets a cut, we donít say, Maybe his skin will heal, who knows? It all depends on the kind of person he is. Your skin heals independently of who you are.

Psychologically healing works exactly the same way. You donít have to be nice, good, smart, or deserving. Yet how many of us secretly believe that we should continue to suffer because we deserve to, or because we arenít nice enough, good enough, or smart enough to change?

The big difference between healing the skin and healing the mind is that you have to participate in the latter. But this difference is not a stumbling block once the healing gets under way. At the level of the soul there lies an entire healing mechanism every bit as effective as the bodyís immune system. If you have the intention to heal, you give new energy permission to come into you and clear away obstacles.

Adapted from: Peace Is the Way, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2005).

Read more: Deepak Chopra's Tips, Spirit, , ,

have you shared this story yet?

go ahead, give it a little love

Deepak Chopra

Acknowledged as one of the world's greatest leaders in the field of mind body medicine, Deepak Chopra, M.D. continues to transform our understanding of the meaning of health. Chopra is known as a prolific author of over 49 books with 12 best sellers on mind-body health, quantum mechanics, spirituality, and peace. A global force in the field of human empowerment, Dr. Chopra's books have been published in more than 35 languages with more than 20 million copies in print.


+ add your own
9:42AM PST on Nov 27, 2013

Thank you!

10:07AM PDT on Oct 23, 2013

Forgive and move on...

11:11AM PDT on Oct 2, 2013


4:33AM PDT on Sep 26, 2013

Brilliant article. EFT helps tremendously in the healing process.

4:46AM PDT on Sep 25, 2013

Thanks for sharing.

7:36AM PDT on Sep 15, 2013

Forgiveness should start from one self. This eliminates the embarassing situations that mind seems to crop out to disturb the equanimity

7:18AM PDT on Jun 4, 2013

Like it namaste

7:17PM PDT on May 25, 2013

..release ur unforgiven spiritual hostages... and u too will be released...Only a truely broken person can damage another.. sad for them.. walk the walk.even over the broken glass and hot coals..towards your freedom..Take them with you in your prayers....every one needs some one to pray them into the kingdom..x

10:46AM PDT on May 21, 2013

i like it! thank you so much!!! :)

11:06PM PDT on Apr 28, 2013

Yes, it is difficult. It's been perhaps my biggest chellenge in this life, as I could never understand why anyone would purposely hurt another. Having been hurt a number of times, by family members, bosses, co-workers who say and do things (lies and/or cruel) that have hurt my career, income, & my self esteem, effects of which are livelong, I certainly know how hard it is to forgive.

The method I have found the most success with, is reminding myself that God sees all, and He will deal with them, for one thing. Also, I keep telling myself is that to stay angry and refuse to forgive keeps these hurts and insults on my mind and on my heart, and I didn't deserve it the first time, let alone to be punished for their sin again, or forever, which holding onto a hurt or a grudge actually does. I'm still trying to put those times out of my mind, by asking God to take care of those situations. I don't know if it will ever be easy, but I'm working on it.

I have found in many of the cases, those hurtful comments and/or actions have turned back on the perpetrators, with no involvment or guilt for me. Hearing they got some of what they deserve, I admit, makes it easier to forgive the next time.

I want a peaceful heart, and one important step is to throw those thngs over my shoulder as soon as possible. I only wish I could do it more quickly, but I'm working on that.

add your comment

Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

What an awesome story! It really warmed my heart! May God bless you for taking care of one of his cr…

Hello I am Lisa Jerry ,I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex…

I am trying to break the habit of reading some of this stuff.

Story idea? Want to blog? Contact the editors!

Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.