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What if You’re in a Relationship & Attracted to Someone Else?

What if You’re in a Relationship & Attracted to Someone Else?

It doesn’t matter how in love you are, how mature you are, or how much you enjoy sex with your partner. It’s pretty common to feel attracted to someone else even if you’re in a happy, healthy relationship.

But when is the attraction natural and harmless, and when is it something more? Ask yourself these questions when you need help deciding what your attraction really means and what to do about it.

Am I happy in my relationship?

Yes: Relax. Your attraction to others is part of the human experience. You don’t have to act on it, flaunt it, or fear it. Just put most of your romantic, flirty energy into the one you’re committed to.

No: Your attraction to others may be a sign that your feelings are changing. Think about why you’re not happy. Then ask yourself if the issue(s) were fixed, would you want to be with your partner? If you’re still into them, work on the stuff that’s making you unhappy. If you’re not sure about the relationship anymore, read this to see if you’re ready to break up.

Am I sexually satisfied in my relationship?

Yes: If you’re having good sex, yet attracted to others, there’s the possibility that you need more emotional or intellectual fulfillment in your relationship. If you’re not connecting with your partner, try to nurture closeness through common interests and experiences outside the bedroom.

No: If you look at others because you think they’d fulfill you in bed, remember there’s no guarantee that’s true. If your current relationship is solid except for the sex, try to work on that together. (Could be a fun assignment.) But, if you’re truly incompatible in the bedroom, ask yourself if the relationship will ever satisfy you sexually. (Because sex is part of a healthy, happy relationship and everyone deserves a partner who satisfies them.)

Am I okay with risking my relationship to hook up with someone else?

Yes: If you feel like cheating, read this. Then, if you’re really ready to do it with someone else and don’t care if your current relationship ends over it, perhaps it is time to break up before you hook up.

No: Okay, so you know you don’t want to risk a breakup, but you’re still grappling with an attraction to someone else. Here’s what a bunch of experts advise: Dear WendyDear MariellaMadame NoireDear Sugar, and Lovepanky.

Whether you act on an attraction or not, make sure your birth control is covered. And do make STI prevention a part of it. Life and relationships can be complex. Birth control doesn’t have to be.

 

Related Articles
Is Office Romance Ever OK?
What to Do When You Want Different Things in Bed

Read more: Dating, Love, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Health, Women's Health, , , , , , , , ,

Originally published on Bedsider.org.

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Everyone should have the life they want, when they want it. And until someone is ready to have a baby, we believe they should have access to birth control. That’s where we come in. Bedsider makes birth control easier. How? By giving you everything you need to find it, get it, and use it well.

84 comments

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11:53AM PDT on May 6, 2014

Thank you for sharing!!

4:36AM PDT on Mar 27, 2014

Noted.

4:36AM PDT on Mar 27, 2014

Noted.

3:47PM PDT on Mar 19, 2014

Look but don't touch, that's nature. If it goes beyond that, be honest and save both of you lots of trouble down the pipe.

Maybe through listening and talking a mututal agreement can be reached ... otherwise take a hike and move forward, don't allow yourself get be stuck in place and miserable.

3:38PM PDT on Mar 17, 2014

Attraction is human nature. Acting on it is choice and there is always a choice.

5:48PM PDT on Mar 13, 2014

It is a human nature to be attracted to the other people, if the person isn't they are lying... it really depends what you want to do with you attraction? you can keep it attraction and move on with your life... if it becomes more than attraction, check in with your feelings.. it may or may not be real... there may be other things that are missing in your life...

5:05PM PST on Mar 8, 2014

There's really nothing that says you cant have multiple lovers either. Not everyone has to be monogamous. Do what works for you, there is no relationship rule book.

3:07PM PST on Mar 7, 2014

thanks. good article.

10:19AM PST on Mar 1, 2014

"
9:40AM PST on Feb 16, 2014

the grass always looks greener on the other side

BETH~ YOU ARE SO RIGHT...HOWEVER THE REASON FOR THAT IS, THE OTHER SIDE HAS A HELL OF A LOT MORE MANURE!

10:17AM PST on Mar 1, 2014

DO THE RIGHT THING AND EXIT THE CURRENT RELATIONSHIP RESPECTFULLY...THEN GO AND DO WHAT IT IS YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO DO! NOTHING WRONG WITH ADMIRING THE BEAUTY OF ANOTHER SO LONG AS YOU WINDOW SHOP AND THEN STAY OUT OF THE STORE!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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